Panicking as mental health nurse told me citalopram won’t work

Thank you Matthew for the advice and reassurance, can u remember the name of the book at all. I’m really struggling at the moment as I feel that I was getting somewhere and now I’ve stepped back to the earlier days. It’s unbearable at the moment I just hope I’m going to get through this.

I will private message you the title they won't let us out it on the forums. I also hit a struggling point around the 6-7 week point. My therapist helped me to realize that I kept comparing how I felt at the present moment to how I felt prior to having these feelings. She said I needed to stop comparing how I feel all together but if couldn't she helped me to narrow my focus to just compare it against my lowest points. This helps me realize a lot of the time that even though I might be feeling off it isnt near as bad as it had been, that maybe I had just hit a flat point but if I kept up the good work I would keep getting better. Before I'd compare how felt to how I used to and if I felt anything off I would catastrophize everything and tell myself I want getting anywhere and I couldn't do anything and was a failure and I'd hide myself away. Part of the process is to put yourself out there, even if it is uncomfortable, and slowly things come back. I see where you said you feel like you were letting your family down, do you have children? If so I have a little advice on this also.

Yes I have an eight year old and I try to keep as much as I can hidden from her so she doesn’t see me at my worst but it is a struggle. When my mind wants to catastrophise everything on a bad day I fear that I may not be able to provide for her. I know that it hasn’t happened yet but that’s the problem with anxiety isn’t it.

It's horrible how your brain makes you feel like your having physical pain..but the doctors can't find nothing wrong with you...I sympathize with you..but you will recover iam a recovered example...so hang tight .it's very sloww

Thank you for the reassurance Lois, it’s nice to hear how it’s worked for others, even though we are all different and it takes us all different time lengths, it’s still nice to hear from those that have made it.

I completely understand, I have 9 and a five year old and I spent a lot of time feeling like I was failing them or that I wouldn't be able to make them happy. The most important thing to do is to just keep doing stuff with them no matter how cruddy you feel. I used to get so upset with myself because I would do something with them but I wouldn't really enjoy it and felt like I failed them, or what I was doing with them wasn't good enough because I was too scared to go anywhere. Then one day I was talking with my mom about it and she said "it doesn't matter if I liked it, it mattered that the girls liked it. That they couldn't tell the difference how I was feeling on the inside all they cared about was that I was spending time with them." Once I paid attention, it was true they just liked spending time with me. I've spent a lot of time doing craft store crafts and coloring books, reading to them, and painting their nails or letting them paint my toenails. Also we listen to a lot of upbeat Christian music and have dance parties, it doesn't have to be Christian just our preference. Lots of times I really have to take it to get started but once we start singing and dancing I end up feeling pretty good! Just keep chugging along and before you know it you will notice times that you aren't having to fake it!

Thank you for the advice. I can relate to how you’ve felt because I feel just like that too. I end up feeling like a failure and that I’ve let her down. I know that she needs me and that’s what’s kept me going. I just hope that she never suffers like I do which is why I try to stop her from seeing me upset. I just hope I can keep finding the strength to keep doing the little things at the moment, all she wanted was for me to watch Star Wars with her tonight so I’ve sat and done that even though the anxiety was laying heavily on my mind, I just try to hide it and to appear happy as much as I can.

Did the anxiety come back because you stopped taking them or altered the dose. I’ve been on them before for anxiety with post natal depression so I took them for five years but last year the doctor told me to come of them slowly, so I did and I slowly got the anxiety back and went back onto them when I thought I can’t cope with this anymore, I wish I’d stayed on them.

Hi.  No, I didn’t alter or stop my dose.  I was consistently on 20mg.  Not really sure what brought on the anxiety again except that I had experienced a bad panic attack after years of not having one and I suppose I just forgot how to deal with all those terrible feelings.

Have you ever done therapy?  I’ve just been to 2 sessions, but I’m hoping it will help me long term with the panic/anxiety regardless if I stay on the medication or eventually taper off of it.