My wife's drinking

Posted , 12 users are following.

My wife has been drinking heavy the past few years I convinced her to cut back this week and she went 2 nights without drinking.  Last night she drank her normal amount (4 or 5 vodkas) and woke up sick with headache and nausea.  She felt fine the 2 nights she didn't drink.  She thinks it is a bug but I wanted to see if anyone else has experienced the same. Thanks

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  • Posted

    Sounds like it could well be alcohol related. Maybe someone that's tried the same will be along to give their take on it. 

    What size bottle does she ususally buy and how long does it take her to go through it? Are you folks in the US or UK? 

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    • Posted

      Steve, you might want to have a look at this if she basically tries to stop but just ends up going back to it. She can use this while drinking, it basically uses drinking against itself. 

      https://patient.info/health/sinclair-method-for-alcohol-use-disorder

      This is what I'm using to bring an end to a 30+ year drinking disorder. I was up around 84 US standard drinks per week and after 4.5 months, I'm at about 20 per week. 

      If she's going through 1.75 L in 3 days, that's 39 1.5oz drinks (US standard), or 13 drinks per day, so she's pouring doubles or better. That would work out to about 90 drinks per week. Not that far from where I started out.

      She's going to feel tons better if she can cut that down to low risk levels. About 40% of people that use the above method end up abstaining altogether, but the point is that they have a choice in the matter and no longer feel compelled to drink. 

      She might be more open to a solution like this that doesn't require quitting cold turkey. Doesn't sound like that works out in the end anyway, so maybe time for a Plan B?

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    • Posted

      No problem, Steve. Please let me know if you have any questions or would like more info. I'll be happy to tell you anything I know or get you connected to some additional resources. 
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  • Posted

    Hi Steve 

    You said your wife started drinking heavily the pass few years.Did something happen like a loss in the family, accident etc etc??

    How much is your wife drinking per nite and how many nites a week?

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    • Posted

      Yes her mother had dementia for about 2 years and finally died about 1 year ago.  She drinks every night, I would say 4 to 6 vodka drinks per night.  Like I said she felt fine the two nights she didn't drink it was this morning after drinking last night that she felt sick.
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  • Posted

    I should probably let you know I am an alcoholic that has not drank in ten years..So hopefully can help you..

    If your wife is drinking quite a few nights of the week heavily and she stopped for two.. The headache and nausea could be a response to not having alcohol for two days..

    Did she have tremors the two days she stopped or does she get them in general?

    How is her drinking affecting her home life and her personality?? 

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    • Posted

      No she seemed fine the 2 days she didn't drink.  FYI about 2 months ago she was diagnosed with AFIB (Irregular heart beat) and stopped drinking for about 21 days and felt fine also.  Her drinking affects everything, our homelife her relationship with her family our social life etc
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    • Posted

      It sounds to me that your wife was drinking more to cope with her mother having dementia and then the loss.. Would you agree with this? If so do you think she would benefit from grief councelling??

      Using alcohol as a coping method can become a dependancy and she has got stuck in this habit ..

      Does your wife acknowledge that her drinking is a problem and is it having an affect on her family, friends etc?

      Or is she stopping drinking due to feeling pressured??

      If she is trying to stop by choice and due to her health this is a positive.. She is ready to address the problem..

      If she is struggling to stop by herself a visit to the GP to discuss options on how to address the problem si the way forward..

      How do you think she would feel about this??

       

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    • Posted

      I think she needs counseling also but right now she doesn't want to spend the money.  She knows she has a problem but downplays it.  We had a long talk about her getting healthy again and that led to the 2 nights without drinking.  It was supposed to be all week but she gets home before I do and gave in.  She is a closet smoker and drinker we know our Dr very well but he doesn't even know she smokes.  It is a tough situation I want her to trust me but I want to help her also.
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    • Posted

      She could be playing her drinking down because she is frightened and doesn't want to acknowledge how bad it has got. It is also possible she is depressed due to the loss of her mother and alcohol being a depressant adding to this.  You cannot do this on your own Steve and your wife needs to totally acknowledge she has a problem and get the help she needs.

       A doctor is a starting point as he can gauge if she needs detox, medication or attend AA support group..There would be no point going into counselling until she stops drinking.  As drink numbs the emotions and it takes time for these to surface when alcohol has stopped for a period of time..

      It sounds like she cannot stop herself.. You could talk to her about any suggestions that are made on here and see how she feels.Of course not mentioning this forum... Pride is going to play a major part in this so slow steps when approaching this..You could suggest the grief counselling and going to see the doctor with her and go from there..

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  • Posted

    Well, the first question would be, what event started her drinking heavily two years ago.

    The volume of alcohol she is drinking (1.75 / 2.75 = 0.64) is nearly a bottle of spirits a day. It is odd that she felt fine when not drinking, but not good when drinking, that is the reverse of what usually happens. It may be that she has so much alcohol in her system that it is not being metabolised speedily and she is having delayed withdrawal symptoms.

    She needs to go and have an LFT at her GP, to see the state of her liver. If it is not well, that could lead to these feelings.

    Whatever the situation, she is drinking far too much and if she doesn't have problems now, then she is storing them up for the future. And that kind of damage is irreversible. The liver needs days off alcohol to recover, not alcohol everyday.

    Just in case you think I'm being judgemental, I ended up with a nice hospital stay through my drinking, so I'm not lobbing any stones from inside my glasshouse.

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    • Posted

      It is always difficult most people who become dependent on alcohol, already know what they are doing is wrong and bad for them. So they don't take kindly to having this pointed out to them, no matter how well intended it is.

      How does she react when you try to get her to reduce or have nights off. Also, how do you think she would respond if you told her you psoted on here about her. I ask, because I'm trying to understand her thought process.

      It is quite obviously a coping mechanism, people who start drinking heavily later in their life, are usually using it as a crutch, against stress, anxiety, grief or similar.

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    • Posted

      I can't talk to her about it if she has already started drinking, but I can suggest that she cut back in the up coming days and she will be receptive but then come home the next day and say she was stressed from work or has a headache and needs a drink.
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    • Posted

      What happens on days when she isn't stressed eg weekends, holidays? I'm so sorry for your situation and know how much you want to help your wife.
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    • Posted

      SPOT ON RHGB, and I hope Steve does what you suggest.  It is, as you know, very,very demoralising to watch your life partner slipping away - hopefully, Steve's wife isn't so bad that there isn't a way forward.

      I didn't think your reply sounded at all judgemental, BTW. Tess.

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