Name your 'Gammy' bit - The Return Part 3
Posted , 3 users are following.
This is part three of Name your 'Gammy' Bit which is an extension of the existing pages (1&2) where you can list your health problems and moan about them, tell some clean jokes and have a laugh, make some friends and revisit old times whilst putting the world to rights.
You may rant, rave and generally have a good 'natter', but please remember that all pages are Moderated, so aggressive and improper bahaviour, swearing and any attempted spamming connected with goods and/or services will be thrown-out.
Have fun................................
1 like, 49 replies
archemedes
Posted
A priest, a preacher and a rabbi meet regularly.
All agree that preaching isn't that hard.
A challenge would be to preach to a bear.
So they go into the woods, find a bear, preach, and attempt to convert it. Afterwards, they compare notes.
Father Flannery, arm in a sling, says,
"I read to my bear from the Catechism. Well, that bear was tough. I sprinkled him with holy water, and Sunday he’s taking his first communion."
Reverend Jones, in a wheelchair says,
“I read to the bear from God's Holy Word! But he wrestled me near a creek. I baptized him. We spent the day praising Jesus."
They both look at the rabbi in a full body cast.
“Oy. Looking back, circumcision may not have been the best way to start."
archemedes
Posted
A guy joins a monastery and takes a vow of silence:
he’s allowed to say two words every seven years.
After the first seven years, the elders bring him in and ask for his two words.
"Cold floors," he says.
They nod and send him away.
Seven more years pass.
They bring him back in and ask for his two words.
He clears his throats and says,
"Bad food."
They nod and send him away.
Seven more years pass.
They bring him in for his two words.
"I quit," he says".
"That’s not surprising," the elders say.
"You’ve done nothing but complain since you got here."
GeorgiaS archemedes
Posted
One young man approached her and sang to her but his voice was awful so she walked away feeling pity for him.
Another young man tried to get into her pants by giving her loads of flowers. She thought 'I know your kind' and walked away.
Another young man pretended not to notice her, stood by a tree looking away. So she pretended not to notice him and looked away. They got married and didn't notice each other for 50 years!
archemedes GeorgiaS
Posted
Thanks
Rx
archemedes
Posted
try not to go through a tunnel,
then onto a seesaw,
then jump through a hoop of fire.
They're trained for that
GeorgiaS archemedes
Posted
archemedes
Posted
He holds them up, and says to his wife,
"Do you want the parrot, or do you want the cockatoo?"
She replies,
"I'll have the parrot, I've had a cockatoo while you were away!"
GeorgiaS archemedes
Posted
archemedes GeorgiaS
Posted
archemedes
Posted
jumped out of his bath with “Eureka!”
He ran half a mile
wearing only a smile
and became the very first streaker.
GeorgiaS archemedes
Posted
archemedes GeorgiaS
Posted
GeorgiaS archemedes
Posted
GeorgiaS archemedes
Posted
The married woman said 'He ingnores me, he's an ignorant pig, I can't stand him'!
The single woman said 'Very good point but I have to DIY'
archemedes GeorgiaS
Posted
Rx