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First, I will apologize if this post is too personal and graphic but I didn't know where to turn to with my worries. After 20 years without sexual intercourse (to a great extent due to my LS), I have started a journey to regain my sex life. In the beginning of the year, my vaginal opening was widened surgically which was quite successful. Since then I have worked with dilators but I am still rather tight down there and the scar tissue is not elastic. I am in the process of separating from my long-time partner since our love life has been dead since ages and I have also started dating. A couple of months ago I managed to have intercourse for the first time in 20 years, which felt fantastic even though it caused me some tearing. It was a relief that it worked out. Next time with the same partner went smooth, no tearing and I was in heaven. Sadly, this relationship didn't work out for other reasons but I am now dating a great man who seems to really like me as a person. We have had one hot, intense night which unfortunately caused me pain and splits and I am still hurting two days afterwards. It was worth it anyway, but I know that I cannot go on like this every time, especially if we will see each other often. This guy is experienced and (unfortunate for my LS) quite large compared to my previous partner this autumn. He seems natural and easy to talk to and I believe that he is open to other ways of sex than penetration. At least, we also had oral sex during this night. But I feel so awkward. I am afraid that he will comment on my architectural changes (he did notice that I am tight down there) since he seems well aware of what the female parts look like and how they work. How do I bring this topic up without destroying everything? I am scared that he will turn away and feel disgusted or that he will be too afraid of hurting me which will take the joy away. I am a quite sensual, open-minded person and I enjoy sex . Luckily my clitoral area is quite unaffected but this horrible disease keeps stressing me out. I would very much appreciate all advice how to manage this situation? How do I bring this up? It will feel horrible to be rejected because of LS.
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