Our Stalker Is Back

Hi, Misssy,

Well, when Jim came back he could barely stand up and fell against things and also broke two glass ashtrays so I had to clear up a huge pile of glass.

I slept fine. The gabapentin really help. Jim kept saying Sorry I love you so I just answered I love you too and he fell asleep but had DTs all night. This morning he has indicated that he doesn't want to talk about it yet - I went out and got him five beers because he needed them and he was in no shape to go out.

The police are coming tomorrow to take a statement from us. I will make it very clear that Terry frightens me and that his behaviour yesterday was extremely threatening, not to mention the after-effects on Jim, who is doing his best to recover but went straight out and stayed out for seven hours, drinking God knows what. This cannot go on. Jim knows that Terry is dangerous. He feels that he himself is unable to protect me from Terry and that makes him feel bad.

I am hoping that the police will arrest and charge Terry this time.

This cannot go on. Our mental stability has become fragile.

I take Gabapentin too...doesn't really do much for me....I did however notice once that I had super anxiety and didn't have any benzo's left and I took a Gabapentin (not for the anxiety) but for general condition that it was prescribed for...but I did notice that my ANXIETY lessened quite a bit that day after taking it.

Yea your whole situation with this guy reminds me of one of the TV shows I watch where the cops don't listen and then something bad happens.

I hope they listen.

Hi tess

who is this terry person?  You can't just walk into someone's house invited. Isn't that called breaking and entering.

In the UK it is classed as burglary. As for who Terry is, I was telling you about him some weeks ago..............

I am hoping that he will be arrested tomorrow.

Better, I think.

Jim told me that he had gone to both stalkers' houses to discover that they were together in the other stalker's house. He kept telling them that his first duty and loyalty was to me, as his wife, and tried to persuade them to keep within the boundaries of the restraining orders.

I have no idea what happened, because by then all three of them were very drunk. I still cannot believe that he managed to walk home, but he did.

This morning he was very hungover but seems keen to start tapering off the cans again.

I feel okay, but frustrated that Terry was able to just walk in like that. I hope  when the police come tomorrow something more useful will be done.

Thanks to all for support and concern.

Can an interior lock be installed on your door? Anything that will keep the guy from waltzing in? 

Our flat is small and completely open plan, apart from the bathroom.

For that reason we generally keep the back door open. It does have two interior locks. The back door is accessible by an alleyway which is quite narrow, and only leads to our back door. The police have instructed the landlord to install a lockable gate near our back door but the landlord has gone to Cyprus for an extended holiday, and in any case is a penny-pinching moron who won't even remember what the police told him when he finally gets back from Cyprus.

We don't like that door shut - we feel boxed in - the place is pretty small and we like the fresh air. The only people who know about the alleyway are us, the landlord, our children and our two stalkers. Nobody would think it led anywhere. It's an odd situation. What we need is the lockable gate that the landlord will forget to install. But thanks for your suggestion. Obviously we lock it at night and we don't open the door when it's very cold.

Gosh Tess, this is just awful, horrile, hateful.  You and Jim should not be going through this.  Please close that door NOW.  If I lived near you I would get my hubs to fit you an inside wrought iron gate door to be kept locked, so you could still get your fresh air but the scumbag (stalker is too polite a name) could not get in. 

I so hope Jim is ok and with your total and obvious commitment and layalty to him, will get through this.  I have every admiration for you and please buy a huge coffee cake without walnuts.

Wishing you peace much much sooner rather than later.

Keep posting and venting - you have to for your sanity. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  G.

Thanks, Gwen. Jim is drinking a lot today but has said twice that he wants to try to stop again, so when he calms down I'm sure he will.

The door is shut and double-bolted now. Bugger fresh air!

The gabapentin is working wonders for me. I am thrilled to have this medicine - it has completely removed my desire for valium etc and keeps me calm.

Sadly, the coffee cake I like best has walnuts on the top. But I just pick them out and chuck them in the bin lol

I'll tell you and this whole forum what has done my head in about this - the fact that forty seconds of Terry's coming back has got Jim drinking again - and he was dry for a month!! I am beyond angry. I am devastated.

And I'm chain-smoking. Great.

There has to be an answer to this. The other stalker, Joe, has spent the day phoning me. Of course, I don't answer.

Why are they doing this to us? We're just a couple who live quietly and don't harm anybody?

Do you know what? After writing this particular post I am finally crying my eyes out.

Ok that is totally understandable - let it out hun.....................G. xxx

Tess, Jim is likely to drink off and on, Terry or no. It will be the one thing or the other. Perhaps some gabapentin will help him too, if the doctor allows it and Jim will have it. 

Another thing that comes to mind is a storm door that has a sliding glass panel that locks in place wherever you choose. They often come with a screen that follows the panel as it slides. 

 

I don't know why the cops had to wait till FRIDAY.....this is ridiculous.

At least Friday is tommorow.

 

I know you're right, Ade, but he was doing so well.

There was no need for Terry to appear suddenly as he did, except that HE was very drunk and just wanted to be nasty. He seems to think the restraining order is a joke which does not apply to him.

But yes, there will be times when Jim drinks. I really do understand that. He has slowed down again now and says he wants to get sober, which is something I have NEVER heard him say in all the time we've been together.

Yes, Misssy, and tomorrow is now today.So off we go again. I must make it very clear to themm that this is very serious, doors, gates, or whatever.

In the US....the police would have been here the DAY it happened and the man would be in jail...or in serious FEAR of going to jail by the time they were done talking with him.

Well, the police are scheduled to be here in five minutes so I'll update you later on.

Hi Tess, how did it go with the police?

That's a very good improvement in his attitude, Tess! It sounds like he's tired of being run around by it. Maybe this run-in with Terry was a bit of a blessing in disguise? Jim really seems to be working on a change in course.

It didn't. They never showed up.

I was told, when they called to make the appointment, just to call 999 next time either of the two turned up.

So I will, if I have to.

On Monday I will ring the Neighbourhood Police and find out why they didn't come.

This is getting ridiculous.

I would be so angry I would drive myself down to the "Neighborhood Police" and make a BIG ISSUE out of them not showing up (Probably get arrested myself!).

I don't know where they hang out!

It's all down to paperwork - they shy away from it if possible!!!

In thaat case, you'd think they'd be glad to get away from paperwork for a while and come and interview us. After all, they CALLED us and arranged the day and time!

I am really baffled, Gwen, Misssy, H, Ade and everyone else.

Tess and jim

Don't know what's happening in our country in most areas. I understand it's all down to spending cuts, staff shortages.

i didn't think it was this bad. It sounds as if you are doing online shopping,

date, delivery time (approx time) for delivery, and quality of goods. Keep updating

I will. Even dialling 999 for the police doesn't always mean an immediate response.

It was Doc Diazepam who recommended the Neighbourhood Police as a solution to the two stalkers, and things went well at first. I really do not understand why they didn't come on Friday, but I DO know that if either of the stalkers return, I will be dialling 999, not waiting days for the Neighbourhood Police.