need help

I don't know if that is an option for me I am the care provider for my two kids (both under 5). Plus I'm scared I might jeopardize the custody of my kids or be harassed from a social worker.. This is the first time in my life I expose myself in this manner seeking heqlp.. if it worked for u I will take in consideration.. 

So is what UR doing now working for u?

i get so angry with attitudes like ure. U beg for help then deny the help..

it's so giving into UR cravings and the fear literally of not having access to alcohol.

u know u cannot control the cravings so how r u doing with self help programs in the past?

 

Congrats on your successful period of sobriety Joetess

That is the best way yet. In patient treatment has a higher success rate than most others. It's untra inning the mind from sabatiging UR will to

stop drinking.. 

Great way to go thanks for sharing. Congratulations Joe on UR one year of sobriety. U have fought for a better place every day and u deserve a better life..

 

Why the anger?  That bit I just don't understand.

When you're an alcoholic,   you know the obvious.   Our internal voices keep reminding us - we honestly don't need to hear it another 30 different times.    

But more to the point,   how is that helping?    It doesn't.    

My background is in pharma.  and clinical trials and we noticed over and over,  year after year,   quitting will ONLY work if the desire comes from the person himself.     Sure,  it's a current trend to stage an invertention but the only way we can get to long term sobriety is when we each decide.    

Piling on the guilt and anger only serves to push the alcoholic back into their own way of doing things.

 

Thank you most kindly

I'm not going to lie - it has SUCKED so bad at times.     But that's where we are now.     One little baby step after the other.

I think what happened with me was a bit different.    First was the pancreatitis (and oh dear Lord that hurt)....and then it was acute (on top of chronic) hepatitis.    Unfortunately (for me),   the pain was then and still is a big problem.    Because I initially presented encephalitis,  we had to exclude anything that provided more-than-usual sedation.    No pain meds for me.   It also meant removing the benzo (for anxiety and withdrawal),     

So not a fun time for any of us.    But here I am.    Varices are under control,  portal hypertension is at least stable for now.    

And to finish on a somewhat funny note... I'm also diabetic and hypothyroid.    Can you imagine my dietary guidelines?!   Shocking it is.   

You have certainly had a tough time of it Joetess and done amazingly well considering you couldn't use benzodaizepines to detox. I have Type 1 diabetes too and don't consider that much more than an inconvenience (I am lucky to be able to control it well).

You seem to be a walking exhibition of longterm alcohol misuse symptoms. I'm glad you are managing them all as well as you are, keep fighting, you are proof that it CAN be done even when serious damage has been done. You should probably work with people who drink too much, raising their awareness of what can happen.

Sense of humour,  Paul  :D    That's what keeps us all going.   We're all mad here

I was forced to stop drinking a year ago because of a dui I received... I used to smoke weed but stopped at 18 I like red bull hiigh, coke anything that kept me moving ... got sick so my body rejected the drugs witch was weird.. every time I would try to take some I would trow up.. but anyhow I only drank for 20 yrs to 23yrs a lot even at work.. When I stopped drinking I did not feel anything or I don't think I did, I was too busy smoking till I forgot about the drinking..I can tell u this I have not missed a day without smoking before and after work.. Once again before I sleep... if i dont get weed i start to get axious.. tend to find flaws on the people around me. I can become a nervous wreck If I miss a session .. but now with liquor making a comeback im afraid im going to loose everything.. once i drink i wont stop and ill keep looking till i pass out.. This might give u some kind of idea who I am now.. I don't know if me opening up might help me, it somewhat makes me feel less stressed but that's till I stop writing... my family doesn't see this as a medical condition, they expect me.to act a certain way when I can't mental or physically.. my ears are open what's my next step ?

paul you sound a very sensible person i have been in recovery now for nearly 3yrs, you have taken the words i was going to say to salp out of my mouth good luck

Sal, it sounds to me like you suffer from anxiety and, rather than using harmful substances to deal with the symptoms yourself, you should see a doctor who may be able to give you some medication to help and maybe a counsellor who does anxiety management.

You can't treat it on your own with alcohol/cannabis but do a Google search on 'anxiety management self help' and you may find some resources to help you including methods of relaxation.

It may be that the drinking and smoking has led to the anxiety issue, but the treatments would be much the same anyway.

It is certainly better that you are opening up about the issues than masking them with drink or drugs.

Congrats on the long period of abstinence al5aph49 And thanks for the positive comment

Getting the brain out of the craving mode is by residential treatment is the only way for most. 

 

Al...

big hugs and congratulations to u and UR family. 

I can't accept that one way works for all Hope There are many different types of people and many different ways to deal with an acohol problem. I agree that the treatment of craving is important but there are many different ways that suit different people

thank you so much, still working hard but i now have a life again 

Thanks for the advise I'm thinking of starting a "break" from everything and try to focus on getting away.. from both cannibas and alcohol. I'm thinking of making a doctors apt can this affect me in any way. (Work, social service, etc) I feel I can stop but I have to separate from everyone I know. This actually helps I mean the chat interaction. I have not spoken to anyone about this. 

Ok Paul let's discuss all the different ways.. Drug support like Antiabuse.. And many more...out patient support.. Daily check in over nite and drug test ner fore entering ...Family support.. In house residential .24/7. Drug testing if UR in a work release program..  Counseling thru them all. 12 step programs. Undo the old life behaviors relearn behaviors believe in UR self..

many more...so to personalize any technique for a patient which one if UR experience has a better success rate?

