Not getting to the restroom in time

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My daughter is 12 years old. Since she was in first grade the teachers wouldn't let the kids use the restroom without being punished.  So she would have accidents. Her doctor said this could become a medical problem if it keeps happening.  She is now in 7th grade and still has accidents at home. Her middle school lets them use the restroom.  She doesn't feel like she needs to go until it is too late. Does anybody have any advice how we can help her. She is hiding her underwear when she has an accident. We don't punish her. We just tell her to clean it up and take care of it.  

We ask her don't you know when you have to go and we always get the same answer not really. We ask her when did this happen when we find her underwear she can't remember. The doctor had said back then that she might have to be hosiptalized if it keeps going but I'm hoping to get some help or answers here.  

Not sure what group to put this in.

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  • Posted

    That is so cruel. What is the matter with these teachers? I wish I had some good profound advise to give you but I don't. Maybe we should all home school.
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    • Posted

      Trust me I didn't like that school. We thought home schooling because of it but she's an only child. I agree they are cruel. My daughter is a great kind kid, you can trust her to go and come right back. But the teachers always but a punishment in if you had to go the bathroom. Like we can control when we need to go. Believe me we were mad parents. They don't leave time to use the bathroom. At least the middle school is a lot better but the damage is already done.
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  • Posted

    Teachers can have a huge effect on children and their self worth. I am glad things are better for her now and hope eventually there will be a cure for these problems.
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    • Posted

      I hope we can get this straighten out. Here teachers yell and scream at the kids. My daughter wished she could have gone right to middle school then be at her elementry school. Teachers do have a huge effect on the kids I helped in the class rooms and I didn't like what I saw at all. When I was a kid we were treated better but we treated the teachers better too. Schools are just sad these days.
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  • Posted

    I have heard of a male teacher who would make snarky comments about kids in front of other kids. Like if a boy (this is high school) would be our sick or not in first class he would say things like "Oh he must have gone to the gynocolgist" he was a complete jerk and was also the baseball coach. Teachers have a lot of power how other kids see each other.
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    • Posted

      Yes teachers as caring as they used to be. One kid that I know since kindergarten was always bullied and no one stopped it. So now he says mean things to others for no one cared that he was being hurt. He can be a good kid. Abused at home and at school. Makes me very angry. I felt sorry for him all these years but now he says mean things to my daughter even though she was always nice to him and stood up for him. Its a sad world now.
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    • Posted

      I agree. Sad he turned on her. An adult should have shut it down when it started and saved the boy the humilitation and pain. We all need to stand up for the weaker and smaller and not turn away. It would be a better world.
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    • Posted

      Yes we do! It broke my heart seeing teachers doing nothing for this kid. He has a black dad and white mom, divorced. The kids treated him like he was a diease. It made me sick how the kids were so mean. I would always spend time with this kid. Now in middle school I can't. They ride a bus to school and I don't see him much.
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    • Posted

      These are the kids that go ballistic and shoot up schools. They are bullied and teachers turn their head and act like they dont see. A word of kindness also goes a long ways. The kid cannot help his circumstances.
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    • Posted

      I hear you. We already had high school shooting back in 1997 here. When Sandy school shooting happened we still have more. It makes me sick and as a mom scared anytime my kid isn't with me. Hearings sirens when she's gone makes me nervious until she gets home.

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  • Posted

    How Awful,

    What terrible teachers, even if this was a school policy you would think that the teachers would see this is wrong, it sounds like this is more of a phycological problem now than a physical one, and i would say it has been caused by or at the very least made worse and prolonged a problem that would have eventually cleared itself up.

    It is cuelty and negligence on behalf of the school they are not fullfilling their duty of care.

    I hate to make this comparrison, but i have a brother who did a couple of long stretches in prison, when he came out he could not physically go to the toilet unless he asked someones permission and they gave it.Even then it was difficult for him, he has now been out of prison for some years and does'nt have to this but it took some time before this ritual of asking before he could go went away.

    i hate to compare a school with prison and growing children with inmates but it's there none the less.

    Can you not take her out of this school and enrol her in another, or at least home school for a short period untill this problem has alleviated somewhat.?

    My sympathies are with you, if there are like minded parents at this school who disagree with how it's run, could this not be bought to the attention of a governing board the county or state.This should'nt be allowed to continue.   

     

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    • Posted

      Our daughter is in a different school now, second year there. This school is amazing and caring. K-5 was the school who wouldn't let the kids use the restroom. That school was like a prison. They made threats to the kids and changed the rules everyday.

      Our daughter really loves her middle school its 6-8 graders.

      I'm just hoping someone has an idea how we can help her before we take her to the doctor, he said to us when she was in 1 grade this could mean a hospital stay. We already have hospital bills, I had my gall bladder out in Nov. Plus other medical bills.

      I wanted to try this before we take her in and we will if no one has any ideas. Thanks for caring.

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  • Posted

    The only thing I can suggest is get her on some probiotics daily and also some fiber. I mix it up every day with apple juice, grape juice or sprite. Not my favorite part of my day but I havent had problems for months since starting this regimine. Also if I find that I am having problems I take some Colase softner.  It is something she needs to start now and not stop to keep things regular.
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  • Posted

    Hi Lori,

    When she does go is it (for want of a better phrase) normal in form, or is it more on the constipated hard form/Dioreah. Or any other abnormalities like mucous, or blood streaked, or thin pale and floaty?.

    Sorry if this is too graphic, does she need to go more than once or twice per day?

     

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    • Posted

      I don't look at her out put any more. Put if it wasn't normal looking she would tell me. So I am guessing it is normal.  I will check with her but when she has diahrea, green poop, etc she tells me. I don't think i have ever told her about floaty poop.
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