Need urgent advice pls

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I’ve was on 40mg Citalopram for 14 years. 4 months ago I started slowly withdrawing and am so pleased to now be on 20mg. I went down 5mg at a time and stayed for 2-3 weeks at each stage, and have been at 20mg for about 6 weeks and doing fine.  For a couple of weeks now I’ve felt a decline.  It started with irritability, mood swings and feeling irrational. For 3-4 days now I’ve sobbed at the slightest thing, I hate my life, I dislike my family, got nothing at all in common with my partner, who is a runner, has own business and doing a degree. I’m doing nothing, I am nothing, so what is the point? I am quite literally just a big old fat burden.  Currently in the woods with my dog which is my happiest place in the world. But I can’t stay here forever. What can I do? Do I have to increase  the dosage? What a failure.

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  • Posted

    Hi Fraggle

    That's how I withdrew from Citalopram too - 5mg each reduction though I stayed on each dose for about 2-3 months, not weeks.  That could still be too quick for your body to cope with.  First I'd say stay where you are re the dose, and if anything increase it back by 5mg.  I always said that if anytime I felt wobbly then I'd stick or increase to the previous dose.  I spent a year withdrawing from 20mg.

    You are not a failure - not at all.  You're just having a wobble.  Its perfectly normal.  Anyone would feel the same too xx.

    Have I ever sent you the link to a book and website that I share with many people?  I found that understanding about anxiety, how it works, why it stays was a huge help for me as it took away the mystery, a lot of the fear and though I needed medication too I've found that coming off meds this understanding has helped greatly.  I can send this to you via private message.

    Though I had no withdrawal effects coming off the meds so slow I did notice I could cry at almost anything (a squashed beetle, someones lost shoe .... for goodness sake) rolleyes

    We actually make ourselves anxious by fearing it, and then we get stuck in a cycle of anxiety / fear / anxiety.  Feeling this decline I imagine your mind has gone into a bit of an overdrive and is beginning to churn up the habit again.

    Were you feeling quite well on the meds before withdrawing?

    K x

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    • Posted

      Hi there, thank you so much for your reply x 

      You haven't told me about a book but I'd love to know about it, as will definitely buy anything that is going to help smile 

      Yes I was very stable on the meds before reducing, I felt really happy in myself, I had 'sparkle'.  That has completely gone which I don't like, I don't feel like me any more.

      Wow you spent a year reducing by 20mg, I think I have definitely gone too fast then!!  Yours was far more sensible I think.. 

      I have an appointment tomorrow with the doctor so will discuss further with them as well, but I do find the help here more supportive from people who really genuinely get it!!

      Thanks so much for talking to me, I really genuinely appreciate it xx

       

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    • Posted

      Ok I'll message you with the link for the book.  I know you'll find it helpful.

      When you're on meds they work on your serotonin, which makes you feel happier, calmer and positive and so the anxiety eases and eventually stops.  When you come off meds its best done slowly to ease your body back down again.  If you start having those feelings again your body instinctively goes into defence mode which can lead into you fearing the return of symptoms and which can then lead you back into the habit.  If you understand whats happening and how to help yourself it will make you feel more positive about it and you won't fear the anxiety returning.

      The book / website explains more - I'll send it to you.

      It is difficult talking to doctors - they do their best, but they are 'general' doctors and many do have interests in a particular field, and its a case of finding one who's interest lies in anxiety / depression etc.

      Yes nobody fully appreciates what this is like unless they've suffered from it.  I completely understand what you're going through.

      K x

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  • Posted

    Hey!!! Firstly, you are not a failure but a very, very strong person to have dealt with this illness for so long. CIT is a great drug for helping us through it but the down side can be coming off it too quickly. So, get in touch with your Doc and if you need to creep the dosage back up again then do.  Now, get 2 books. 'Depression, the curse of the strong'. This will explain why this illness tends to hit happy, strong and loving people more than others. 

    Also get a book called 'The recover letters'.  Brilliant and written by people who have come through the other side.

    Hang in there. You sound like a fantastic person and trust that you will get through this. It is just a blip. Take great care. Mark x

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    • Posted

      Hi Mark,  Thanks so much for your reply. I’m so grateful to be able to chat to you guys and for your support.

      I’m definitely going to look into those books, thank you!  They sound great.

      I’ve been to see my GP today who was really helpful.  Fingers crossed that I have a bit of a plan.

      Thank you ever so much again smile

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    • Posted

      It helps to find a good counsellor or to practice mindfulness each day, even if only for 10 mins. I did a 3 month mindfulness course and it really helped me take control in the hectivity of anxiety. Keep going. You are stronger than you realise. Mark
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  • Posted

    Its a pleasure to respond.  I know it helped me loads when people responded to me hence why I keep an eye on this forum even though I am feeling much better.  You will too. x
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  • Posted

    HI. I agree with everyone’s here. It’s tough isn’t it. 

    Totally agree with Katie you may want to go up 5 mg and stay there a while

    i reduced over a year by 2.5 mg evert 2/3 weeks going back a dose if I felt at all dodgy 

    no side effects as was so slow a withdrawal 

    however mybody needs it. I am back on again. Almost a year

    see. https://patient.info/forums/discuss/success-on-citalopram--581829

    sucess on citalopram.  I wrote that to feedback also any had likewise helped me on the way

    lots of input on there too 

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