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New here, need help!

Posted , 7 users are following.

sarah91870
sarah91870

Hi

My name is Sarah, I am 21 and I'm from the UK..

For the past 2 years I have been suffering from anxiety, to the extreme. 

It all started with a panic attack out of the blue which scared the life out of me and ever since I've been stuck in a cycle of daily anxiety. 

The problems I struggle with are feelings of unreality, intrusive thoughts, extreme panic, to the point where I cry, pace, shake.

I was wondering if this is normal for anxiety? During my panic attacks I feel very unreal, the whole world feels unreal (even though I know it isn't) and I get really scary thoughts about hurting myself. 

I'm having one of those panic attacks now and I am really scared as I am on my own. I absolutely hate being on my own I can't handle it, it seems to turn into an instant panic attack. I get worried I'll get so distessed that I will end up hurting myself or someone close to me. 

I feel very out of control and like I am going mad. Even though I haven't ever lost control. 

Sorry that this is all jumbled and a bit much for a introduction but I'm really struggling today and I need someone to talk to!

Thanks to anyone who reads or replies!

Sarah

 

1 like, 30 replies

30 Replies

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  • jmcg2014
    jmcg2014 sarah91870

    Posted

    hi Sarah, yes these things are all very common with anxiety, I suffer from all these things too. The feelings of unreality you mention is better known as depersonalisation or derealisation , and is very common but very distressing.  Are you receiving any treatment? If not then a visit to your gp to talk about possible ways to help might be good for you. Meds or therapy will be your options. I would recommend therapy over meds, others would go for meds. It really depends on what works for u 
    • sarah91870
      sarah91870 jmcg2014

      Posted

      Hi thank you for the reply 

      I have tried medication but they just seem to make the feelings of unreality worse. I'm also currently on a waiting list for therapy but it's so long and I have been waiting ages! 

      The feelings of unreality is the feeling that distresses me the most, I feel like if I didn't have that then I would be ok! It seems to cause the weirdest thoughts that cause instant panic sad 

    • jmcg2014
      jmcg2014 sarah91870

      Posted

      I know exactly what u mean, I'm the exact same and that's why I won't take meds. Therapy does take time but it is worth the wait. Defo call breathing space, they help a lot
  • amy89817
    amy89817 sarah91870

    Posted

    Hi Sarah, 

    I'm also 21 and from the UK smile

    I'm sorry you're feeling this way. All of those symptoms seem like symptoms of anxiety (I've had them, anyway!) 

    Have you sought treatment for anxiety/panic attacks, or seen your GP about it? 

    Do you know what the cause of your first panic attack was yet? What may have started your anxiety? 

    • sarah91870
      sarah91870 amy89817

      Posted

      Thank you for the reply!

      I was in a very bad relationship, that was violent. I ended up in hospital and had to have surgery on my jaw and after that this is where it all seems to have exploded. 

      I have never ever felt this way before that first panic attack. 

      Thanks for the replies, very helpful.

    • amy89817
      amy89817 sarah91870

      Posted

      A violent relationship is what started mine off too. I'm starting Hypnotherapy next week, which I hope will work.

      Cognitive behavioural therapy is supposed to be very good too. If it's a long waiting list, you can google it and find CBT worksheets and information sheets on the Internet, and then you'll know what to expect/maybe start it yourself. (The exposure therapy worksheets are particularly useful for me- I'm agoraphobic so I can mark my progress on these sheets) 

      My GP told me to google 'positive steps' it's a mental health service in most places around the UK. They may even be the people providing the therapy that you're on the waiting list for. But they provide free group and one-to-one sessions (which you can book online without your GP) and also give good anxiety contacts, e.g, 24 hour phone services that you can call when having a panic attack. 

    • sarah91870
      sarah91870 amy89817

      Posted

      I'm sorry you had to go through that too.

      Thank you so much! I will look into those things x

  • jmcg2014
    jmcg2014 sarah91870

    Posted

    If you are I. The UK, in the meantime you can call breathing space, they are an excellent free phone call to help you with any issues, they really are very good
    • sarah91870
      sarah91870 jmcg2014

      Posted

      Thank you, I did just try to phone them but they are only available in Scotland!
  • jenny2468
    jenny2468 sarah91870

    Posted

    Hi Sarah,

    Yes I get exactly the same symptoms plus a painful chest and shirt if breath, but crying always ends up being a factor! 

