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Need help to quit a 2 bottle of wine per night 'habit'/problem

Posted , 10 users are following.

Daisymay23
Daisymay23

Hey everyone smile I just came across this website and I'm very happy to have found it!  I will attempt to keep this short.  I am a 43 year old woman, single, live alone, and suffered a brain injury 5 1/2 years ago.  This resulted in a new found severe panic disorder, agoraphobia, and situation adjustment disorder, as well as the regular pressure headaches, vertigo, insomnia, etc.. that are par for the course.  During this time, my doc prescribed me a TONNE of medication. It wasn't until my pharmacist informed of the addictive properties of the benzodiazepines that I was being prescribed, and learning that what I was going through was panic, I decided to get off all the medication cold turkey...I went crazy for a month after that.   Okay, all that to get to the problem.   The only thing that really helped with the headaches, sleep, and panic was wine.  Although I had been a wine drinker prior to, I never consumed more than a bottle on any given night (except for some weekends), and would suffer crazy hangovers if I had a bottle on a work day. I was off of work for two years following the accident, and during that time my wine habit increased from less than a bottle to two bottles a day.  It has now been approximately 3 1/2 years of two bottles per day, and I'd say about 10 years of daily drinking, on average consuming approximately 1/2 to 1 bottle.  I am now back at work (3 years), I love my job, I no longer experience daily ongoing panic, and I am really happy about where I am in my life.  The issue however, is that I am petrified of quitting cold turkey and the severity of the effects. I have been vigilent in cutting down, and I'm averaging about 1 1/2 bottles (although some days more) without any serious effects other than some night sweats on some days. I never crave a drink during the day, and usually start around 5pm.  I have Diazepam, Clonazepam, and Ativan (all 5 years old) in my 'emergency kit' from the days of panic, but even then I wouldn't take them and opted for 5 hours of guided meditation to get me through the day until I could have some wine which would calm me right down. Sorry, I've ran a little long...basically what I am looking for is some help.  I want to quit drinking!  I'm scared, and after spending a month last year looking at detox and rehab facilities, I really can't afford to go. Is it possible to quit at home?  Any help anyone can provide on this forum would be greatly appreciated.  Thank you in advance smile

By the way, yes, I talked about this with my GP last year...I was really proud because I had decreased my consumption to 3/4 -1 bottle daily.  She yelled at me, told me I was an alcoholic, said I shouldn't even bother trying to quit and she couldn't help me unless I went to rehab. I haven't seen her since....and honestly, after such a good run, I think I went home that day and drank more than 2 bottles. So, the GP is out.

 

1 like, 29 replies

29 Replies

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  • harriet67221
    harriet67221 Daisymay23

    Posted

    Hi I was wondering how much benzodiapepine you were taking and how you got off them .

    ALCOHOIL

    I am so pleased that you are giving up drinking. It is terrific news. The dr who said those things is out of order. A dr is supposed to support a patient not make them feel worse or unsupported. Try to put her out of your mind.

    Have you considered Al Anon? I believe they do online sessions as well as regular meetings.

    They have a 12 step programme I believe. Other than that you need to reduce your intake but safely. AL anon can advise you I am sure. I would also try a different dr despite your negative experience why let one dr put you off? You will definitely start to see an improvement in your health but need medical advice and support to help you in the initial stages.

    Good luck.

     

    • Daisymay23
      Daisymay23 harriet67221

      Posted

      Hi Harriet,

      Regarding the Benzo's, I was on Ativan for just over a month.  My doc. told me to take it whenever I felt I needed it.  As I thought it was for blood pressure I was taking 2, 2mg tablets/day, and wine.  I was on it for just over a month.  When the pharmacist gave me the clonazepam and explained to me what these pills were, I took one, realized that I could certainly get hooked and stopped taking everything then and there.  I went crazy for a month, and actually went to the hospital with a packed bag to be admitted...and they sent me home.  I don't think I was on it for long enough to go through the really scary withdrawals, but had I followed the doctors orders and taken my prescribed 2 50mg Clonazepams and Ativan whenever I felt necessary per day, I certainly would have landed myself in multiple addictions. Thank goodness for a knowledgeable pharmacist who cares for his patients, unlike the doctors. 

      I have heard of Al Anon, but I thought they were for family members?  I went to a few AA meetings in the States this summer, I enjoyed them, but I don't think it is for me.  There was a lot of focus on the negative aspects, and not a lot of focus on how to move on and make things better. 

      Thanks so much for your post smile

  • gwen45436
    gwen45436 Daisymay23

    Posted

    Hi, disgraceful behaviour of your doctor.  I would never consider cold turkey.  I dropped from 2 bottles of wine a day to 2 units.  I did it slowly over several months.  I still do it now, but sometimes mess up.  But now find it much easier to re-start back to my 2 units.  I keep it in check by buying one of the small bottles of wine a day instead of large bottles.  It has worked for me.  My doc could not give me anything and referred me to Smart recovery which I did not go to.  I wanted to do it alone.  It can be done and you will get massive support on here.  You are not alone so take heart.

    G.

    • Daisymay23
      Daisymay23 gwen45436

      Posted

      Hey Gwen,

      You said you tapered down over some months, did you do it by one glass a day?  Or a quarter of a bottle at a time?  Do you find you are able to go some days abstinent now that you are at 2 units?  Withdrawal symptoms?

      Thanks so much,

      Mel  

    • sportyfiftysix
      sportyfiftysix Daisymay23

      Posted

      Dear Daisy,

      I used to drink a litre of red wine daily and then I decided no more. Got Naltroxene and kept on drinking the normal way. From the beginning it worked. Initially, I had only half a bottle, then I went to 3/4 again then a full bottle. I got disappointed in myself, but then I read it up some more and it is completely normal too drink more for a while and it takes some months to de-addict you. Just keep on taking the pill. Last night I had only half a bottle.

