newly diagnosed

Hi,

Sorry to hear this news, don't you have anyone to confide in? I know its well known these days, and the transfer rate is probably a lot bigger than you think. Boys can and will always say you never got it off me, they don't know that for sure without a proper diagnosis, it can be carried around for months undetected - thats why men, boys think they don't have it. It's so easy to say, but hes not on the receiving end.

Don't feel depressed, I know thats easy for me to say, but believe me, you'll get over it.

Read some of the other teens on this site and you'll be surprised by the figures these days. Can you not speak to your parents about how you feel and why? We have 2 boys and a daughter, but we've always brought them up to speak to us about anything, and we have a very bonded family - our daughter would probably ask what we thought about certain boys, she normally does - and we give her our views not what she would do, but looking at the situation from a totally different perspective.

Perhaps, someone else on here can give you a better idea, all parents are different - but we treat ours like adults, and how they should react under certain circumstances.

Hope that helps you a bit, I know its not easy but you're not alone.

Regards,

Les.

I feel pretty confident in saying that what you are feeling is what most people feel after getting the news. Personally I felt crushed, dirty, ashamed, disgusted, miserable, upset, take your pick. 

The pain goes away after you start taking the meds they prescribe, if you need tips on how to manage until they kick in feel free to message me and I'll help you however I can. 

Your dating life isn't over, there are guys out there that either a) have it themselves and therefore dont care if you do or b) will love you enough to risk getting it and if you are careful that risk is fairly low. 

 I did a lot of reading when I found out and it actually made me feel better because its not an uncommon thing like I thought. In the US, as many or more people have hsv than have diabetes. Everyone that has cold sores... That's herpes but because its on the face no one thinks its horrible. 

Don't give up, it does get manageable. Message me of you need to talk to someone

Thanks for your replies. quite sweet that you think im a teenager. I'm actually 47 and both my parents are sadly no longer with us. 

you'd think I was old enough to know better. 

It's still the worse thing that's happened to me.

You'll forget about it before you even know it. I was diagnosed about 6 months ago. I felt the same as you. I was never going to meet anyone. I thought I was gross. Even worse. I was with my boyfriend for 3 years. How was I going to tell him ? Did he cheat on me ?  I had so many unanswered questions. So much hurt inside. 

I found this site to be very helpful, and I found talking to a complete stranger made it all easier too. 

For, I didn't have family or friends I felt comfortable going to. 

If you need someone to lean on. Ask questions to. Feel free to message me. Ill be as much help as I can. 

And also. I told my boyfriend, he was very understanding. He asked a lot of questions and feels bad when I do have a break out. But he doesn't worry about himself. He still wants me. What blew my mind is how many people actually have it. 

I was told, one in every 5 people have this. So I looked at everyone I worked with, and divided it by 5 and decided. I'm not the only one. There are a bunch of people I know who must have it too !!

Hey no angel,

Sounds like u need some support and this is a really good place to get it. I felt like you feel right now. Hell I think I cried for about 2 weeks straight. The time in between being tested and getting my results I was spending every second on the net trying to convince myself I didn't have it. But I did. Hsv2. Marvellous. 

Give it time and the pain really goes away. I was diagnosed start of sep this year. My outbreaks were really bad so I went on a contunious dose of aciclovir and the outbreaks stopped completely. I got lazy though and stopped taking them, skipping days blah blah. Anyway, long story short is I am having an outbreak now. Again. Sigh. Back on taking the drugs routinely every morning and night. 

Herpes is rubbish. It majorly sucks. I got it from my new partner who didn't know he had it. He's never had symptoms. He had had STI tests but no place routinely checks for heroes (shocking I know). I was sooooo Poorly, flu fever tonsilitis my first week. If u feel run down this is probably why. Your first outbreak is like actually getting a fluey virus in terms of symptoms. You shouldn't get these symptoms again in the future. 

But over time u come to terms with it. I'm young, blonde, pretty uptight about the way I look. I used to be terrified of herpes before I had it. Now I realise it's not that big of a deal. It's just the coldsore virus just in a rubbish place but If you have outbreaks all the time, you can control it with drugs no problem. 

In terms of telling people just say 'hey before we do this I am prone to coldsores / I've had coldsores before / I have the coldsore virus, and if we have sex, you can catch it too either on your face or down below '. That doesn't seem so bad? 

The chance of spreading herp is like 4%. However. If u don't have sex when u have symptoms, use condoms and take suppressive medicine this drops to about 1%. 

Don't beat yourself up. That guy sounds like an idiot. My other half didn't believe it at first either. It was tough emotionally for both of us, obviously harder for me as I'm the one who gets all the outbreaks. But as a pair we managed to pull through and I'm more in love now than ever.

Don't feel sorry for yourself. Herpes is no biggie and in time u will realise that. It doesn't define u in any way. I am still exactly the same person I was before. And so are you. 

Talk to someone about it. I confided in my family. My brother gets cold sores. That's 50% of my family !!!! This made me feel completely normal again. Like a human. Something like 70-80% people have some kind of herpes. 1/4 people have genital. Good chance the next person you meet will already have it !!!

Don't scare people off by saying the word 'herpes' is my advice. Be confident be strong and look after yourself. If u suffer, go to the docs and get suppressive drugs. Best thing I ever did. 

Good luck to you. Life is not over. Life is the same as before  

hi no angel..sorry to hear the distress in you..i was 40 years old when I met my husband.he did not tell about his hsv2 status until 6 months into our relationshiip..he scared of rejection...I loved him anyway..still love him now, even though we are not together..i never felt dirty or ashamed i did nothing wrong,;however i was more scared of peiople trying to maike me feel that way.

eat well keep your immune system healthy, exceersise that always make you feel better do zumba anything fun to bring to some joy back into your life..you will meet someone else..take care..bye now

Thanks everyone.

