1. Community
  2. Mental health
  3. Alcohol Consumption

need to give up

Posted , 14 users are following.

sharon7979
sharon7979

I have tried to stop so many times. Its very hard at home right now with my family, they are all so angry with me. I am terrified that i will lose them. My partner has had enough. My drinking is all we ever seem to talk about, which in a way has made me want to drink more. My daughter and son are also so sad and angry at me. I want so much to be the better person that i hopefully can be, but it really isnt easy. I am going to use this online formum a lot from here on in. I have to give this the best try of my life if that makes sense. Nothing good comes from drinking anymore, i dont even enjoy it. Its a love / hate thing. I wish anyone in the same position as me all the best. Take it a day at a time, i think its the only way. 

2 likes, 74 replies

74 Replies

Next
  • JulieAnne101
    JulieAnne101 sharon7979

    Posted

    Hi Sharon. You sound so like my Husband hon. Stop blaming yourself and tell your family to stop blaming you. ITS NOT YOUR FAULT. You have AUD Alcohol Use Disorder. Your brain has been altered by alcohol. There is help out there, lots if ppl on this forum (and I am sure they will talk to you soon!) are trying TSM The Sinclair Method and are having good results

    Look up 'One Little Pill' by Claudia Christian you can get it on youtube or Amazon. This could be the answer you have been looking for

    You do not say if you have been to see your GP yet

    Keep talking to us. This is a great site there are lots of ppl on here with loads of info and experience

    Kind Regards

    JulieAnne

    • sharon7979
      sharon7979 JulieAnne101

      Posted

      Thank you so much for replying. That helps a lot. Its very hard right now but it has to change. Yes i have seen the doctor and i am going to an addictions unit in a few days to see a counciller. I dont want to be like this anymore but think i have realised that i do need some help, dont think i can do this on my own anymore. I have failed too many times.  Smart step hold online meetings most days so i trying my first one tonight. Thanks so much again.
    • Nat666
      Nat666 sharon7979

      Posted

      Hello Sharon.So pleased to hear you are rrady to do something about your drinking . Take JulieAnne's advice and look at the video One Little pill.Also take a look at the C3 Europe website which explains the Sinclair Method clearly and there is support there too.I am almost 3 months in on this method, my drinking has reduced dramatically over this time and binges and drinking myself into oblivion is already a thing of the past. Like you I was desperate to find a solution.

      Thinking of you hunny, it's not a good place to be right now for you but there is help out there lthough you might have to fight for it a bit.I am still buying my Nalmefene until I can get it prescribed on the NHS..that's where the battle is at the moment .Keep coming back here x

    • JulieAnne101
      JulieAnne101 sharon7979

      Posted

      Hi again Sharon. Don't be surprised if Smart Step ( is this an ARC?) Haven't heard of TSM they have yet to catch up. Lots of us have been to ARC's it would seem that all they know is the AA way

      Good luck with online meeting. Let us know how you get on

      Regards

      JulieAnne

    • vickylou
      vickylou JulieAnne101

      Posted

      JulieAnne

      google smart recovery on the uk site. It's a science based addiction recovery service with online meetings. I'll leave you to judge what you think. It stresses it does not follow the12 step recovery like AA. An interesting point is it states some of the online help workers may not be trained!! I'd be interested to hear your views.

  • Misssy2
    Misssy2 sharon7979

    Posted

    Its hard to stop drinking and even harder with the added pressure of everyone on your case about your drinking.

    It makes total sense that even with all the dissappointment in your family that you want to drink more. In my case and I think many other alcoholics..when there is much pressure, anxiety, dissappointment in us we want to mask our feelings even more..and that makes us drink more.

    I was at this stage you are at when my kids were younger..everyone in the house was mad at me for drinking and I couldn't stop and I didn't stop at that time. I basically said to myself they are going to have to accept me for what I am doing because this is "who I am". 

    I forced down their throats that I was a drinker and I wasn't ready to stop. Then I drank and if they wanted me to go on a road trip or anything (like to the beach)..I remember one day they all wanted to go the beach and I said that is fine and I will go but I am bringing my beer or I'm not going. They accepted that I was drinking...and THEN one day I wanted to stop and I DID. 

    Like someone already said..this is a disorder/condition and you are at a point where it seems to have taken over your life. I would explain to them that it is a condition that is hard to beat and that because of all of their concerns you are really thinking about ways that you can curb or stop your drinking altogether but that it is not going to happen overnight.

    Then you can make appointments with your Drs to show them that you are trying. And hopefully because YOU are not happy with your condition you will eventually come to a point where the decision is yours to try and stop.

    In the meantime of course..they are going to be dissappointed..and it s*cks when we are letting those around us down. But, utlimately this is something a decision that has to come from inside you....I understand what you are going thru.