      It took years to addict us, so the brain also needs some time now to de-addict. Just don't give up hope. It does work as long as you take the pill. It does feel at times that it does not take the cravings away, but it will. Just be patient.

      Good luck,

      CK

       

    • gwen45436
      gwen45436 Daisymay23

      Posted

      Hi Mel, when I first did it - I dropped 50% in one go for a few days and it was too much.  I felt weir and a bit disorientated - I even got lost near my home after I had walked to have a session with a Kinesiologist - she only lives 10 mins walk from me but I kept going down the wrong roads!!!!!!!  And I have lived here for 40 years !!!!

      So I upped it and then reduced by 2 units every couple of days - this was so much better and I took it slowly over some months until I was down to 2 units of wine from Monday to Friday. Saturday and Sunday I still had a bottle each night in order to sleep, otherwise it is 7 days with just a couple of hours sleep a night.  But I really enjoy only having the 2 units and not feeling disgusted in the morning that I have failed again that I want to take it into the weekend also.  I have been doing Saturday also on 2 units and leaving just Sunday with a bottle that I sip from my Sunday lunch until evening.  Then I sleep for a good few hours (sheer bliss).  I would like to bring Sunday to 2 units as well as it does give me a real kick to know my body is not swimming with alcohol every single day and that the food I am eating is actually doing me good because it is not being ripped apart from dam alcohol smile.  I did not think I could do it but have with the encouragement of these guys on here.

      I have to be honest though and say I have not had any abstinent days as I am really nervous to have zilch alcohol in my body as I have drank for sooooo many years daily.  But that is what I am aiming at.

      How did we get to 2 bottles of wine a day?    Uggh - but I am winning and with baby adjustment gradually, so as not to shock your system, it is more than possible. 

      Gwen

    • Daisymay23
      Daisymay23 sportyfiftysix

      Posted

      Hey CK,

      Thanks for the great words of advice smile Yes, it has been years in the making, right!  How I could ever assume a few months and I could be free, well that is kind of foolish smile I'm going to make an apt. with the same GP I haven't seen in a year, and will ask for Naltrexone. If I have problems, well then that is it, we are divorced!  I've been looking at this method for over a year, and now is the time to do it smile 

      Thanks,

      Mel smile

    • Daisymay23
      Daisymay23 gwen45436

      Posted

      Hey Gwen smile 

      Thanks for that, your goals are my same goals!!  I actually day dream of being a kid and going to bed with nothing in my system other than milk, feeling the best ever in my bed, and just nodding off to sleep....where does that go?  At what point do we lose this precious moment in our lives and instead of nodding off have to create a pass out situation to avoid the many benefits of falling asleep naturally, by our own bio-rhythms?  I miss it extremely!!!! How did we get to two bottles of wine a day?  Your guess is as good as mine....tolerance I guess smile I drink a LOT of water (I mean at least a gallon a day), and I still eat, yet the only time I really pee is when I've had some wine?  That is kind of scary!  I've just dumped litres of water down into my body, and only end up with a squirt, but pour one glass of wine in and it is Niagara Falls...therefore, kind of worried about my liver and kidney functions?

      I have another one to add, but will add it to the discussion, as it seems interesting to me.  It is regarding my lack of alcohol yesterday, and my consumption tonight?????  

      Thanks, Mel smile

       

  • karen36196
    karen36196 Daisymay23

    Posted

    I had tablets didn't work because they didn't take away the craving for alcohol I truly believe rehab is the only option but having said that been there now 8 yes on thought I could handle it no such thing x

    • harriet67221
      harriet67221 karen36196

      Posted

      Hi I think it varies and depends on the individual. Wanting to abstain is half the battle. \It can be achieved thru a variety of methods but basically it is about will power and for some support and positive thinking that alcohol is bad for the body. It is a toxin and it does not make sense to poison oneself and pay the price literally in the process. Alcohol I dressed up in fancy bottles etc and coloured to make it look attractive . At the end of the day it is ethanol a toxic substance. 

      People age internally due to alcohol.

  • Daisymay23
    Daisymay23

    Posted

    Hey everyone, thanks for the awesome and helpful responses!!!!  I'm surely taking away some advice from all of them.  Here is a question for you....Yesterday was Family Day here in Ontario.  I had a half of a bottle left of red wine...that was it for the wine in my house!  I did have a couple of tall boys in the fridge, which have been there for a couple of months.  So, none of the LCBO's or grocery stores were open to sell wine....although not anxiety ridden, as I also had other alcohol in the house...and I knew I had options...I think this was a true alcoholic moment in my life.  I did not have enough wine!!!!  I personally don't like alot of other alcohol, but was willing to drink it is necessary.  I didn't, I had the 2 tall boys and sipped really slowly the red wine.  I even had some non-alcoholic red wine, which is disgusting.  In any case, here I am now.  I had a shower, two beers (or better yet three since they were tall boys) and less than half a bottle of red.  I slept great, with usual nightmares, and new night sweats, but woke up feeling great. Tired at parts of the day, no shakes though.   Now for tonight...I bought a box of white, and I'm pretty sure I've already gone through a bottle.  I felt AMAZING  this morning, I woke up early, did not even equal a bottle of wine in drinking last night, but it seems like all that amazing feeling wants to self sabotage and make me feel like crap tomorrow!  I know self-sabotage is par for the course for myself, but does anyone else go through it?  It's like the better I feel, the worse I want to make myself feel?   

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