Need to find the truth

Posted , 7 users are following.

I have been in a relationship for 2yrs and the whole time he's said he was a landlord and has many apartments. He never gets calls or has any contact with tenants. He leaves for up to 1 hrs everyday to go to the bank. I have looked at listing for property owners in town yet have not found him on any lists. He also says he has a large inheritance from his mother passing. He was adopted at 2 and says his brother is keeping it tied up in court so he can't touch it. How do find out the truth? I know he's keeping things from me but I don't understand why

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  • Posted

    Very strange...I know this is hard...but DEMAND answers now before you get deeper into this relationship.

    So does he go to work everyday?

    What does he do daily?

     

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    • Posted

      Sorry I am new to this. I read your suggestions I have tried all of that. Gone to the bank but he meets a manager to discuss deposits and make sure tenants checks have cleared before making a withdrawal. He has answers for everything. I think his ex deals with it all and he just collects his share. They were together for about 13yrs.
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  • Posted

    There are a number of web sites where for little money you can secretly check anyone's background.

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  • Posted

    Run away now and don't look back!

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  • Posted

    Run for the hills, Tia.

    Don't waste time trying to find things out.

    Just leave. He sounds like an arch manipulator and you're his stooge.

    Get away!!   NOW

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    • Posted

      Considering I don't work and he takes care of me how am I a stooge? You read one small comment and decide to respond by insulting me and pretending to what be a professional psychologist who can diagnose a person with no character info.

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  • Posted

    In fact, without having met him, he sounds like a psychopath.

    They can be very charming but your best interests are not their goal.

    They think ONLY of themselves.

    Come on, Tia! Who goes to the bank every single day?

    Why don't you go with him and see what he says when you suggest it.

    Or, on second thoughts, just pack and run, darling.

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    • Posted

      That's the thing he supports us. He just went back to work. He sells timeshare he makes alot of money. He comes home with money every time and it's in a bank envelope so there's no question that he does go to the bank but where the money comes from is the question. How you think he's a psychopath for going to the bank is beyond me. No where in my comment did I give any details of his personality.

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    • Posted

      This is all really weird....I would sit down with him and ask him point blank questions and I would keep asking questions until I had ALL my answers.

      Can I ask why you haven't asked to be taken by one of the apartment complexes?  Can I ask if you know who is property managers are?

      property managers are people who are on site for him..checking things...have there ever been any calls for repairs?

      Has he ever complained about specific tenants by name?

      These would be my questions to him.

      Who is your favorite tenant?

      What is your favorite property?

      Have you ever had to evict anyone?

      Comments I would say...

      I want to take a ride by your favorite apartment complex this weekend.

      Those should be enough to get a good conversation started.

      if he is lost for words...or stutters...on anything!  GET TOUGH.

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    • Posted

      Tia what answers are you looking for ? Either you want to be with him or you don't ! People are trying to give you good advice but you don't want to hear it, or is it because he has money ? Leave him as advised by others or stay - up to you !

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    • Posted

      And get moving.

      Tia, I was not trying to insult you.

      You wouldn't be asking a crowd of people you don't know for advice if you felt secure in this relationship.

      And I think you gave enough information in your original post for people to come to their own conclusions.

      Nobody has suggested that you stay and do nothing. Even the people who didn't respond with a 'GET OUT' scenario advised you to find out before you made a decision.

      I'm not a psychologist. Just an Old Lady who is worried about you.

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    • Posted

      I love him! He's a great guy but the financial thing bothers me because I know he hides his financial information for reasons I won't get into but I think he is afraid to tell me the truth because it's complicated. I did a background check and got nothing! I'm not superficial and could care less how much money he has. We do everything together honestly maybe I should let it go when he's ready he will tell me or he won't. It would hurt more to lose him!

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    • Posted

      I am moving...eating fish right now.

      I understand that when people read responses they can be taken the wrong way...already sensitive when we are posting....I think this last post was sweet.

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    • Posted

      Ummmm ....... Just seems like he's hiding something from you, I don't like secrets and you deserve better than this - why won't he just be upfront with you , if he's your partner he should be honest. I know it sounds awful to ask but have you been through his mobile fone ? trouble is when people are secretive it builds mistrust and suspicion - if it was me it would drive me mad and I couldn't live like that with the not knowing what's going on, I'd be looking into everything, it sounds bad but I'd be going through his wallet, fone, car, everything looking for signs as to what he's up too - but be careful , if he doesn't tell you the truth then why and Whats he hiding.

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    • Posted

      To be honest with you I just wouldn't be with someone who hides things from me, lies and is secretive. Love him or not the secrets would finish it for me I'd rather be on my own or find someone I could trust. Life's too short and I just couldn't be bothered ! 

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    • Posted

      The phones are in my name is checked them frequently along with his wallet. I paid for a record check last night and it was a waste of money I already knew everything on it. He doesn't work with his ex I think the properties are in her name or her family. I believe he shares and account with her. He told me in the beginning due to a large amount of money owed to the government in taxes she had things in her name. They froze his account a year ago I know that.

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    • Posted

      All sounds a bit dodgy to me hun, cheques paid into your account ! why's that ? Be careful , is he self employed ? Everything that gets paid into a bank account is traceable and the inland revenue will be aware of it if he's already in trouble, you need to be careful. I certainly wouldn't let anyone have access to my bank account apart from me.

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    • Posted

      He doesn't have access to it the stubs are in his name. He works for a large company. Sells a vacation club. We did something similar a year ago but the company closed after the owner got married. I am so torn I keep telling myself I want the truth but then I don't want it at the same time.

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    • Posted

      You need the truth or it will continue like this im afraid. You need to be careful , love him or not you don't trust him or you wouldn't be here asking advice. I'm afraid hun he sounds dodgy, there's too much going on here - the money, the cash, the cheques going in your account, the secrets, no way would I put up with that - I'd either pack my bags or I'd pack his, what are you scared of ? Do you really need a man like that in your life ? Be a strong woman and decide to find the truth or end it with him for your sake x

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    • Posted

      Take the good advice given here lovely, he's using you for his own gains. None of us here know him but we can all see what's going on - get away from this man as soon as you can before it ends up with you being hurt more than you already are. You seem to be justifying all his actions and not listening to us here , denying the truth hun - up to you but you wanted help so we've all tried our best to give you advice and there's only so much we can do. Good luck and goodnight x

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