Perimenopause is a crock, a little humor....

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For years i had heard that my 30s and 40s were supposed to be the best time of a womans life! She is supposed to be in her "prime" and enjoying the years (tears more like it) of her life when typically kids are supposed to be leaving home and what not, not to mention she is supposed to be feeling her sexiest....um i dont think so! My 20s i felt my absolute best! I had tons of energy, had a healthy appetite and I literally glowed without having to be pregnant (although i did have two of my kids during this time) and mt sex life was amazingly wonderful....had i known all if this i would have savored that decade for every second that i could but no i had to listen to some women i knew and movies stating "wait till you hit your 30s its a wonderful time!" So...i was excited....until i hit the age of 32 and something horrible began to happen...it began with one symptom, then 4, then 50....now im 41 and i dont recognize the woman staring back at me! I have no sex drive....hell i try to have sex to please my husband and oh my gosh is it so painful even with lubrication, i feel like puking 23.5 hours of every day, my hair is brittle & frizzy, im skin & bones, i feel like a furnace is inside me one minute then the next im chilled to the core, im anxious more times than not....and energy...what is that??? I havent had energy since flip phones were big! I feel screwed out of this "beautiful sexy" time of a womans life! What in the world did i do that was so horrible that im cursed with the worst side of perimenopause that i never ever heard about, i ask myself! Lets face it ladies, perimenopause is a crock and there is nothing beautiful or natural feeling about this time in a womans life..i want a damn do over.....whos with me!!

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  • Posted

    Yes Sister I am with you! I am 42 and feel much much older. My sex drive used to be out of this world now much like you its very uncomfortable. Mine started at 37 after the birth of my last child. I was hit with worst anxiety i had ever had. As well my late 20s were my best years. I had so much energy I was attractive my hair was shiney not greasy and brittle. I was always a very petite women I am 5ft exactly and weighed about 110lbs but now I've put on weight and gained about 15lbs which isn't much but for me its in my belly and butt and I'm not happy. So to answer your question yes i do and now I just try to do my best. xoxo big hugs to

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    • Posted

      I am SOOOO with you! I've heard 40 is the new 30. NOPE. In my 30s I was a size 4/6, beautiful hair, could fall asleep no problem, do yoga etc. Then somewhere in my middish 40s it all went to hell. Started with terrible sleep anxiety and my PTSD which had been in remission returned with a vengeance. No help that I was single and at a terrible job. All the dumb docs I saw didn't help and one told me to switch from a normal BC to the mini pill which somewhat helped the sleep but then led to a host of other horrors. Even more out of whack, my hormones caused a ruptured ovarian cyst (excruciating pain for months, right when I had to leave my job), then a 4cm fibroid that wasn't bothering me ballooned to like 11cm or who knows what now (gives me terrible back pain). Looking into surgery. Anxiety still awful to the point of dissociative amnesia where I've fallen and hurt myself. Then a dumb naturopath gave me progesterone (and charged me 260 for the visit) which made the fibroid grow and me put on like 20 pounds in 2 weeks! Now I'm hugely fat esp around the middle, boobs and have been starving myself and working out to no avail. It's like I have no control over my body anymore and it's not mine. Tons of cellulite. And the latest, hair is shedding in clumps for months now! And so dry and brittle I'm afraid to wash or comb it and def terrified to go to a hairdresser. AND I don't even have a husband. Who wants this not-sexy, insane mess? And tho I have a new job, it's still stressful and not sure how stable (startup) and have no 401/retirement etc. And I do also know others my age that are obese, don't eat well or exercise like I do and are just dandy. So I hear you. I'm actually trying to pull together some research for an article on this perimenopause thing no one warned me about IF I have the energy as already working 2 jobs and trying to write fiction. I thought things weren't supposed to go to hell until I hit at least 50!!! My mom didn't go through menopause until her late 50s!!!! Tho my dad's family has crap genes all around. And the fact that doctors have no clue (women or men) is both hilarious and heartbreaking.

