Never felt so depressed and anxious

Thanks. I just got blood work done and awaiting the results in hopes that I would be prescribed HRT. I had blood work done at the VA over a yr ago and was found to be in perimenopause but never told til recently. I've been seeing a psychiatrist and been on different meds for 3 yrs and not much helping. I now believe it's all hormonal and hoping to get the help I need

Hi looloo

How are you? A quick question,is the estrogen a gel type you use. I use the patches xx

Hi looloo. Just saw your reply (new to this site) and want to Thank you for advice. This all started in 2013 and not only am I suffering mentally, I can't get anything accomplished at home when before I was a multitasker. I took paroxitinr since 2001 when I lost a pet and doc just put me on it. It always worked well but have tried 3 different antidepressants since and no relief. I'm awaiting results of my latest bloodwork from my gyn and will talk to him about my symptoms. I never knew how debilitating perimenopause could be! I always thought it was menopause which messed women up but not to this extreme. I feel like a different person

Hi Michelle. Still off work with colitis awaiting biopsy results, & results of ct scan & urology appt later this month to see if I have yet another kidney stone. In pain most of the time & having to rely on rest & cocodomol. Not fun. Yes the oestrogel I use is a gel that you rub on your top inner arms or mid inner thighs at night. sinks in/dries in about 3mins then you can put clothes back on. You have to make sure you keep it away from breasts & genitals when you apply, & clean off any body lotion you may have put on early in day or it won't absorb. How are you doing with everything now? xxx

continued.. what's improved for you since the hrt, & what hasn't? xxx

It's awful what uncontrolled hormone levels in peri or meno can do to us isn't it? Before i started the hrt in april, i felt like an alien force had got into my body & brain & taken it over! personality change, ability to multitask gone, just totally out of control of myself. With ad's you do need to give them a fair chance at working by starting with a low dose for 4-6wks, then up to the next dose for 4-6wks before you reach a level that YOU know has control of your symptoms of anxiety/depression by bringing back the real you. Obviously some ad's do not agree with individuals so if you felt much worse or had bad thoughts, you would need to see your doc urgently. Personally from my experience of anxiety/depression & now peri meno, I would either: talk to your doc about trying fluoxetine or trying a low dose/low risk hrt regimen for 3mths(example of my hrt in earlier post) & see if this improves symptoms for you. I still get night sweats (not every night) but it no longer wakes me up, & now my mental symptoms, headaches & irreg bleeding eliminated mostly I am easily able to cope with a few night sweats. Hrt may not eliminate every meno symptom, but if you get the mental ones under control I think it will make you much more able to cope/give less attention to the other symptoms. If your gp isn't very helpful with peri/meno, ask your surgery if they have a specialist meno gp at the surgery(many do), or a meno nurse. They may be more understanding/clued up about hrt/peri/meno etc. My gp said bloodwork is not really helpful for looking at hormones as they fluctuate so often, even within an hour. Hope this helps hun. xxx

Glad I found this site accidentally. I thought i was crazy or mentally ill!! I now see how dibilitating this change can be. Never heard ppl talking about perimenopause, and how bad it is. I always thought it was menopause, and only thought it consisted of hot flashes, not mental illness. I know I'm not crazy because I was always likable but now I don't even want to socialize. I'm calling my gp today and asking about HRT

Hi Loo Loo since taking HRT not depressed any more gone back to working out in the gym 5 days a week not feeling suicidal and eating very healthy. One thing though tummy looks bigger even after all the exercise cardio and weights for strength. But maybe better to live with that rather than all the other stuff. Michelle xxx

Poor you. You do sound positive though. Does your gel work right away or does it take a while to get in your system like the patches? I could be worse. I'm ok,I am learning to live with certain things and accept that I'm not feeling the same as 10 years ago. My problem is I'm not relaxed enough. I do everything in a rush and can't relax. It's become a Habit I know. I've been having cbt sessions.

Me too. I couldn't understand where all my crazy irrational thoughts were coming from. This site has helped me tremendously. I'm a quiet person and don't contribute much but reading all that others experience has been such a good comfort.

I'm glad it's helping. Come on here anytime. We are here for you x

Maisie, are you taking hormones?

I have had suicidal thoughts too and never before?!? Not only do I see a psychiatrist to switch up meds (started Cymbalta), I've been seeing a male counselor for 2 yrs and it doesn't help. I disnt see him a lot but a waste of time although he's very experienced. I began seeing another one prior to him and a waste of time. I have to call my gyn to discuss HRT then hope I don't have to try many befote I find one thst helps

