My world at the moment!

Posted , 21 users are following.

Hi all

12 week post TKR

Many of you will know me from this forumI'm Irish Ann.

Everyone on this forum has been so helpful and informative and I would not be as well as I am today without you all. Thank you.  Thank you.

My world at the moment is in chaos.

My one and only sister, which I have spoken about on this forum, is in hospital 50 miles away with a virulent form of pneumonia.  She is quite frail, and is very ill.

My mother (she's 91) is in hospital near me for over a week, with the same pneumonia.  She had given it to my sister.  My mother is doing well and is responding to treatment.

My husband is in the same hospital awaiting an operation in the 'man problem' area.

He has major heart problems so anaesthesia is a problem and they are still not sure how to proceed at the moment.

He has a large inoperable clot in the back of his heart.

He also has haemachromatosis.

All three are serious and coud kill him and I dont know which bit of him to worry about the most!

But by far the worst and saddest of all is I am losing him, my husband of 47 years, my best friend to dementia. 

He is slowly fading away from me.  Did not remember that they had told him he had a clot in the heart.  Did not tell me about the haemachromatosis nor did he turn up for the appointment that was made for him.  I only found all this out a couple of weeks ago, and the haemachromatosis when he was admitted yesterday.

He will never go into a doctors surgery without me EVER again.

It was a wake up call for me, I had not realised how bad he really was, as on day to day things he is fine.  But anything new he will keep asking you the same thing over and over again.

Terrible too for me was going to the doctors yesterday and explaining that he would not remember a word of what they tell him and they would need to refer to me.

I know this has absolutely nothing to do with TKR but just needed to have a rant and you are the best guys I know for that.

Thank you for listening

Ann

Ireland

 

5 likes, 120 replies

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  • Posted

    Good Lord Ann !!! Too much to bare!!! I'm so sorry!!

    Please God they will all pull through! Xx

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  • Posted

    This is just too much for one person. You must try and access support, especially with your very young husband. 

     

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    • Posted

      Hi Ann

      Just realised that your another Ann!

      Was looking at your post and saying to myself I didnt write that?

      I must be cracking up ( which I am!).

      Thanks for your kind thoughts.

      Ann X

      Ireland

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    • Posted

      Ann I'm just new on here.( Scotland) 

      thought my mother devoid of imagination calling me Ann and my older sister a romantic Nora !! 

      Im about to take my knee to the supermarket , here's hoping it doesn't let me down.

      its been 8 weeks for me , never thought it would hurt so much !!!

      anyway, I'm feeling much more encouraged that I'm not on my own and daily improvements with me... 

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    • Posted

      Sounds all good to me Scottish Ann!

      I'm 12 weeks tomorrow.  Definitely much better in the last 2 weeks or so.

      Still on painkillers (especially at the moment), do my stretches and walking and icing ( a few times a day), so dont stop doing them, but keep them gentle.

      All on here are great and so supportive, I feel as though they are my friends even though we will never meet.

      Best wishes

      Ann X

      Ireland

       

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  • Posted

    Thanks Gaby.

    I have had him at memory clinics in the past.

    He seemed to stabilise for a long time, but in the last 6 months has gone downhill.  I think personally it is heart related and he is not getting enough oxygen to the brain. Possibly this clot that has solidified in the heart. Its in a pocket at the top of the heart and they say it is not doing any damage where it is, but if it moves......................

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  • Posted

    Hi Ann , I am so sorry you are going through such an awful time and my heart goes out to you. It's bad enough going through your knee operation and recovery and you have all this to cope with too. I care for my mum with dementia, but she is 95, but for your young husband it must be so hard to bear. I live in the U.K. but we have Admiral nurses who are available for carers looking after family members with dementia. I have a lovely lady who comes to see me once a month and I can vent all my worries and problems that come up l whilst ooking after my mum. When you go to your doctor please ask if they are available in your area. Please stay strong and keep us informed how things are going. You are going to need as much support as possible. Kind regards Jannette
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  • Posted

    Thanks Jeanette,

    My mother is doing well and is on the mend.  She is as bright as a button and fiercely independent, sometimes to her detriment!

    Colm is such a worry though. Whats particularly sad for him (and me) is he knows he is losing his memory and he it was that said 'I'm slowly fading away'.

    He has always had heart problems, but not to remember that he was told that he had a large clot in his heart and not follow up on it!!!

    I had never even heard of haemachromatosis until I heard he had that yesterday.  Thats a killer too apparently.

    He also has cancer, which they are operating on tomorrow.  They cant give a full anaesthetic because of his heart, so will have to do it under local anaesthetic with sedation.

    All this is so scary!

    Thanks for listening.

    Ann X

    Ireland

     

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  • Posted

    Hi Ann, what a lot to deal with !!!! And I'm sure you are on your loved ones worry lists!! Look after yourself first physically and mentally, that way you will have strength for your family. They are all in the best possible places to be looked after and to get well. It's bad enough emotionally getting over tkr without anything else. Try just taking one day at a time, yesterday's gone, tomorrow isn't here yet, all we have is today, x
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  • Posted

    Anytime Anne Hope the operation goes well and keep brave . Xx
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  • Posted

    Have done my stretches, walking and stair climbing!

    Hopefully 'log leg' will not let me down today with not too much 'thunder and lightning' either redface

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  • Posted

    So much to go through Ann. I hope you have friends nearby who can support you. It puts all our sort-of minor-ish (tongue in cheek as it's awful really!) problems re the TKR's into prospective. Chin up & be as strong as you can - & rant on here as often as you need to. Thinking of you xx
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  • Posted

    Thanks Janette.

    Dont have the friends I once had since I retired.

    So you will have to put up with my rants here!

    Thanks for listening.

    Ann X

    Ireland

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  • Posted

    Well we are your new friends and will be here to help if we can. You are never alone and when life throws all this at you ,you need an outlet and friends to listen to your worries. Take care Jannette
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  • Posted

    I know Janette

    Dont know what I would have done without this forum going through all the trials and tribulations of TKRconfused

    Ann X

    Ireland

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