New member advise needed.

Posted , 12 users are following.

I have been under Mr Ali at Rotherham General hospital for 2 and 1/2 years and been refused an operation 5 times on the grounds of being too fat. My left hip is bone on bone and my right needs total reconstruction as its all crummbled away.

Yesterday i was told that they will not help me and actually discharged me. My bmi is 46, both knees are also bone on bone, im housebound and trying to cope with a terminally ill husband. Losing weight is proving so difficult, ive lost 4 stone but no more for the past 12 months.

Im at my wits end, cant stop crying and have contemplated suicide to put me out of my misery but my husband needs me.

Any suggestions as to where i go from here.

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  • Posted

    Hello my sweetheart that is awful I'm so sorry to hear you are going through all that you are have u been back to your GP to ask to be referred somewhere else that's what I did as wasn't getting anywhere with the hospital I was under because I was too young if you need help you need help whatever your age or size x

    • Posted

      Thanks Kerry, i know it can be done as he said if was a private patient or came in as an emergency with a broken hip i could have it done. I had a fall in November and suffered extensive soft tissue damage and the pain ans imobility has intensified to the point of me screaming in pain.

      Not once in the 2.5 years have i been offered support of any kind, i just get told to go home and eat gauva.

      I am going to go to my gp next week and see what he says. xxxx

  • Posted

    Please find someone to talk with about your depression! Caring for your husband must be overwhelming. Add pain to that, no wonder you are feeling like you do. I would ask for another doctor, one who can help with the weight loss and joint pain. Please know you are not alone.
  • Posted

    You need a lot of help there - for the depression, and for the weight loss.  My own BMI was over 40, and I was told to get it below 30 before they would operate, which took me over 18 months.  I believe that the reason they won't operate with that amount of weight, is that where the new joint fixes to your own bone it cannot stand the strain and the bone is likely to break.

    You need some real good help with the weight loss, I found that getting the right person to motivate me was key, luckily my surgery nurse did just that.  You have proved that you can lose weight, losing 4 stone is a huge achievement.  The problem I found was loss of mobility doesn't help as I had to do it with just diet as extra exercise was out of the question. 

    Graham

    • Posted

      Just a thought ... have you tried the "weight loss - intentional" forum on this website?

  • Posted

    Sharon they are very strict about that here in the US as well . I would go to another Dr. .and get a second opinion . In the US we have to be able to document that we are part of a wt loss program .I had lost 77 lbs and put back on 40 lbs from inactivity and stress . With a terminally ill husband that makes it even worse .I do something called My Fitness Pal .It is international and has a very supportive community . For me it works because it is free and I can participate from my house .It is very helpful. The folks men and woman, have been helpful through my 3 joint replacements and my husbands triple iPads . Might help,can't hurt . Good luck,take care,

  • Posted

    dear sharon, 

    warm welcome to this wonderful hippies forum where you find the best support and understanding ...

    Hopefully the shared information here will help you -

    You are not alone ...

    come back here anytime, okay -nwe oove to hear more about you and how you are doing ..

    Big warm hug

    renee

     

  • Posted

    Ah Sharon I am so sorry . My suggestions are thus :

    See another doctor and ask for gastric band surgery ?

    See another surgeon ? In another hospital ? As the operation is epidural nerve block not general anaesthetic there will not be the same risks .

    Any way you can pay privately ? Get a bank loan ?

    In the worst scenario .. use social media to highlight your case be maybe they will act ?

    Lose more weight ... you did 4 stone ... amazing !!! Carry on girl !!!

    I suppose the weight will pose risks but if your in such pain you cannot move to exercise ?

    4 stone is quite a lot .. however you did that can you carry on doing it ?

    I really feel for you but nothing is hopeless ... your hubby needs you so stay strong .

    Try looking about .., e mail other surgeons, contact the newspapers , or simply try to continue the marvellous weight loss you have done and show them you can do it so they have to act ?

    Good Lucy Sharon .. fight it .xxx

  • Posted

    Ps my BMI was 30 and never once did they mention it in Wales ! Not once .I am 5 ft 7 .

    To say they would do it privately or if you broke it must feel like a slap in the face .

    I have read the post about it cannot stand the weight on new joint and bone do I understand ... but to

    Discharge you is quite cruel considering the other trauma in your life . I think I would go home and eat as well to be honest but that is a vicious circle . Do let us know what the doc says ..., they could refer you for gastric band surgery ... push for it !! X

  • Posted

    Hi Sharona,

    I'm so sorry to hear of your predicament. I completely understand your pain and know what bone on bone feels like and also how near-impossible it is to lose weight when you can't do anything! I was of an average weight until my hip got so bad (over a period of five years) that I put on three stone due to lessening of activity. People don't seem to understand that one condition compounds the other.

    So I am assuming they told you to lose weight then they will operate? If so just try, try, try and be really strict with yourself - as I am doing now ten days post op, I desperately want to lose my excess weight. I was given a kick-start on this by the horrible hospital food and have virtually halved what I was eating before due to a reduced appetite.

    Well done on the four stone so far, have you tried slimming world, it really does work, can you get to a class? Even if you check in once a month they will encourage and help you, lots of nice people there. Look up online or on youtube exercises that you can do sitting down, every little will help I promise.

    How has the hospital left things with you, do you have a time frame in which to lose weight so they can see how you are trying and succeeding?

    Don't give up!

    Good luck hun.xx

     

  • Posted

    Hi Sharon

    That is so awful. I know exactly how it feels to be unable to lose weight due to immobility - i've also become overweight due to health deterioration, and it's a struggle when you can't exercise. 

    If you have someone who could help you with traveling - it's far, but not that far if you have a car (but would need a driver for the surgery, follow up) you can ask your GP to choose and book a referral to the Yorkshire Clinic in Bingley, West Yorkshire. They do NHS referrals, and I know for a fact that they treat lots of overweight people. I was treated there privately, but I just phoned a couple of friends who had NHS there, and they said that they saw a surgeon in about four weeks, and surgery was about 10 weeks after. 

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