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    • Posted

      Oh goodness, you are having a bad time!! Im sorry to hear it, im sorry any of us have to go through this! Its like only certain ladies are really having to pay for Eve eating that damn apple. I wish i had been born a man, which is sad cause i used to love being a woman...even with the periods and childbirth stuff but this crap....this us never ending! And the scary part is you never know when it will end, if it ever does. Ive seen some women write on here that even 6 years after menopause is over they are still sick and have other symptoms! I cant live like this forever! 😦

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    • Posted

      yessss sakura. what you said about other ladies that don't have all this crazy stuff and they aren't doing anything special. or what works for them doesn't work for us. some days all i can do is breathe....just breathe

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  • Posted

    Yup, mine started when I was about 34! I am speachless. I too hoped to still look and feel decent but... oh well!

    I am sorry you feel like that. 😦

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  • Posted

    I would settle for being 33 again. That's the last age I can remember ever wanting sex more than 1x a month AND still having my hair lol. I was a few pounds heavier which I would take if it meant I enjoyed eating and socializing again! It all really went downhill within a month after turning 40, the digestive issues, lack of libido, hair loss all over my house and shower drain, new PMS, etc. It's unbelievable. And then add it the random weird stuff like ear ringing, constant left trap/neck pain, sore mouth/tongue...wtf?

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    • Posted

      Yes i get the ear ringing, the burning mouth even taste loss!! This is awful! Like you mine went full on intense after i hit the age of 40. I honestly thought i have cancer cause how can hormones cause so much hell!

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    • Posted

      I know, sometimes I STILL think I have a major systemic issue despite so many Dr. visits the last few years. I don't know anyone else dealing with this in the early 40s and every Dr. acts like you are crazy lol. Unfortunately, I am now contemplating getting bangs, the thinning at the front of my head is bad now. My hair is very dark but getting gray, between the grays and the thinning there's too much white scalp to look at lol.

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    • Posted

      I hear you on the docs. I had a female OBGYN tell me my biggest prob was that I was just too anxious, all while my progesterone was crazy low, hair shedding, giant fibroid ... yeah it's all in my head lady. She also told me when she hits menopause she's just having a hysterectomy to avoid dealing with anything. WTF? Organs are not things you just toss out if you aren't having real issue. Way to value women and their bodies.

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    • Posted

      I actually thought about a hysterectomy to be honest. My cycle changed to 21 days almost 3 years ago and the up and down hormones each month are killing me. It's so hard to function and be around people most days, I feel so bad for my husband. We have no kids, are financially okay and should be enjoying life and each other. I wish I could pause our relationship for a few years, hole up with books and cats by myself while I deal with this then return to society later 😃

      What really scares me is the post women that are still having issues....

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    • Posted

      I feel so lonely too but then like you say, I don't even want to go out in public. Just want to hole up and sleep. And I need to meet someone. And now just found out I cracked a crown and may need an implant which are crazy ass expensive. And closest dental school is 3 hours away in LA. 😦

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    • Posted

      Yes expensive and not sure I can afford it and it's a chewing tooth 😦 Not a tooth I can just pull. In horrible pain now. I have an appt with a surgeon next week but think it has gotten infected again.

      Btw, I know a lot of you ladies mentioned hair shedding. Am I the only one where it's like my hair is sticking together in huge knots and it's the knots that end up coming out in clumps. It's not just lose hair shedding. It's the weird dryness and clumping and knotting that I've never had before. I haven't changed my hair style or products when it started. Tho now I'm trying a hair growth shampoo. Has been a month and still no change. 😦

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    • Posted

      Yes!! I compare my hair to cotton candy on a stick!! its awful, its no longer shiny or healthy looking its become dry, frizzy and course...when i get out if the bath the hair leftover could make a cat! And i have to clean my brush daily now!

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    • Posted

      Ugh yes! Cotton candy is right on! I just want to be able to brush it and leave it down but comes out in knot/clumps and then of course loose strands all over the house. I've heard hormonal hair shedding is reversible but how can we reverse it if no one had figured out how to balance our freakin hormones???

