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On my tail like white on rice

Posted , 5 users are following.

peace23382
peace23382

After yrs of deliberation i thought depression was always going to be at the core of some chemical imbalance. I have been reading a book for the past 20yrs called The Primal Scream by Athur Janov...not for the faint of heart, i've picked the battered and torn pages back up again,,,reading and understanding it from another perspective i guess I've always known lack of intrinsic love and abandonment was truly at the core of my depressive mindset coupled with lack of Oxcytocin, what chance did I ever have.

Love and peace is at the core of everything..so difficult to attain...past memories play their role, reactions to past hurts too heavy to handle my defense mechanisim kicks in. Control is the mother of denial, I try to control by fixing...that's denial... my mechanisim.

The more It haunts the more I deny, The more I deny the more I control..so lost so alone. I just want to wade in calm water than swimming against a raging current...above all so so tired

2 likes, 25 replies

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  • gill73026
    gill73026 peace23382

    Posted

     Hello, Oxcytocin!!! how does that relate to it all?

     I have almost nothing but bad memories from the time I was about 6 until I was about 25 when after much therapy things got a lot better, its about reliinquishing preocupation with the past ( which is difficult) and living in the here and now.

    YOu are on drugs- unprescribed, my husband was a serious junky when I first knew him and gave it all up when we got involved. I take prescribed meds not great now as I have got too used to them and of cours eif you on street drugs youll get that effect more quickly and youll build up imunity so it isnt the answer.

     I am not into natural therapy, and would suggest you go on youtube and read up the many  videos on natural treatment for depression, there are things that can work as well as drugs, so proven others not but claimed to be good. I am having a good effect at the moment from one, I am not allowed to say, but its up to you to investigate. I dont understand why they wont let me say because I think its better for people to take things which are tried ( therefore tested ) and work  in  preference to none working drugs especially ilegal ones, which I know from husband can have bad consequences in many respects.

    • gill73026
      gill73026

      Posted

      I meant I am now into natural therapy

       

    • peace23382
      peace23382 gill73026

      Posted

      Afternoon

      Thank you for your input.

      Oxytocin is a not a drug you can buy (well time will tell on that one i guess). Did you think it was? It is a powerful hormone which acts as a neurotransmitter in the brain, an inducer of feelings of happiness.

      I am talking about parents who did not love enough to produce this... in themsleves and therefore in us. It is a lack of this, hence a contributor (not all consuming) to our feelings of sadness When we are truly loved by a parent oxytocin is released in the brain...when we are not, it causes all kinds of negatives. 

      I hope that whatever it is you are taking helps even a little 

       

    • Hakuna_matata
      Hakuna_matata gill73026

      Posted

      Hi gill

      Oxcytoxin is the Chemical that a nursing mother produces it creates a bond between mother and child

      If the mother is wanting and looking forward to her child she produces more thereby the child feels love and is theoretically at "peace" emotionally however some believe when the chemical is lacking the child doesn't or is unable to create what society would stipulate as "normal" relationships

      I think it's a way of people beable to understand maybe even accept themselves and as peter has said kinda give up and say there's nothing I can do about it in today's society there's has to be a reasoning behind everything accepting your different is both scary and hard to do admitting you've erected barriers and learning how to take them down even harder and therefore it's easier to say that's what it is I can't help it

      It's just my opinion of course and everyone has their own

      Hope you are well

      I'd not say clever peace no not at all I'm always paying attention some might say hypovigalant like your are I like driving too lol

    • peace23382
      peace23382 gill73026

      Posted

      What kinds of natural therapy are you involved with? CBT and other cognitive therapies did not work for me as I think with the frontal lobe of my brain so the limbic side wouldn't work for me. Ive tried all kinds from Mindfulness talking therpaies, I teach CBT and it dosent wok for me..work that one out lol

    • Hakuna_matata
      Hakuna_matata

      Posted

      I think the best attribute a person can have is to listen pay attention and learn

      I think I'm a good listener my intent in genuine I have a good heart I don't like people suffering it's my core I think lol but no I'm not clever

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