1. Community
  2. Women's health
  3. Menopause

Not a good day

Posted , 10 users are following.

Lotti1966
Lotti1966

Good Morning all,

My whole body hurts today.  My left shoulder, my left heel, my lower back, indigestion, feeling low and sad. 

Worried about my son. He's an alcoholic. He Bing drinks once or twice a week. His girlfriend called me last night and said he's been drinking and blacking out or drinking and going on crying spells. 

I know this is off the subject but I dont know how much more I can take....

Just needed to talk to someone other than my husband who says "dont answer the phone,  he's grown, they need to deal with this" 

2 likes, 26 replies

26 Replies

Prev
  • DaisyDaze
    DaisyDaze Lotti1966

    Posted

    I get how you feel! Men think we can just stop worrying. I'm so sorry about your son. There is no way you can get it off your mind. I kind of think that's why you feel sore. I bet you didn't sleep well and when you did, maybe slept hard on that shoulder.

    I would like to find a blog relating to our family problems and how it worries us. I do believe "how men think" is very differently than how women think (and feel). I personally dealt/deal with a few alcoholics in my life. All I can say is they need to learn "how" to drink if they are not going to quit. They need to learn the signs of when they are on the verge of going overboard. They also need to face things they have done under the influence. That may not work for everyone, but it has helped for a few that I know.

    On the other hand, I also know of someone who just cannot recognize how bad he is. There is no controlled drinking with him, so I know how you feel. It's really difficult for him. He just cannot avoid the urge to drink, gets drunk, passes out, then drinks to deal with what he has done. It's sad.

    I hope your son improves.

  • 2chr2015
    2chr2015 Lotti1966

    Posted

    Hi Lotti.  Are you feeling any better?  I hate to hear you are going through all this.  I also have a son with substance abuse issues.  I can understand how you feel.  Vent all you want on here.  We are all great listeners for each other.  Wish we could all meet up and give real Hugs!  My shoulder has started bothering me more and more lately and my legs, ankles and feet too!  Ugh
    • Lotti1966
      Lotti1966 2chr2015

      Posted

      Thank you. It means a lot that someone has even bothered to check on me today. Everyone just acts like nothing happened....again. A vicious cycle. Gets drunk, blames everyone, talks mean to everyone, doesn't care if he goes out and gets hurt. Girlfriend calls me crying. Says she needs to leave. I tell her to leave. Then the next day everyone acts like nothing has happened.  He's my son. My only child and I suffer knowing I must have done something wrong. Yes, I need a hug😔

    • kelly55079
      kelly55079 Lotti1966

      Posted

      No...  you did not do anything wrong!!!   We all want better for our children. He CHOSE to drink...   Nothing to do with you at all.  We make our beds and lay in them.    My cousin is the only child-- brillant in HS and college..  He chose alcohol and works at a diner.  Yes, my aunt and uncle are devastated but what else can they do?
    • jo4848
      jo4848 Lotti1966

      Posted

      Sending many virtual hugs your way!

      So sad to read this.

      What does he say when he is sober though? Does he want help?

    • Lotti1966
      Lotti1966 jo4848

      Posted

      He denies he has a problem one minute and the next hes asking for help to stop. I talked with my friend late last night, I met her in an abuse group I went to many years ago. She suggested Alanon for me. It's a group that helps people that are connected to alcoholics  ....its worth a shot. I also called my son and told him I can't do this anymore. He's not to call me until he's serious about wanting help. 

      I can't believe I've opened up to you all the way I have on this thread. You have my ? thank you so much. I appreciate ALL of the suggestions and comments. 

    • jo4848
      jo4848 Lotti1966

      Posted

      It's great that you are getting help. I know I'm not saying anything new or anything you haven't tried before but you are his mum and you know him best so you know how/when to try to approach him about help. I really hope it works out. At least, there are times when he is asking for help and this is a ray of hope. I'm sure this group would have a lot more ideas on how to approach this. Please keep us posted and message whenever you feel you need to talk.

      ?I've only been on here for a short period of time but I'm so glad I found this forum.

      x

    • DaisyDaze
      DaisyDaze Lotti1966

      Posted

      You did nothing wrong and you are doing everything right by still loving him and caring.
    • DaisyDaze
      DaisyDaze Lotti1966

      Posted

      I heard Alanon is a good support group. You will be with others going through the same thing. If your son is asking for help at times, have the information immediately available. This happened with my friend's son. She was waiting for him to come begging for help. She had it ready and immediately drove him to rehab. It's worth a try. Unfortunatly, he began drinking again (been in rehab three times, but goes back to drinking every time). The only good news is that he is becoming more and more aware of how to control his drinking. He now drinks daily, but rarely gets nasty or out of control. Luckily, he does not have a car since he lost his license. I am impressed though at his awareness and that he is trying to become a better man. It's taking time, but it's slowly working.

    • DaisyDaze
      DaisyDaze jo4848

      Posted

      I agree. I think on the days he asks for help, be prepared and be ready to help. Have rehab information readily available. It's worth a try.

Back to top
Prev

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the community to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the community are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the community is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.