Only 41, feel like my life is over

Posted , 22 users are following.

hi everyone,

the last year has been worst year of my life. I started having symptoms in my late 30s. fatigue, anxiety like I never had before, insomnia. I got sick at 37 the day before my period started that left me with loss of appetite, off balance, sensitive to sound. i eventually felt better but never the same. I would wake up in the morning with flu like symptoms, diarrhea, watery red eyes and burning in my arms. went on birth control and felt a little better. but then on my 40th bday weekend i got really sick with nausea and fatigue and since then been pretty much debilitated. I had morning nausea for months, lost 40 lbs, gastritis and started having tons of Neuro symptoms with tingling, burning, numbness, even stinging. the adrenal surges and depression have been horrific. My skins changed, much thinner. my face is red, have malasma. my whole body is hot all the time now. have burning, stinging on my tonge, arms, hands and now legs. the scariest part is not being able to stand for long without feeling weird, dizzy and getting more hot with brain fog. them when I do sit down i have an overall feeling of malaise and just being ill. just from mopping the floor and vacuuming I can wake up the next day feeling dreadful with the burning, stinging, weakness and feeling unwell. it's ruined my life. thank God I work from home or i don't know what I'd do. I have 3 children, one grown who lives with me b.c of all this and 2 in high school. been to every doctor possible with no real answers so I know it has to be hormones but I still can't believe it. I.m almost 3 mos on BHRT and it's helped some but not nearly enough to stop the suffering and constant discomfort. I've never been this scared or suicidal in my life. I.m in the US but feel i relate more to the posts here. I.m so scared I won't get better or make it until I do. hugs to everyone out there suffering like this. i don't understand any of it 😦

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  • Posted

    Hi Lkl2019,

    We note from a recent post which you have made to our forum that you may be experiencing thoughts around self-harm. If we have misinterpreted your comments then we apologise for contacting you directly. But if you are having such thoughts then please note that you are not alone in this, and there are people out there that can help.

    If you are having these suicidal thoughts then we strongly recommend you speak to someone who may be able to help. The organisations below can help you explore your options, understand your problems better, or just be there to listen. If you are having such thoughts then please do reach out to one of these organisations who will understand what you're going through and will be able to help.

    There are several helplines in the US which can help you.

    They include the Crisis Call Center on Phone: (800) 273-8255;

    Hopeline Network on Phone: (800) 422-HOPE (1-800-422-4673)

    and the National Suicide Prevention Hotline on Phone: (800) 273-TALK (1-800-273-8255).

    Please do reach out - there are many good people who can help.

    For users outside of the USA please have a look at this page

    Kindest regards,


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  • Posted

    Yes i am in the same boat as you are. Everything you described is the exact same thing i am doing.! I absolutely hate this! I have been up since 4:30am with nausea and a rolling gut, i cant eat. I forced a little food in yesterday but then i fought back vomit the whole day, i dont have the energy to repeat that today. Also last night i suddenly felt dizzy and like i would faint for about 2 hours, my legs felt like they didnt want to move when i walked it was scary. But you arent alone, I feel like im at the end if my rope too. I have no life anymore, i cant eat or go anywhere to do anything, i look like a skeleton from all the weight ive lost. I want to take zoloft to numb my feelings but it makes my nausea 100xs worse! I feel trapped

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  • Posted

    i'm in tears reading your post , i just want to come and hug you. i have been going through many of the debilitating symptoms for 8 yrs now and have some very dark times BUT you mustn't give up as good days will come and your life is very precious. keep posting on this site, believe me its a life saver.

    Your not alone we all get through this as best we can by talking and sharing how we feel. i too feel very strange when i stand a while but im getting used to it and you will.

    we're all here for you and know how your feeling.

    may i ask have you a husband/ partner and children or are you alone?

    sending you a comforting hug x

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  • Posted

    Hi dear

    Ur Not alone my dear.

    me too suffering alot from long time ..

    My peri started at late 30 ..i have lots of symptoms too..suffering alot ..left my job because of off balance issues....home bound from 1 year ....donot want to meet anyone.

    Head pressure, dizziness ,fatigue, leg pain , migranes headaches, weakness , mood swings , body pain, tremors and list goes on and on.....every day new problem.......Its Harmones effect ..😭😭

    Life is very Precious dear..This phase of life will end soon..Be Positive ...Better days on the way ....Take care of ur self..have healthy food and lots of water

    Hang is there my dear friend

    this difficult phase will end one day and u will be urself again .

    Its long dark tunnel but yes it has bright light too on other end ...Believe in God ..We will cross this tunnel and new fantastic life waiting for all of us .

    when hormones will settle in body ..u start feeling long it take no one knows as we all r unique...we too suffering ..and waiting for better days.

    I pray for all of us .

    May God give all of us power to overcome this tought phase of life.

    Take care

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  • Posted

    Yes, all my symptoms. Have you been tested for viruses like reactivated EbV? Lyme Disease?

    Have your periods started to change?

    Since my periods started skipping my symptoms aren't as severe but still suffer every day with various symptoms.

    Other women have been like us and have gotten better once in full menopause, so please hold on to hope that we will too.

    I'm in FL, where are you?