HOPE

Hi Paul, hope you are well.

As I am very sure that you are aware of how dangerous the antabuse treatment is, not only do you have to know exactly what to avoid, such as spray deodorant, certain toothpaste, hand gel and a wide range of products you must not use, but you have to be absolutely!!!!! Certain that you will not drink as even the smallest amount will make you violently ill and more could and would kill you.   I have met many alcoholics,,, who became good friends and there was only one person prescribed it that I 

Knew of in ten years of knowing them all well.   Psychiatrists are very, very wary and extremely cautious in who they prescribe it to as a treatment! It really is a kill or cure..... 

Best wishes  and my regards to you x Deirdre

Yes Deirdre, I am combining my replies to you and Hope here. Antabuse is extremely dangerous and I don't agree with its use. I have rarely seen it work. I worked with a girl in an inpatient unit once and she knew that she could not drink while on antabuse. She was re-admitted to the unit after stopping antabuse for a week (as she knew she must) so that she could get drunk on her 21st birthday!! That is a typical example of the antabuse being like a critical parent watching over a person until they somehow manage to escape it and revert to old behaviours. It doesn't deal with the root of the problem at all.

Just on the different methods, Hope, there are different approaches for different people. Sal said above that he has a problem doing rehab because s/he can't get the time off work (sorry Sal, but you haven't given any indication, that I can see of whether you are male or female . S/he can't afford to lose the income because of the children. S/he is also worried about the involvement of social services who s/he fears may decide that s/he is not up to the job of looking after the children.

That fear alone is likely to mean an increase in the anxiety already being felt. It is therefore essential that S/he recognises the problem now BEFORE the job, the home and possibly the children are lost.  You must know Sal, that that is a real risk if you delay dealing with this problem, don't let it get to a point where all you have left is the bottle!!

So, in Sal's case, a solution has to be found where the risks to job, home and children are minimised. There are home treatment programmes where a simple detox and some counselling may be a good kick start to dealing with the problem. The anxiety obviously needs to be dealt with as I said above.

There are those who have a serious problem with AA and the 12 step method. Some because they don't believe in a 'higher-being' others because it simply is not their think to stand up and talk to a group about all their innermost feelings. There are some who would say 'that is tough, you have to do it or there is no solution, but I feel that forcing a person to go against their natural instincts is a negative thing to do and could result in a very quick relapse.

One to one counselling can help some people, some just need to talk to a person who is able to help them change the way they thing. Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) is one of these methods.

Others may need to deal with past experiences in their life more positively rather than masking those memories with alcohol. That could be done with any number of different therapies.

Others just got into a bad habit and ended up drinking too much and then found themselves dependent, they may only need to review their behaviour now they know the risks.

I could go on forever listing the possible treatments but my message is that there is not a 'one size fits all' treatment for alcohol dependence or habitual bingeing because the reasons that people have these problems are so varied.

I don't believe that one method is more successful than any others. It is about getting the approriate choice to fit the person's needs

The bottom line is the need to quit. I'm not disputing techniques at all . 

But again it cannot be forced.  

The only reason I was hospitalized for those 2 weeks was because I was in acute hepatitis mode with a *ton*  of side-effects. 

Don't even get me started on the joy that is Lactulose  :D

No one here is forcing anyone into submission. That is quite a leap and quite frankly annoying.

lets get real ...that's it ....that's my reality that's the reality of a alcoholic. It's not a pretty picture. It's ugly. Harsh and cruel. How far do the realities of alcoholics go is never a choice . The mind of an alcoholoc has no control over addiction. Until the day comes that they r serious about finding sobriety 

that is the first day of their life . Isn't that what it all about?

 

AND UR ANSWER IS WHAT ITS ALL ABOUT.!

peace, luv & Laughter

HOPE4CURE

I never brought up different techniques and methods for alcoholics in treatment. Only rehab residential period. It was a subject brought up by someone else. I was using antiabuse as a example as the many ways that alcohol treatments have come up with techniques for each individual as some othe techniques were explored to specialize treatment for the individuals needs. That's was all example only. My son tried  it made him deathly ill if he drank .. Did it make him sober enough to understand treatment.. No.. But it was tried along with so many other drugs that he is now dependent on.

this is not a game of who's got the wisest solution for alcoholics.,

this is the ugly truth . This is what we all agree is a horrible disease. 

There is not much we a individuals can do to encourage anyone to stop drinking or go into rehab or make any attacks on anyone. It's simply a truth, thru my experiences. This is my truth and in some cases the truth for many alcoholics on the streets. 

They r treated like dogs on the streets by society and the legal,community.

i have seen stray dogs taken off the streets get medical attention food and a warm place to sleep. The  alcoholic is kicky to be sbused by police and a warm place in jail.

 

You seem to find a few things immensely annoying.    Hope,  I get where you're coming from.     But as a recovering alcoholic,   I just see you missing the bullseye.      Your intent is pure,  and that's a good thing.   But if you truly want to help,   the delivery needs a bit of work.

 

Awesome - stay with it    

I accept UR criticism it's ok . Thanks for the feedback

 

thank you very much, hope you do aswell good luck