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Our Stalker Is Back

Posted , 10 users are following.

tess33005
tess33005

We thought the two stalkers who kept coming into our flat uninvited had got the message,,,,,,,,one was arrested for threatening behaviour towards me and also for assaulting a police officer (never a good idea) and the other, who was the more persistent one, got a police warning not to come anywhere near us.

So today we were just sitting about, chatting, drinking tea, listening to the radio, and suddenly Terry appears.

I said, "Terry, go away - you know you're not allowed to be here."

Terry said he could come here any time he liked. He was very drunk, and took Jim outside into the alleyway and said, "YOU ARE MY ENEMY"..............then walked away.

Jim came in and immediately opened a can of beer.

I lit a cigarette - so much for having given them up. Then I rang the police officer who is dealing with this to tell him what had happened.

Jim announced that he was going for a walk, which really means "I am going to buy a bottle of whisky."

That was seven hours ago. He still hasn't come home and has left his mobile here.

I am now on gabapentin, which has calmed me enormously, but I am so angry that one person could cause so much chaos and misery in the space of forty seconds.

Sorry - just needed to vent it all.

3 likes, 85 replies

85 Replies

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  • hope4cure
    hope4cure tess33005

    Posted

    Very sorry to hear this. Past drinking relationships are toxic and in this case he should have a restraining order , then next time you can have him arrested and he can sober up in jail. Also fined .

    Jim worked so hard and the smallest triggers are huge in some cases. Is he taking any meds to block the cravings. 

    Tess take it slow one day at a time. If you can get a RX here in US called CHANITX it blocks cravings for tobacco . 

    I hope Jim comes home in good shape . I know all to well how much you care about and have never given up.

    Many of us here know how this has effected your life,& a toxic relationship from the past or someone who can figuratively,and often literally ,set of triggers to drink, this can be a major problem for the recovery process. And it’s a serious problem. 

    Your always in my prayers & have the support of many on this forum who respect all you have accomplished & for this journey to come to a successful conclusion .

  • tess33005
    tess33005

    Posted

    Thanks!

    Jim has just returned, and he is the most drunk I have ever seen him since we met. Unbelievably drunk, can barely stand, nearly knocked the telly over, fell on to the sofa and landed on his back then asked me to push him back up and so on and so on.

    I have already informed the police. They are coming on Friday to take a statement from us, then they will pay a visit to Terry, and point out that he has breached the order to leave us alone. I imagine they will arrest him.

    I just kept telling Jim that I loved him and it didn't matter that he was so drunk. He's made it to the bed now.

    I am furious with Terry.

    • Robin2015
      Robin2015 tess33005

      Posted

      Pretty serious situatin Tess and not certain how much good advice I can give. Police are coming to deal with this as well which is fine...keep gong and keep trying. Robin
    • h1954
      h1954 tess33005

      Posted

      Oh I'm so pleased he's home. No doubt he'll feel dreadful tomorrow, so I pray he doesn't go back to drinking and also that the police deal with Terry more effectively.

    • RHGB
      RHGB tess33005

      Posted

      "he is the most drunk I have ever seen him since we met"

      By cutting down, he will have lost his tolerance to alcohol. The hard stuff will knock him sideways these days.

    • tess33005
      tess33005 RHGB

      Posted

      Crumbs! He nearly knocked ME sideways when he fell on to  me when I was sitting on the sofa.
  • hope4cure
    hope4cure tess33005

    Posted

    Glad to hear he is home and safe. 

    As many in his situation unfortunately somethin are maddening. Watching a loved one do well then a set back can be heartbreaking. Sometimes it's harder on those who love them as we can only do so much.

     Tess you are a very strong woman. Can one of your friends or children come by some time to give you a break. Any councelling to attend now or by phone would help you tremendously . 

    Take care are of yourself .

    Peace & Heeling 

    • tess33005
      tess33005 hope4cure

      Posted

      I work three nights a week, and usually Jim isn't like this. He stayed completely sober for nearly a month recently, but today, when Terry walked in, it was too much for him.

      My friends from church come round and I can always call them, so I'm not struggling alone.

    • tess33005
      tess33005 hope4cure

      Posted

      Thanks to both Hope and Robin. I am not giving up on him.

      I knew the very second Terry appeared that a bottle of whisky was on the agenda.

      It doesn't seem possible that these two men are still harassing us. Jim even changed his mobile number so they couldn't phone him.

  • hope4cure
    hope4cure tess33005

    Posted

    I really identified with this post.I understand that we all need to keep coming back to what gives the best support. It's good you have the church to help and in the company of those you love and trust. Especially turning all the pain and progress over to my Higher Power. 

    Peace & Heeling

    Hope4Cure

  • h1954
    h1954 tess33005

    Posted

    Oh, Tess, I'm so sorry to hear this. And Jim had been doing so well. How awful for this person to be able to spoil it. I pray Jim gets home safe.

  • hope4cure
    hope4cure tess33005

    Posted

    Is there a possibility to place cameras at the entry of your house . There are many remote types available on amazon. Very reasonable set up on computer . Even a beep can go off on computer or cell phone if someone has crossed the camera as a warning. No matter where you are. 

    Ask a friend to helps worry about these people coming by and can get out of controll quickly.  It a great way for security and protection. 

     

    • tess33005
      tess33005 hope4cure

      Posted

      The police have already ordered the landlord to put up a lockable gate just by our front door in the alleyway. The landlord, however, has gone to Cyprus for a very long holiday.

      When he returns I will hassle him to get it done.

      Thanks for the advice.

  • tess33005
    tess33005

    Posted

    One very good thing to report. I am back on track with the diazepam taper and I am down to 10mg a day. In a fortnight it'll be 8mg a day and so on until I reach zero.

    Doc Diazepam has started me on gabapentin. It is for anxiety and it also stops me craving benzos. I am amazed at how quickly it kicked in. I really don't care about benzos any more - the gabapentin has somehow switched off the craving for them in my brain.

    • hope4cure
      hope4cure tess33005

      Posted

      Great news Tess. So glad to hear you are following thru on your wellness.

      peace & heeling thoughts sent your way.

    • ADEfree
      ADEfree tess33005

      Posted

      That's really great news about the switch to Gabapentin working so well for you. I was taking about 600mg per night while I was using TSM and was able to taper down from there fairly easily. 

    • Misssy2
      Misssy2 tess33005

      Posted

      really weird..I have SO MUCH Gabapentin..I keep picking it up and never taking it....I don't take it because I feel nothing.

      I have 300mg tabs and 100 mg tabs..I'm prescribed 3 x 300 a day....

      I took a 300 today for anxiety...I guess I did feel better but it wasn't a "feeling"....just weird.

      What happened with the police?

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