Nearly 4 weeks on 10mg and possibly one of the worst days so far

Posted , 8 users are following.

Hi all, just had very tough day, almost like the second or third day on Meds when the side effects were bad. Is it normal after nearly a month to have really low mood and high anxiety and panic rushes?

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  • Posted

    Hi Stephen

    I remember all too well being where you are now, posting on here about feeling terrible on Citalopram and wondering if I'd ever feel normal again!

    You're still really early days, I remember it taking a good few months to feel 100% myself again, you'll always have the odd day where you feel low - I still do and I've been on them over a year now. But you get used to it and learn to cope and it isn't a problem .... Hang in there (I used to hate it when people said that) but it really is just the medication getting into your system.

    This will all be a distant memory one day smile

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  • Posted

    I'm not certain. I've been on it going on 3/weeks and I still have a very low appitite and feeling sick to my stomach at times. Also still feeling a little bit of anxity. I know I have to give it time to work. Everything always takes time. Sometimes I'm not a ppatient person.
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  • Posted

    Hi Stephen,  Don't get discouraged!  Yes, it does take time, and quite normal.  It takes time to get fully into your system.  I've been on it for 3 years now, and still will have a bad day here and there, and that too is normal.  At least now I know what to do, to calm mysef down, and I am not saying it is easy, but it gets "easier" when we understand whats happening.  This may sound goofy to you, but my dog makes me happy, and calms me down, I take him for a walk, and just play ball with him for even a few minutes, and to see how happy it makes him, and to see the goofy grin on his face, calms me right down.  He always makes me laugh!!  By the time I get back home, I am feeling much better.  If you don't have a dog, just a short 10-15 minute walk, can take the edge off.  Put some ear phones in, with some of your favorite music...it's all those little things that help knock some of the edges off little by little.  If going outside makes your anxiety worse, go to a room by yourself, and try the earphones and music, and just try breathing in and out slowly, listen to the music until it passes.  Or just try to make yourself do something you enjoy, don't make yourself do something you don't like when you are like that, that just makes it worse!  I learned that!  People tell you, oh just go, once you are there, you will enjoy it...nope, not always!!!  You WILL be ok, and you WILL get through it!!  And remember, we are here for you!!  Good luck Dear!!  Hang in there!!
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    • Posted

      I use walking as my get away. Even though I have kids that have to tag along with me on my walks I still use that time to just breathe in the fresh air and think and do my best to distress while om walking so I'm calm once I get back home. I'm one of those people who does not like to be left alone. More so now then before but I'm slowly working over that himp being on my meds trying to keep a positive out look on the whole situation.
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    • Posted

      It sounds like you are doing all the right things to work it out!  It does get better...just know that.  And how can you not smile when one has their children with them!  That's a special time they have with you, one memory they will cherish having with you!  I remember going on wonderful walks with my grandpa!  Him teaching me fun things along the way...he's been gone many years now, but those memories I will keep with me until I see him one day when my time is up on this earth!  What a joyous day that will be!!  Keep up the good work!!
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  • Posted

    Hey stephen my moods been really low today to in fact i spent some of the morning crying thinking im never gonna feel like me again!! So dont feel discouraged tomorrows another day closer until we r us again hopefully!
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  • Posted

    Stephen, its normal best thing is to let go and try and relax, treat it as a one off thing! I had nothing for months and then one afternoon bang!!!! started having dark thoughs like the black dog feeling and that night started having a mean anxiety attack and as soon after I just programmed myself into remembering what everyone said "its just a setback I'll be ok"" and even slept ok that night  and moved on nothing since..... 
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  • Posted

    Thank you all for your reassuring words and encouragement. I actually slept ok last night and managed to read a bit before falling asleep. I have woke up to that dreaded high anxiety state but I'm trying not to fight it and accept this is how it is just now. Just reading what you all say helps with the worrying doubtful thoughts that can creep in. Thank you all again.
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  • Posted

    Hi Stephen

    Recovery often comes in waves so after you start feeling well it's quite normal to get these blips along the way.  Just go with it, let it be there and understand its part of recovery.  It'll pass.  You may get lots of these along the way, but they decrease in intensity over time until they finally cease to happen.

    So expect to feel up and down for a while.

