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No drama. This is my reality.

Posted , 7 users are following.

nicola51831
nicola51831

Inside my head: it's dark and lonely, it's painful and cold. Echoing pain grinding away, at the point of breaking and giving up. No relief just a hurricane spiral. Put a smile on, rub your eyes, today is a new day, look in the mirror, oh who is that?? I don't recognise you!! Dark circles, blood shot eyes, pale skin, you look like something out of a horror movie sad. Ok. So wash your face, OH then it hits, the pain as you raise your arms, shoulders, neck, elbows, wrists and fingers, burning, stabbing and bruising, the pain in your face as you see the person you once we're is no longer there. Ok so I get dresses and start the day, OH NO I could scream, trying to put on my socks, my back, hips, knees, shoulders, neck and arms....well you know how it goes!!! Iv ben awake 20 minutes and feel as though iv been doing an intense work out .. A mild way to put it.

So go down stairs.. trying everywhere possible to avoid the pain- but it won't ease up, one step at a time, did some one beat my legs with an iron bar? Burning, bruising,sharp stabbing with every single step. Now that that's over- time for a cuppa, milk and two just what I need when I get up. One sip- OH EOW I could scream again, the pain! Like every nerve exposed in my mouth, pushing on my cheeks against gums trying to ease the pain, then I feel my cheeks start bruising, shooting pains into my head, please someone take a hammer to my teeth I'm begging you!!

This is the 1st 30 minutes of everyday. Could a non sufferer cope with this?? So forgive me if I shed a few tears, I try so hard to keep it in, to not let the children know how I'm suffering, but today I can't , today is just too much. This is not a flare up, merely just the basics, and today I'm not coping so good. Tomorrow will be better?! But for right now Iv had enough.....

Gentle hugs xx

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  • bronwyn97278
    bronwyn97278 nicola51831

    Posted

    Sorry Nicola;    just realized that both these discussions are from same person (so my last input would have been, probably, more of a nuisance that help)......and yes to the wanting to "getting some sleep"...........know that only too well.............that's ME too....I am getting so angry due to "lack of sleep"......it has also been a "full on week here, starting Tuesday, and today's Sunday....not only because husband had a bad accident on Tuesday which kept me up and going Full Speed, with No sleep for 24+ hours, but Just can't catch up now....and have a B..neighbour who is Renovating and always got some Electric Tool going and driving me MAD......yes it is very frustrating when we just don't seem to get the necessities we need for our health.........and when there are people like you and Kaz who can't tolerate any meds, I know I would not be able to stay sane.............there just has to be some help.....(you know what I'd do....but I am in a different situation as you, for my children are all adults now..........but either send them to a relative for a week, or what I was thinking just before, when trying to catch up with sleep, "is to go and find a motel for a week and Just Sleep".......cry​ you and me....or we go with Kaz to that Deserted Island???  and get someone to fly in a cuppa every 4 hours???  how does that sound....we even might get away with smoking some maurjiauna, as we talked about a while ago (that'll help the pain)....guess we'll just have to keep thinking of ways to help you guys who can't tolerate meds?????...............Bron
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