No sense in being here anymore.

Posted , 15 users are following.

I am 60 years old.  I got cancer at 59.  I had a total hysterectomy about 5 full months ago.  They took out all my organs.  Uterus had cancer, fallopian tubes on both sides, both ovaries and cervix.  I cant take hormones because I had cancer of the endometrium.  So here I sit not feeling like a woman.  I don't know what I feel like.  I am suffering from the loss of my organs and have hot flashes and migraine headaches that make it impossible to function,  I haven't had a good nights sleep in over 6 months.  My husband is a jerk.  He talks mean to me and pretends that the cancer meant nothing.  I had to have a 6 month cheekup today and was so upset I took 5 tranquilizers just to get in the door.  Now I am thinking about taking the rest of the bottle.  My mother is also depressed.  She is deaf and 92. She wants to kill herself and I am worried about her.  If she does, then I will too.  What is the sense of being here?

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  • Posted

    Hi Karen 

    You can talk to people get in touch with MacMillan support line they are supporting those who are also  living with & beyond cancer , you do need some professional support and there is things you can take to help with your symptoms , here is the helpline number please don’t suffer here if you need a chat PM me .

    MacMillan support line  0808 808 00 00 good luck 

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  • Posted

    This may sound crazy but these things you have going on can get better. You have options, and hope for feeling better in time. right now you are feeling like there is no solution to this but there is i promise.

    Its hard to see the light right now

    because you are in the dark but there is always a solution and always hope that can change this around and it will change for the better. Dont give up on yourself Karen.

    Everyone in this forum will attest to the power of the mind and body and how we can heal and get better.

    Big love coming your way

    x0x0x0x0x0x0x00x0x0x0x0x00x0x0x0x00xx0x00x0x0x0x0x00x00x0x00xx0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x00x0x0x00x0x

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  • Posted

    Please don't feel like you are not a woman. We are much more than organs. You are much more than your organs! Get some professional support, which anyone would need even with all you have been through. Do you work? Or volunteer? Maybe you can make some changes in your life to fulfill some desire or dream. I went back to university, for example, just for the love of learning. Perhaps a hobby you love? Do you have children? Hugs!!

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  • Posted

    Karen, I'm so sorry you feel this way! Please talk to a counselor. You are here for a reason! Even though you may not see it now, you ARE. Please, please get help ASAP.

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  • Posted

    Hi Karen

    I agree with Joanne, please call the support line.

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  • Posted

    Hi Karen, well I'm a breast cancer survivor if 6 years. I'm a single mum ! My youngest was 8, when I got diagnosed. I've had a mastectomy and full aux clearance. I've had my down days but I'm here! Your husband and yourself need to go talk to someone. Sadly because there are no physical evidence you had cancer everyone thinks you're cured. They don't realise the mental, changes it makes on you as well as the physical. I feel no less a woman from having a boob removed. Stronger , wiser...YES! So you are 1 year on, wake up, be thankful you see the blue sky. Get some therapy I did and it made more sense. I suffer from immebse issues with hormones and Peri menopause. Accept it, control it, it cannot best you just like cancer didn't! Remember those organs that you had taken away we're trying to kill you. ...what them back...? Mourning their loss....I'm not I'm glad mines gone and I have the battle scar to prove it. ! Big yey to you, you can do this..! Remember your husband was scared he was going to loose you, he didn't. It's his way of coping.xxx

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  • Posted

    Karen

    All the lovely ladies on this forum have said it, but I'll repeat it you are here for a reason, God is not through with you. I'm spiritual person, these hormone changes make you think crazy garbage, but I believe God has a purpose. If anything else it's to get closer to Him this side of Heaven.

    It's difficult when you don't feel well, but have a long talk with Him ask Him to send you the Holy Spirit for strength. This will pass, you'll see, you're a strong woman!

    I'm looking for an acupuncturist and therapist because I'm struggling maybe that's something that can help you / us as well.

    I'll pray for you and your mom, remember you are never alone.

    Blessings,

    Jackie

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    • Posted

      Loveky words Jacky 

      I think in life we all have such lows so nice we all here together to support one another in times like these wether it be spiritually a faith or just kind words if support . 

      Karen we all thinking of you and life is a rollercoaster but you have made a good start by sharing your feeling off anguish so well done you must be proud of yourself . Joanne xx

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  • Posted

    Karen, your ovaries were still producing some estrogen even in meno, so the sudden loss of them also meant total loss of all estrogen. I’m sure that’s why you are having all these symptoms so badly now. Maybe It’ll just take a while for your body to adjust, just like those of us who are suffering in peri right now. 

    Depression can make you feel just like you are too, have you tried an antidepressant? 

    Not sure why your husband is being a jerk, maybe he’s just tired of talking about it, I know mine is. Guys aren’t so good with communication. Is he a good guy otherwise? Maybe he’s just trying to get your mind off it?

    And don’t feel less of a woman, unless you were planning on having a baby, who needs those organs? Sometimes I just feel like having all mine yanked out! 

    Hard to believe all the havoc they cause. 

    XO

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  • Posted

    Hi Karen, I am sorry that you and your mother are hurting.  I am 47 and have lived with chronic illness for 22 years.  Peri has made everything worse and I had an ovary removed two years ago and it’s just been worse since.   I have elderly parents, a mom who is about to have her 4th joint replacement and is prediabetic and a dad showing signs of dementia, along with a 92-year-old grandmother in a wheelchair who says she wants to die.  I also have a divorced sister raising her teen sons with our parents’ help and mine.  Believe me, there have been many horrible, dark days when I wonder why I’m still here, but my family and I need each other.  We are truly a sandwich generation family stumbling along as well as we can, sometimes badly.

    You are special and much more than the sum of your parts.  It sounds like you and your family need support as other ladies here have mentioned.  You are a survivor and you know better than most that life is hard and unpredictable.  But there are also good times and those keep us going.

    I hope you find support wherever you are.  You can always chat here in the forum.  These ladies have pulled me out of many a dark place.  I’m sending you and your mom hugs.  Take care of yourself. 🌸

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  • Posted

    As others have said, there are many ways you can reach out for support and help.  Some women feel as though their bodies have betrayed them; and I understand about the fear, the constant fear, that has probably become a permanent companion.  Having cancer can be so isolating.  

    But, here's the deal, one of the ways you isolate yourself is by feeling that you're the only woman that this has happened to.  Well, it happened to me, and I'm still undergoing treatment.  It happened to the other women on this site who support each other in love.  And, believe it or not, there's always someone who is having a worse experience than you are.  If you had chemo or radiation, they were probably all around you, bearing the unbearable.  

    Support helps, but you have to be the one to decide to step up, to rise, just as others before you have done.  To have the courage to live, sometimes, just to survive, day by day. To be there for someone else, and for yourself. xx 

      

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    • Posted

      Suzanne, thank you for your good wishes.  Some days, my health, mental and spiritual selves seem to be constantly in flux.  My heart aches for everyone who goes through this, and their loved ones.

      It is so difficult to bear, even with love and support! God bless you, and all of us! xx

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  • Posted

    Please seek help from professionals. You are  a woman and nothing can change that organs or no organs. You are more than this! be strong, take each day at a time but please seek help xx
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  • Posted

    Karen, are you reading this? How are you today?
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