    K x

     

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    • Posted

      Brilliant!! 😄❤️  I knew it would come right in the end.  You sound quite well 😊  You can't see the end result when you're feeling ill and you just can't believe you'll ever feel normal again.  I've seen this illness and recovery on these meds follow a similar pattern so many times so know it'll happen for people eventually.

      K x

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    • Posted

      😊❤️  Its great seeing people recover when they've felt so ill.  Been there myself and I never thought I'd recover.  These meds do seem to follow the same pattern for most people.

      K x

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    • Posted

      Kate id b interested if you dont mind to know a bit abt ur cit story! We r all struggling a bit just now and feel like u said we'll never get better... I suppose we r looking for inspiration how long did it take for you to feel improvements then how long till u felt really well?
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    • Posted

      Hi weenett

      I started taking SSRI's back in 1997 after suffering with anxiety and depression on and off for around 15 years.  Medication and therapy had little effect until I was put onto these type of meds.  Within 3-4 months I started recovering and completely better by 6 months.  Citalopram is my 3rd type of meds, the first one didn't agree with me and the second one was discontinued.  All have worked well.  I've stayed well ever since and still take a small dose today.  I came off them about 2 years ago and took a natural SSRI bought over the counter (5-HTP and l-tyrosine) and was well for a year.  My 20 year old son had a melt down 2 years ago and went onto Fluoxetine (another SSRI) and he went through hell ..... so I restarted Citalopram as the stress began to make me feel ill again.  Second time on these meds it took longer for them to kick in, but I'm back to being completely recovered again.  My son is also now completely back to his normal self again and it took around 9 months for him.

      Watching him suffer was terribly painful and I saw a very similar pattern in his recovery as I'd gone through, and also see it on this site with many people.

      When I was ill I never thought I'd get better.  You lose sight of how it feels to be normal as the illness engulfs you.  You become trapped in a cycle of anxiety - depression - negative thinking - anxiety and so on, each feeding off the other.  You can't see an end to it.  These meds slowly break that cycle, and as the anxiety eases, so does the depression and the negative thinking becomes positive.  It takes much time for this to happen, and along the route to recovery your mood is often up and down.  You start feeling well only for it all to come rushing back time after time.  This is normal and treat them as blips - they'll pass.  Over time these blips get easier and less intense until they finally no logger happen.

      Early morning anxiety was the last symptom to disappear for me.  Waking and feeling awful isn't usually an indication of how the rest of the day will pan out - my anxiety used to ease over the course of the day and I'd feel well in the evening ....... only to wake again the next day full of anxiety.

      It often takes a long time to become ill, and so it'll take a long time to reverse it and recover.  Recovery is often so slow you hardly notice it, but you just have to keep going through it all, and you'll find it will happen.

      Everyone takes different times to recover.  The meds aren't a quick fix, but they will work and you will get back to feeling well again.  Just keep taking the meds and stay on one dose for a long time as you don't know if that dose will work until you've given it a long time.  Increasing your dose won't bring Recovery to you any quicker - it'll take as long as it wants.

      K x 

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    • Posted

      Hi Katecogs, I don't think you you know how much you really help people. I actually feel I have a mentor on this journey and I'm not alone ( a bit like a Mr Mayagi in Karate Kid ) we have Katecogs :-) Seriously at times of doubt and worry for me you have replied with your honesty and wisdom of your journey and experience. I want to genuinely thank you for this. You really have been a huge help for me personally and from what I read there are many others also. Thank you.x
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    • Posted

      Thanks Stephen - that's very kind 😄❤️  Yes I know Mr Mayagi haha!

      I wish there had been a site like this when I had been ill - what a difference it would have made!  The Internet wasn't even about in 1979 when it first hit me.  I thought I was THE only person to feel like it and I lost many years trying to battle with it.  When I eventually recovered on the meds it was like someone had switched the lights back on again.  When my son became ill with the same many years after I was well, I saw the same pattern I'd gone through with the illness plus the same journey on the meds too.  I came on here to share stories and saw how many people were struggling with exactly the same.

      Its such a dreadful illness, and one you can't explain to anyone properly, because the experience is far, far worse than any words can describe.  The meds are amazing for so many of us, but they're tough to take.  Done properly though, they will see you through to clear waters in the end.  I just wish doctors would get a little more understanding about them - it would save a lot of confusion for so many people.