    • sharon7979
      sharon7979 Misssy2

      Posted

      Thanks for your message. Unlike you however I am a secret drinker. I hidden it in so many places. But got found out most of the time. I am so ashamed. This battle seems to have went on forever. I am glad your in a better place now. Thats what i hope will happen for me. Its make or break time I think. 
    • Misssy2
      Misssy2 sharon7979

      Posted

      Hiding it is so difficult..I have done that as well...but for me usually after about 6 drinks..everyone knows I am drinking...my voice changes...etc..Its just so much work to hide it....
    • JulieAnne101
      JulieAnne101 sharon7979

      Posted

      Not surprised you are a secret drinker, you are being forced into a corner hon. So try not to be ashamed. One day, having AUD will be socially acceptable. At the moment the populace is only aware of AA. As a way to stop. Not everyone can stop in this way.

      I urge you again to listen to Nat666 post as TSM reduces your drinking safely, without the dangers of withdrawal symptoms. Have you actually diaried how many units you are consuming in a day? xx

      Kind Regards

      JulieAnne

      Ps also look up Paul Turners video on youtube. Paul is a practising clinician, he explains how TSM works too xx

    • Nat666
      Nat666 Misssy2

      Posted

      People know don't they , my family knew with me as I was always drunk after a couple of drinks due to that secret stash.I got caught a couple of times too when i was upstairs for a sneaky swig.... I have even hiddenfrom myself when I have been alone.A very cunning condition isn't it

    • sharon7979
      sharon7979 JulieAnne101

      Posted

      All your messages (everyone who replied) have helped so much today. That stupid voice in my head was starting to come up again, surprise surprise. My partner and i have barely spoken all day and the atmosphre is terrible.. Was on you tube earlier and i am going to look at some videos which maybe will help too. I dont if aud will ever become acceptable maybe its a good thing that it isnt if you know what i mean. Its weird though i had eating disorders and had those for the same reasons that i now use to drink but the stigma of being an alcoholic is so very different. Either way though you feel ashamed. 
    • sharon7979
      sharon7979 Nat666

      Posted

      Yes been caught many times. Horrible feeling when your caught but also for the person who has caught you. 
    • Robin2015
      Robin2015 sharon7979

      Posted

      i was like you my family hated me and I had so many hiding places that I forgot them....vodka, cider etc.. all of it..did eventually stop and this forum is GREAT for friends who will not mis judge you!! we have been like you and I certainly have and now 4 years of sober...you are going in the right direction Sharo! Regards Robin
    • JulieAnne101
      JulieAnne101 sharon7979

      Posted

      This smart recovery sounds better than an Alcohol Recovery Centre. Am going to look it up myself. Still learning stuff everyday x
    • sharon7979
      sharon7979 Robin2015

      Posted

      Thanks so much, very hard just right now. How did you find your way out?
    • sharon7979
      sharon7979 JulieAnne101

      Posted

      As far as i know there is an online meeting tonight at 8.30, maybe check it out for yourself. This will be my first one online. Did go to AA but for some reason it didnt seem like the right thing for me. Alhtough we all know it does work for a lot of people
    • JulieAnne101
      JulieAnne101 sharon7979

      Posted

      Hmmn there is some research which suggests AA works for about 5% of ppl who attend, that's not a very good result really. Smart Recovery looks interesting like AA without religion? Hope it works for you if abstinence is your chosen path x

      My hubby is taking Campral at the mo with cbt. Seems to be working thank goodness. I used to rage on at him for drinking, it didn't work he just got more secretive x

      He is still on his journey x

    • sharon7979
      sharon7979 JulieAnne101

      Posted

      I dont know. When i went to the meetings i never really heard that much about religion, maybe rather believing in a God. I am not a massive believer myself and def no religion as such. It comes down to what you personally believe. Ive looked at quite a lot but to be honest this is prob one of the best things ive come across so far. Really mean that. Glad what is working for him is going well. It is so hard for the people who are with those with this prob and even i at this stage do see that. We are all different well done.
    • Nat666
      Nat666 sharon7979

      Posted

      Interesting ..I never knew AA were online , that could change things for me ..I have never thought of AA as religious based but inspite of that I have never really found my higher power
    • Nat666
      Nat666 sharon7979

      Posted

      I had a stark reminder tonight, I was at my sons and we were talking alcohol..He said .'I remember you hiding the Stella in your wardrobe mum ' oops Tonight I was there for a family party but the beautiful difference is/ was ..Yep

      I have had a couple of boring drinks! and am.now home , I am in bed, my head hasn't been down the loo and tomorrow will be another fab day !!

    • JulieAnne101
      JulieAnne101 Nat666

      Posted

      Ain't kids great at bringing us back down to earth?! Love em xx Glad you had a worry free family party, no need to sneak off to the loo for a quick swig and then a rinse of mouthwash. I used think hubby had the cleanest teeth ever 😳 lol xx

    • sharon7979
      sharon7979 Misssy2

      Posted

      Thank you so much for your  support. Im not in a good place rught now but thanks so much anyway

       

    • vickylou
      vickylou Nat666

      Posted

      Hi nat

      i didn't know AA offered online services either, so googled AA online meetings. Go to the UK site and there's a timetable for meetings and an online chat room. It's not for me AA in any way, shape or form, but it 

      could help people who don't want to go in person to a normal meeting

Back to top
Next

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the community to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the community are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the community is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.