    I've only started suffering with it since end if last year before that I never really had any issues, but at the moment it's getting quite bad as I starting new work which always causes me very bad anxiety to a point where I would just not go to work n eventually quit! 

    This forum it's great for sharing and gearing that your not the only one, as everyone on here understands where family or friends who don't suffer don't quite understand how uncontrollable it really is. 

    Just remember your not alone, if you start to panic just come on here and speak to someone as everyone's very supportive. 

    • sarah91870
      sarah91870 jenny2468

      Posted

      Thank you so much for the reply! I appreciate it.

      I never ever thought anxiety or panic could affect you in this way, it feels like something so much worse. I have been absolutely terrified I have schizophrenia or I'm about to have a psychotic break, it feels so scary!

    • mimi0604
      mimi0604 sarah91870

      Posted

      That's such a normal feeling. At least it's good to know that people have felt exactly the same so we can't all be going mad can we! You are not going to go insane I've thought it many times and it hasn't happened! Your'll be ok it's just a horrible feeling we have to deal with until we get some help that works for us! X
    • jenny2468
      jenny2468 sarah91870

      Posted

      Hi Sarah 

      I know it's such a horrible feeling not being able to control your thoughts or reactions to the anxiety, your body just seems to take over with all these symptoms and it's an absolute pain.

  • mimi0604
    mimi0604 sarah91870

    Posted

    Hi Sarah 

    Please try not to worry! I know exactly how you feel and have experienced all your feelings before and still do. I'm 24 and I've been suffering from anxiety for about 6 months and have experienced all the symptoms that come with it!

    It's very easy for me to tell you to calm down and that you're gonna be ok as I can't even tell myself that sometimes but when I look back to just say having a panic attack that I had the other day you just have to think that nothing happened to you and that you are safe. Just try to breathe maybe read a book keep your mind off it. The brain is such a powerful thing but you really aren't alone in how you are feeling! Have you been to the doctors and do your family know you feel like this? I've been referred to cognitive behaviour therapy which is one of the treatments of anxiety and panic attacks. I also paid and went privately for hypnotherapy last week which I found really helpful and I'm having another session this week. 

    Go and see you gp and ask for some help and talk to your family. In the mean time just try to stay calm and focus and just keep telling yourself nothing is going to happen to you these are all just feeling a of anxiety and they can't harm you!

    I hope you feel better 

    Mimi x

    • amy89817
      amy89817 mimi0604

      Posted

      Mimi, do you think that hypnotherapy will work for you eventually? I'm booked in to start next Monday and really hoping it'll work- it's the only thing I haven't tried! 
    • mimi0604
      mimi0604 amy89817

      Posted

      Hi Amy. I really think it will! I felt good when I came out and I felt good all day te next day. I only started to feel a bit crap again when I had to get on a train and travel to my boyfriends or lives quite far so I felt a bit tight in the chest and anxious but I just kept telling myself nothing is going to happen to me and said all the things in my head that the hypnotherapist taught me. I've actually felt not bad at all since Monday now which is really good for me as I had had a terrible couple of weeks with panic attacks. I'm definitely going to carry on with it as I don't think one session is enough and I'm ready to try anything! I found it much more helpful than my cognitive behaviour therapy to be honest! 
    • jenny2468
      jenny2468 mimi0604

      Posted

      Hi MIMI

      You seem to be quite good at giving the advice about anxiety and therapy etc how do you find going to work? At this affects me very badly anxiety wise to a point where I talk myself out of going and it's destroying me and my life as I have to work In order to get money but sometimes I just find it so hard. 

      Great that everyone is so open and helpful on this forum x

    • amy89817
      amy89817 mimi0604

      Posted

      That's fantastic! I'm quite looking forward to it, I'm willing to try anything to sort this anxiety out! It sounds rather flippant, but I don't mind paying for all of these hypnotherapy sessions if it works- my anxiety is so awful that I can hardly do anything now. But I'm optimistic smile 
    • sarah91870
      sarah91870 mimi0604

      Posted

      Thank you!

      My family know exactly what's going on with me although they don't really understand. I try to tell them that I don't feel like I'm here and that nothing feels real, that's why I'm getting distressed but I seem to get the ''well you are here, so just forget about it''. 