That's great your trying cbt Michelle! Are you having one to one cbt? How do you find it so far? I found myself talking about things i didnt even realise, like going through my life constantly HAVING to feel like i need to please people all the time, work, family, social the lot - which caused me to be stressed & anxious alot of the time!!!(in case i wasn't living upto this). but it was often me striving to live upto this & not always other people expecting it of me. It also taught me to stop a negative thought or worry in its tracks before it escalated. I so hope it helps you as it helped me. And you need to slow down lady!! Try & apply a cbt tecnique: Try & notice when you are rushing/stressing when you are doing something. When you notice it, stop yourself in your tracks for 10 seconds just stop, stand still, breathe normally. If you become aware of when you start to do it-if you keep stopping yourself back down to normal pace again-that too will become habit, & I you will start to naturally relax more-not be so hyper/rushed. Regarding the gel, I didnt notice anything when i first started using it, like when you have half a glass of wine & then feel instantly relaxed ! but changes can be subtle. I just remember noticing about 2wks in, my mental symptoms started to ease noticeably, the headaches disappeared, i started to sleep better. this got better & better with time, & my irreg bleeding for last 2yrs also stopped. With hrt, the gp's are protocol'd to treat peri/meno symptoms as appropriate at the current time, which is why they usually start ladies off on the lowest dose, so if things get worse there is something left up their sleeves to work with, & also the lower the dose, the lower any hrt risks(very small anyway these days compared to when it first came out). I read this on the nhs choices website. Gp's aren't going to treat according to what might or might not happen in 10-20yrs time, they treat according to the "NOW" sypmtoms/problem. After all, many things may or may not happen in the future-eg, hysterectomy, new hrt treatments, so again its the "look at making you better now" attitude applied even in medicine/nhs. I'm glad your depression has got better; I do think if you can get on top of the mental symptoms, like me, it helps you cope more/give less attention to the other symptoms. If you can try the technique i mentioned above when you are rushing/stressing, this will probably help your anxiety too (mention it to your cbt practitioner too-he/she might have some other suggestions). I had an awful dizzy/lightheaded spell last night for about 3hrs, so i just kept still/comfy watching a film, drunk plenty of water, then went to bed & drifted off. Fact is - I didn't ACTUALLY faint, & it seems to have more or less passed this morning. This is one of the symptoms I still get, but have learnt to accept it, & not panic, just don't give it much attention, & allow it to pass. Flamin hormones! Take care hun, good to talk to you, & let me know how you progress with your cbt. xxx

Thanks for your lovely reply. I've had 2 one to one sessions at the moment. Things have come out of it that I hadn't even thought of just like you. I've realised that I am holding my breath during the day. It sounds silly but it's a habit I've learnt from stresses years ago. I know I'm doing it! So obviously I am lightheaded and have face and head tension. I am stopping myself all the time now. When I'm watching TV or even out talking to people I'm doing it. This is causing most of the symptoms I'm sure. The last week I've managed to go out for a jog every other day. I've surprised myself. I've got to concentrate on my breathing now (well not too much). I think too much I was told.

I am wondering if I should swap to progesterone gel instead of the tablets I take. If I switched would the progesterone gel take a while to work or would it take over from the tablets? Thankyou for your advice and I hope you start to soon feel a bit better xx

Your welcome hun. its the oestrogen i take in gel form, the progesterone is capsule form. you could try swapping the oestrogen patches for estrogel for 3mths (like i take) & see if that helps, & continue with the progesterone capsules - are they utrogestan capsules? (this is the micronised form of progesterone that is pure not synthetic & apparently better in helping with peri/meno symptoms. if its not utrogestan capsules you could ask to try them instead of your tablets. It works for me, but everyone is different. Or, you could carry on with the cbt & your current hrt regimen for another month & see if that combination improves things for you overall. xxx

I take utrogestan the same as you. I'm not to bad. I'm going to concentrate on relaxing. Things could be a lot worse. Hrt has helped things. Just palpitations now I have to sort out xxx

The palps may possibly settle more as you get better at relaxing, & not being so hyper/stressed/rushed now you are conscious of it & really trying to address it physically. You mentioned earlier about bigger tummy, I have found I have put on about 4-5lbs since starting the hrt, but I've also been off work sick resting alot (inactivity) , so that could be a factor too - once I am better & back at work it will be interesting to see if it falls off naturally. They do say in peri/meno that body fat often redistributes itself, so if you haven't gained a few pounds, but still feel bigger round the tummy, that could be why. Like you say though Michelle, small price to pay if you feel better than you did. xxx

So i saw my gyn doc who is also an endocrinologist. I was just prescribes progesterone to be started on day 16 for 12 days. I was also given synthroid to be taken daily. Hope this helps!!!

Good luck to you Colleen! Hope it helps you. what did he say about oestrogen? Have you been given any oestrogen hrt too? What is the synthroid - a thyroid med? xx

Hi looloo,

Yes, the synthroid is for the thyroid although my thyroid is normal. I was not put on the oestrogen too, just the progesterone which I don't take until later in the month. Does the oestrogen help? Is this the cream?

I am on the oestrogen gel nightly, plus the utrogestan (progesterone) capsules days 15-26 of every 28day cycle. i don't know which one or if both helped me; all i know is that the combo made me feel better 2-3wks after starting - so logically its probably the combination as i would've started taking the progesterone too by weeks 2-3. i've been on it since april. i wonder why he's given you thyroid meds if your thyroid is normal? i suppose if he's an endocrinologist, he knows what he's doing. if it were me, i would contact him & just ask him to explain: why the synthroid if thyroid normal? why no oestrogen? i like to understand everything myself - the reason for taking meds & what they will do etc. xx

Hi Looloo,

My doc was explaining this to me but he has,a very strong accent, and didn't understand everything. He is very thorough but I wonder why the synthroid daily then the progesterone caps. I also heard him say my progersterone levels were not where they needed to be. His nurses have been there many yrs, and will call to get a clear explanation

let me know how you get on Colleen. I must say, compared to your posts a few weeks ago, you sound likie you are getting stronger in yourself since you have started to get to the bottom of whawhat's causing your symtpomms & misery. you have taken the bull by the horns & been assertive in your progress of seeing the right experts, instead of being fobbed off by your pschyiatrist. I admire your strength & persistence during a difficult time for you. xx

Thank you Looloo. Sometimes we have to be our own doctor and watch out for ourselves. After counseling sessions, many visits with a psychiatrist, and no relief, I began to research perimenopause and founf out myself that this is the problem. You would think that my age would have given the psychiatrist a clue!