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    • Posted

      Yes, I air dry my hair so I have to use a wide tooth comb in the shower with conditioner or it never gets detangled. It is like clumped together pieces of straw no amount of moisture helps. Is it dry where you live? I am in Colorado with low humidity so that doesn't help. Somehow it is dry, strawlike with oily roots and frizz 😃 I tried a dht blocking growth shampoo and that seemed to make it drier and harder to detangle so I didn't stick with it.

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    • Posted

      I agree with both of you, I try to hardly touch it because it is shedding so much. Going to get a haircut today hoping I can hide the thinning front. I have read both low AND high estrogen can cause shedding...sigh. Not that any Dr. has ever commented on my estrogen levels despite having them checked 3x in 2 years. My gyno doesn't even believe in checking estrogen or progesterone, says they fluctuate too much throughout the month. Yes, I know they fluctuate frequently which is why I am falling apart 😃

      Trying yet another new Dr. on Monday that supposedly specializes in hormones.

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    • Posted

      Yeah I am trying DHT blocking treatment too. Wonder if could be making it worse? So far I think honestly it's just no change after a month. And detangling leads to more hair loss 😦 I use like 4 different conditioning treatments (leave in) after I shower but doesn't stop the shedding or make it better.

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    • Posted

      Let me know if you find a good doc Rainbow. I am still looking. I need a haircut too but am terrified if I went and the hairdresser did a thorough brushing the hair loss would be insane. Like a small hair kitten on the floor. 😦 I try not to really brush and use a wet comb and conditioner on the tangles and still end up with giant clumps. So can't imagine what a normal brushing would pull out at the salon. I also need highlights but terrified that would really make things worse. I've also heard high estrogen can cause same, so wondering if my progesterone has dropped even lower since I'm not having hot flashes.

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    • Posted

      No hot flashes for me either, though when I had the increased heart rate internal tremors symptom in the past I am thinking that was my version of a hot flash.

      The low progesterone is a good question. From the research I have done, as we run out of eggs we start to not ovulate every month. Ovulation is what causes us to make progesterone, so if we have an anovulatory cycle that can contribute to the imbalance.

      What probably makes it so hard to treat is that you might ovulate the next month and be ok. Or have high or normal estrogen but only get bad symptoms when progesterone drops off.

      I tried using the natural progesterone cream and stopped, felt great the first month and the 2nd month I was bloated, lazy and cranky the whole month lol.

      I will certainly let you know if I get any help but I am not holding my breath 😃

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    • Posted

      Thanks Rainbow. I want to cry right now after washing my hair. I'm worried I'm getting bald spots tho the frizziness is covering them. I want my hair, body, life back. I have an appt with a physician's assistant that supposedly knows hormones but am pretty doubtful. Esp since I know if it is low progesterone, taking more just makes me fatter. Thinking if I had fibroid surgery maybe I could play with hormones more but seems like docs don't know how to balance us. I keep thinking of the new ovarian rejuvenation treatment but it's hella expensive and some docs worry the stem cell injection will cause cancer. I just want a solution. If I have to take hormones forever but feel and look well and have my hair I'm fine with that. I want to keep my hair. My mom has a great head of hair but aunt on my dad's side had major hair loss. I'm afraid my Dad's crap genes will win again. So scared and depressed. 😦

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    • Posted

      Yeah, I might have a genetic likelihood with a few family members having hair loss issues. Such a hard time, trading of one problem for another. Hang in there, some people seem to experience a surge in shedding seasonally, maybe you are having a surge and it will slow down as we transition to fall.

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    • Posted

      Thanks. It's just not so much shedding strands as big balls of hair just pulling out of my head. And I suspect if I thoroughly combed my hair even more would come out. It's just pulling out like cotton candy at the ends.

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    • Posted

      Dear ur not alone..me too with u

      i started peri at 38 ..my Dr told its PMS..ur too early for peri..Dr donot understand our pain.

      my hairs also become gray.....ifeel i am getting older..i get feel as if we now 50 years..gray hairs..tiredness...headaches..weak..leg pain...need supoort to walk..

      Hang is there

      tk

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