      So, grasshopper ...... 🐜 

      K x

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    • Posted

      Can you catch a fly with chopsticks? That's the real question. 😀 I had my first experience aged 12 which began with panic attacks and I've struggled on and off through the years with 3 real crashes becoming nervously I'll which lasted some years each time. (I'm 41 now), I've always tried to come through without medication but this last time i couldn't bear to think of being in this nightmare again without something to help. It still took much persuading to go on the 10mg but I really felt I needed help this time. Your wisdom has been really reassuring for me and to give time to answer many of the questions on this forum speaks volumes for the type of person you are. Sincerely thank you for that.

      Right I'm off to catch a fly with a knife and fork.😀

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    • Posted

      BANZAI !!! You rock Katecogs!!! and its a shame the internet wasnt around when it first haunted you I feel really bad hearing that. Maybe you were put on this earth to help us become a saviour by default? xx 
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    • Posted

      Ah, maybe not ..... but my excuse is that I'm vegetarian 😄

      12 years old is young to feel panic ......... do you find stress leads up to the crashes?  Medication is there to help and often struggling on without it leads to being more deeply entrenched in it.  People who have diabetes, epilepsy or other illnessess need medication ... this illness is no different.

      I wish these meds were available when I was first ill in 1979.  Maybe they were, but I wasn't offered them.  I took a regular tricyclic anti depressant - but it didn't even touch the anxiety.  I read lots about this illness and was pretty taken with books by Dr Claire Weeks.  Her explanation and method was so easy to understand, and it took a lot of the mystery out of the illness for me.  In all the years I was ill, I told nobody, except my husband.  It wasn't something people talked about, and I didn't want to be labelled a nutter 😜  Now I talk about it, it's surprising how many people around me have had similar!  

      Thanks for your kind words again ☺️❤️

      Enjoy the fly ..... must be yoga and meditation time for me ....... hommmm

       

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    • Posted

      Thanks Stevo 😊  I always felt a group to chat to all those years ago, even in person, would have been so comforting ... but there was nothing.  The Internet has opened up a whole new world for lots of people now.  Am only too glad to help anyone who's starting out on their journey ...... I just wish doctors gave out a bit more info to people.
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    • Posted

      Ah the great Dr Weekes, I have everything she ever produced and still use her stuff today. I think if the right support and treatment had been available when I was very young I may have learned to cope better but the fact was I became very afraid of the experiences I was having. Imagine a young teenager having panic attacks, depersonalisation and intrusive thoughts etc.....it scared the proverbial out of me and thus I believe I developed a high state of generalised anxiety which every so often becomes unmanageable and triggers the illness. I thank goodness for the great Claire W as this was the first time I got the complete picture of what happens to me. Anyway it's good to know I'm not the only person who has these experiences although I wouldn't wish them on anyone but I create them so therefore believe the solution is within also. Thanks as always for your support Katecogs. X
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    • Posted

      I have all her books too and still dip into them at times now 😊.  I was like you - I had my first panic attack aged 20 after some prolonged stress, and it also led me to feeling depersonalised and was plagued with intrusive thoughts.  Yes, very scary indeed!  I felt the books explained it in a very easy way, unlike doctors and therapists I saw who confused me.  I also think if I'd had the right support and treatment too my illness wouldn't have dragged on as long as it did.

      My son had a melt down when he was 20 - nearly 2 years ago now.  It was the most dreadful thing to see and it was exactly how I'd been.  It felt worse watching him than it had been suffering from it.  We nursed him back to health, spent many hours talking and he is also on SSRI's.  9 months later he was back to his happy self again - I remember the first time I heard him whistling again - made me really smile.  I'm kind of glad I had experienced this illness now as I was able to help my son.  I'm glad he got treated quickly.

      Yes it is good to know we aren't the only ones.  It's something you can't fully explain to someone who's never had it as the experience is far worse than its actual description.

      K xx

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    • Posted

      Yeah who would have thought the internet could save us wink I think if I hadnt had found this site well I dont want to think really you and David gave me hope which was the most important thing as that equipped me with the will to survive ? xx
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