Blimey it's a bit of a bombshell isn't it. It's nice that so many fellow sufferer's are on hand with advice and a bit of perspective .  

I have to go to the local clinic as they want me to be tested for other STD's I'm assuming that's normal practice. The majority of the symptoms are easing although peeing is still painful and difficult the awful aches and stabbing pains in my back and legs are not as bad. 

I've starting taking coconut oil orally as i read it can help minimise the virus. has anyone else tried it? 

Thank you again and thanks for being there.

I cried alot and and felt bad but reading through your replies did help me. x

I don't currently get any outbreaks so hard to say whether coconut oil works for me or not. From what I've read, it should help alleviate your outbreaks as it has potent anti-viral properties. Here's what I found on the net:

"50 percent of the fat content in coconut oil is a fat rarely found in nature called lauric acid. Lauric acid a "miracle" ingredient because of its unique health-promoting properties.

Your body converts lauric acid into monolaurin, which has anti-viral, anti-bacterial, and anti-protozoa properties.9 Monolaurin is a monoglyceride that can actually destroy lipid coated viruses such as herpes.

Hope this helps! Let me know if it worked for you.

Aww... I'm really sorry you have to go through w this. I am recently diagnosed as of this past July. Coming from someone who had not just a terrible ob, but severe neuropathy that took me to the ER and fell into a pretty deep depression contracting it, I promise it gets better w time. You just have to force yourself to keep living like nothing ever happened. I noticed this weekend going out, I actually never thought about having it and finally was enjoying myself.  I'd say I think about it most when a guy starts actively pursuing me hard and think about if they only knew and if this goes somewhere, then I will have to tell him and I dread it. But I'm learning to force that put of my head, because I'm thinking about all this rejection before I even get to that point. We might decide we don't like each other before it gets to the point to share that, so learn to worry about it when the time comes and stop projecting into the future. There's still not a day that goes by that I don't think about it and I asked a couple of friends who have had it for yrs, do they ever not think about it and they said they do forget. 

I was celibate for over 2yrs and the guy lied to me and he too denied having it.  Ask him to get tested for herpes, as he may be asymptomatic and not realize it.

I felt like my life was over as well, but you realize after time that life goes on; you're forced to accept it. It's natural to go through the grieving process you are going through right now. You will feel anger, regret, grief, sadness, acceptance, repeat and rinse. Obviously life isn't over for us, but it's just created another hurdle for us when it comes to the dating scene. Just remember, you are not any less than because of this. Don't you ever feel like you have to settle for less, because of this diag.  If you need to chat more, just send me a private msg.

Thanks everyone for taking the time to reply.

I don't feel so bad at the moment. The symptoms have pretty much gone. I'm still taking aciclovir which seems to be doing the trick. 

psychologicaly I'm getting my head round it. It's forced me to evaluate how I'm living and to start taking control of my life. I haven't exactly had the greatest respect for my body or myself if I'm honest. I need to care for myself better and maybe this is the slap I needed. although I feel this way I'm not beating myself up about it anymore. It happened. I have to deal with it. 

Hey noangel. If you are 47 and this is the worst thing that has happened to you then I WISH I WAS YOU!!

I'm 28 and got it last year from a guy who i'd known for years, I thought he was the love of my life, we finally hooked up and then I was ill for a month, with blisters, flu-like symptoms, headaches, swollen glands, everything. For me the worst part was that he lied and lied and lied until I decided to speak to his ex girlfriend about it and she said he knew damn well he had it because when he gave it to her they went to the doctors together who confirmed it was herpes. So he knew all along and knowingly gave it to me. The person who was supposed to love me. 

But many worse things have happened to me and at least the herpes is something I can control. 

Actually I had to completely change my life in order to not get symptoms. I changed my diet, stopped partying, started exercising. I guess I'm a much healthier and better person for it now, it means i'm always conscious of my stress levels (I get stressed VERY easily, which gives me herpes symptoms). I'm enjoying my new healthy life  

But to say it's the worst thing that's happened to you... woah, I would rather have herpes 5 times over than to have lost my best friend to suicide, or my family who aren't with us, or instead of my depression or instead of my sexual abuse, or instead of being burgled this summer, or instead of having no end of bills to pay.....

Hey, I didnt mean for my message to come across as a 'man up there aint nothin wrong' message. i'm sorry you feel this way. i guess it affects everyone differently.  as a result of my herpes i now have chronic thrush and bacterial vaginosis. i feel like 90% of the time i have a problem down there. 

i also get ill VERY quickly. sometimes i start feeling sorry for myself and blaming everything on the disease / on the guy who gave me it and i wanna message him and tell him he's ruined my life. but i dont, because we can look at EVERYTHING from either a positive or a negative perspective.

for me the positive is that i now control my life more, i eat so well, sleep well, and do so much exercise which i never did before i see my body as a beautiful temple and not as soemthing diseased.

and believe me, you will get used to it. i know a few people who have it too and none of them have ever had it again after the initial outbreak. i did , but it was NOTHING in comparison to the OB. and i think my stress levels were the root cause. 

hope you're feeling better about the whole thing. xxx

Actually you may be surprised just how many people you know have it too. of course it's not something people go around talking about. i know of 3 close friends who have it, one is my exes ex (the whole thing brought us together) , another friend i knew she had it because she ranted on facebook about it, and another i saw aciclovir in her house and was like 'ummmmmmm.... do you.. have herpes?' when she said 'yes' i was 'omg me toooo!!'.it was quite funny actually. it is good to talk to other people about it, but actualy after the initial outbreak i realised there isn't much to talk about. even my doctor was acting like it was so common and non-urgent.