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  • Posted


    Not sure if your BHRT contains testosterone or not but it should. What kind are you on? Creams? Pellets really do work nice and are generally pretty effective. Also is your doctor knowledgeable about hormone replacement and what is going on with women at this stage of their life? This is the most important thing you can do is get "the right" doctor on board. I would strongly suggest a holistic doctor that does hormone replacement. Insurance does not cover holistic doctors or compounded BHRT or pellet therapy but if it brings health and happiness back in your life it is well worth the out of pocket you will pay. I can't say this loud enough! My own general doctor, who was a young female was not on board and really didn't have a clue so I moved on to a holistic and have never looked back. Many holistic doctors have left their practices as medical doctors to go into holistic. Those are the ideal ones I would suggest finding. I know the symptoms your having all too well. I am 59, full menopause, no periods in 4 years and I feel great. My symptoms started at 42 and my periods didn't stop until 55 and that's when things got worse. I'm so glad I got on hormones right away at 55. Wish I would have done it much earlier. I started on compounded creams and now on pellets. A good doctor should be checking all your labs and ck them regularly to make sure you are getting the right fit for what your body needs. Testosterone is a very important part of the mix. You shouldn't have to be suffering the way you are. You have a lot of living ahead of you and you can get your health and happiness back.

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  • Posted

    hi Lk, i am 7 years post menopause & i really didnt start getting all the charming symptoms until really about 4 years ago. i am pretty much the "the Burning Sensation Queen" - i get it everywhere! i used to think it was plunging hormones, now i am wondering if it is just another symptom of anxiety. i have or had every symptom you describe, so you are not alone - i thought it was interesting you said about your red/watery eyes...i was thinking the blepharitis was being caused by some kind of allergy either environmental, allergy or food, but maybe its just being caused by menopause! i have been to opthamologist & dermatologist & am on every steroid eye drop/antibiotic etc - ugh! my eyes are crusty in the morning & tear all day long! As for your red face, have you been diagnosed with rosacea? its very common for women to get it in menopause, i have it & also ocular rosacea - the only thing different about us is, i look at food & gain weight - i do get nauseaus from anxiety, but once that wave is over i do eat. i literally couldnt function for a year 1/2, but when the extremely achy legs kicked in in January & i feared that i would be in a walker soon, i enrolled in gentle yoga classes, water aerobic & some strength training - i must say, i still get all the symptoms, but seem to be able to cope a bit better - for me, menopause has wrecked havoc on my nervous system & my coping mechanisms flew out the window - exercise & eating well & keeping hydrated does help - good luck! try to face the anxiety instead of fighting it, remember, its only a chemical release, it will not kill you, once you take away the power, it becomes less scary -

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    • Posted

      the burning, stinging, prickly sensations are the worst. mouth, lips and yes, eyes dry. i have the same...watery, crusty like I have a cold in the morning. my whole body and it's sensations have changed. feel this hot yucky feeling all the time. not really like a hot out in the sun feeling but yes, hot, tingly, burning, sunburn sometimes feeling. it's all maddening. and then the sickness feeling. it's like I can only do so much with feeling more hot and a sickness...and have to sit down. if this is a disease, it's the worst one known to man. to keep you alive but dying every day. some days i feel like my legs are gonna fall off after light exertion. i will never understand any of it and would have never believed anyone who wouldve told me this happens to women. and we won't even talk about the anxiety and depression. it's only been about year and half of real suffering for me. i can't imagine all this for years to come but I can't imagine any of it changing either. i feel nothing like I used to. that wasn't amazing but certainly better than this horror! hugs

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  • Posted

    Sister you are NOT alone. When I read your post it makes me want to cry but also very angry. We all suffer here on these boards and the world, the doctors don't realize how serious of an issue this is, because if they did, and took it seriously and cared they'd be working on better treatments. And also treat patients more respectfully. I know in the UK they at least have menopause leave so are starting to take it more seriously. But I think in the US it's still a joke ... "lady problems". Even female OBYGNs are often callous and dismissive of symptoms based on my experience. And there are those few women that brag they had no issues or didn't go through it until 60. But I think the majority of us are suffering greatly. I used to be a journalist and I am thinking of trying to pitch a story about this to a major US health magazine. People need to know about our suffering to prompt them to do something. Women are leaving their jobs or marriages because of this. This is not okay. This is not minor. This is not like what men go through yet they have viagra and plenty of help and attention. Hang in there lady! You are not alone. Come to these boards. I have never found a better support group.

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    • Posted

      Do the story!!! I live here in the US and it is a running joke. We ladies lose our jobs when we become sick from peri or menopause they just say its a mental illness and im sick of hearing it! For years i thought my husband was on my side and believed me but then the other day he just pretty much said he thinks my problems are all mental!! I wanted to die! So now i dont talk to him about how im feeling or if anything is wrong, i put on a fake face and pretend i feel great and apologize for my "mental problem"!! It isnt right!

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    • Posted

      I'm going to work on a pitch this weekend Brandy! If anyone bites I will come back to get your ladies help/stories. For the pitch I will keep everything anonymous.

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    • Posted

      Good Morning Sakura, If that magazine ends up doing the story, please private message me, and I will give you my information. I don’t need to be anonymous, they can have my name, number, email etc... and are welcome to interview me. That’s an excellent idea… Good luck ! xo

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