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Wish there was a way! No one can understand what o go through, I deserve it and more but I don't want it! I cut again arm stings like hell, again I deserve it! I know what need to do what I should do but don't know that I can I don't have just myself to think about! Taken tablets and been drinking but it's not enough! Sitting in garden writing this because too scared to go inside right now don't want to live like this anymore it's so hard and no one can ever undestand! Promised psychologist today wouldn't harm myself tonight but as the minutes hours go by its getting harder to keep that promise don't want to live but for others can't die either stuck in this rut stuck in limbo don't know what to do anymore I just don't want to be scared anymore but there's no one that can help
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