      I know I am here, I know that life is real but these feelings and thoughts seem to eat me up. They seem impossible to ignore.

      I hope you don't mind me asking but was the hypnotherapy expensive? as it's something I would be interested in looking into.  

    • mimi0604
      mimi0604 jenny2468

      Posted

      Hi jenny 

      To be honest I have no idea how I've become good at giving advice on it because I've been suffering so bad with my anxiety recently. But I just think I read everyone's symptoms and how they're feeling and I've experienced it all and nothing has ever happened to me..I haven't had a heart attack I haven't gone mental or I haven't died even though it feel likes that every time I have a panic attack. So I just think it's good to let people know that no matter how scary it feels nothing is going to happen to you. 

      Going to work I think was a big effect on my anxiety and panic attacks. I started a few months ago as a nanny and looking after a baby is stressful and it can be lonely at times as well. Honestly I don't know I've managed to get to work some days. I've sometimes drive myself and the baby over to my house where my mum is or mum has come over. I'm quite lucky that my job allows me to do that!

      What's you job? I think you've really got to tell yourself that your fine and you can go to work..if anything keeping busy is probably better but I know it seems hard to get to that point and make your brain work like that. Are you having therapy or any treatment? X

    • mimi0604
      mimi0604 amy89817

      Posted

      Yes definitely I don't mind paying either. I think that helps though thinking to yourself I don't mind paying for it I want to do it I'm excited to go. Having all those positive thoughts helped me and I was excited to go as well. I just thought to myself I'm going to do this and this is eventually going to work! X
    • mimi0604
      mimi0604 sarah91870

      Posted

      My mum is quite understanding as she suffered from anxiety when she was younger but I think she does get a bit bored every time I say 'I'm feeling funny' Also if it helps I read that girls in their twenties our the most popular people or suffer from it! No more panic is also a really good website. My hypnotherapy was £75 and was there about two hours. Just google ones in your area look at some websites and definitely ring the ones you like the look of and talk to them..let them know your story and get a feel for them and then choose one you like! My woman is lovely and so understanding! 
    • sarah91870
      sarah91870 mimi0604

      Posted

      I think people are getting bored and frustrated with me to, but it's like no matter how hard I try I can't seem to accept these feelings and thoughts for what they are.

      I wonder why women in their 20's are the most likely to suffer from it? 

      Thank you very much, I will look into the hypnotherapy X

    • mimi0604
      mimi0604 sarah91870

      Posted

      It is the hardest thing ever excepting the feelings for what they are and trying to tell yourself nothing is wrong. I've taken myself to the hospital twice and wanted to do it again last week but convinced myself not to. I just want to feel better! I'm sure we all will soon I've heard that it's just a phase so fingers crossed for us all! X
    • jmcg2014
      jmcg2014 amy89817

      Posted

      Bear in mind there are many different types of therapy other than the standard CBT available. CBT for me is useless, other types work very well
    • amy89817
      amy89817 jmcg2014

      Posted

      I know, Jmcg2014. That was one suggestion in a list of six therapies/possible treatments I suggested. We have just discussed that is not effective for everyone (that is why Mimi and I are trying hypnotherapy).
    • jenny2468
      jenny2468 mimi0604

      Posted

      I guess once you have been through it yourself its easier to give advice about how you got through that and ways of dealing with it like you did.

      yes i dont panic about my health or anything when it comes to anxiety as iknow im a helathy person but i dont feel well when my anxiety comes on as its just a complete sickness that comes over you and its uncontrolable really.

      Ive recently started as an ambulance driver /patient transfer and i managed to make it through my first shift esterday which im proud of as silly as that seems, i had quite bad anxiety the night before and the morning but once i got there i felt much better, i thnik the key is focusing on the job and not letting yourself think negatively as all jobs has ups and downs but its the ups you have to focus more on.

      Im ok today but feel a bit anxious about having to work next even though i know its turns out fine once im there its just the build up to it that gets me and the anxiety becomes out of control.

      But i dont feel like myself at all and havent this year really which ends up getting you down also as you can control it.

      Im not having treatments no as i like to think i can overcome it myself but i had contemplated it in the beginning of the year when my anxiety was at its worst but never actually carried it through but i guess theres no harm in trying it.

      Your job seems quite flexible which as you said helps you when you do start to feel a bit panicky but taking care of children can yes be very tiring and chellenging at times but also rewarding.

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