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No sense in being here anymore.

Posted , 15 users are following.

karen27659
karen27659

I am 60 years old.  I got cancer at 59.  I had a total hysterectomy about 5 full months ago.  They took out all my organs.  Uterus had cancer, fallopian tubes on both sides, both ovaries and cervix.  I cant take hormones because I had cancer of the endometrium.  So here I sit not feeling like a woman.  I don't know what I feel like.  I am suffering from the loss of my organs and have hot flashes and migraine headaches that make it impossible to function,  I haven't had a good nights sleep in over 6 months.  My husband is a jerk.  He talks mean to me and pretends that the cancer meant nothing.  I had to have a 6 month cheekup today and was so upset I took 5 tranquilizers just to get in the door.  Now I am thinking about taking the rest of the bottle.  My mother is also depressed.  She is deaf and 92. She wants to kill herself and I am worried about her.  If she does, then I will too.  What is the sense of being here?

2 likes, 21 replies

21 Replies

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  • Str8tfans
    Str8tfans karen27659

    Posted

    Karen, 

    I can’t type much because of my own devastation right now, but your message popped up and all I want to say is please.....please don’t.

    Yesterday at 5:25 pm I received the news that my wonderful amazing boyfriend took his own life. 

    Please don’t do it. 

    • Guest
      Guest Str8tfans

      Posted

      Oh no, so so so sorry! I hope you are ok, although I don’t know how you can be. Here if you want to talk. ❤️
    • lynda20916
      lynda20916 Str8tfans

      Posted

      I am so very, very sorry for your loss...you are in my prayers.xxx
  • lori92895
    lori92895 karen27659

    Posted

    Dear Karen, I suffer with depression.  How I get through life is by counting my blessings and praying for peace.  

    Your mother needs you right now.  Please stay to be with her.  Then stay because the earth is beautiful and there is much more for you to do on it.  

    You are a beautiful person, God doesn't make junk.  Your soul is precious to Him.

    Love, Lori  

  • lori92895
    lori92895 karen27659

    Posted

    Karen, 

    I wrote before of the beauty of the earth.  With my depression I have thought of death.  Then I stopped to think how I would miss my favorite season.  Autumn, the leaves changing color, pumpkins on the doorsteps, the shadows growing longer, baking snickerdoodles, the air is cooling down from the hot summer, there is a certain feel and smell in the air that is just so yummy. and Halloween which I just love.  These things I count as blessings from God given to this earth for us to enjoy.  I hope you can find joy in the seasons  too.

    I am so sorry about your migraines.  I have them as well.  I have had arthritis since I was 22 and the fatigue from that brings on the migraines.  I am now 51 and have had problems with peri-menopause, I have weak legs and restless leg syndrome which does not help with the fatigue.  I am able through my husbands insurance to take prescription medicine for the migraines,  it helps a lot.  I also find that when I am getting one at the very onset if I take in a lot of water they will calm down and sometimes go away.

    I hope the cancer is under control.  I hope you gain strength everyday and can find something good to smile about.  I know it's hard with migraines and being wiped out and all.  I hope you can smile at someone's picture who you love or a time in your life when you were happy.  I will pray for you.  Love is being sent your way.  

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