Perimenopause/Menopause: Am I the Only Defective One?
Posted , 20 users are following.
So this is the 4th time I've met a woman like this. I have a couple of older friends and even my mother who said "oh I didn't even notice I went through menopause, I had no symptoms, hot flashes etc." and didn't go through it until my 50s. Then today I met this beautiful, tall, thin older woman (about 60) who was telling me (in a health food store department) oh yes it's normal even during peri (which I am in already at 47) to get thicker around your middle, larger breasts etc. And I thought, "oh so you read that somewhere?" looking at her super thin supermodel frame and flat stomach. So then I asked her, "what was your experience"? And she was like oh well I was lucky, no real weight gain, hot flashes etc. and I'm not on HRT and feel great 6 years after menopause. And all I can think is WTF? Why is my body so defective? I guess I've never looked like a supermodel but I was think and ate very healthy for years. Been sugar-free and gluten-free and paleo since I was 18!!! And I'm only in peri and feel like hell. Anxiety, pain, vaginal ph issues, sudden weight gain that's really hard to get off, giant fibroid. I guess it really boils down to luck and genes. I know I'm not alone thanks to these boards. But it really does make me feel defective sometimes or unlucky and all the healthy things I do are pointless if my genes fail me. I dunno. Thanks for listening ladies.
1 like, 34 replies
ImagineOneDay sakura26
Posted
Sending big HUG!♡
hopeforever sakura26
Posted
You are not the only one feeling like hell. I am 44 and feel like this damn thing is taking over my life. Anxiety, panic attacks, racing heart, insomnia, head pressure, ringing ears, weakness in lower and upper legs, back pain, dizziness, feeling off balance, throat problems and others. Every morning i lay in bed and pray, scared to get up hoping that it won't be followed by racing heart or dizziness. Some women are just plain lucky. I wish it was me because i am suffering.
klm1213 hopeforever
Posted
I'm having the same symptoms as you plus joint pain 😦
ampat1 hopeforever
Posted
yes all of the above and chronic headaches. I feel completely broken physically and emotionally at 39, scared to go on like this, hopefully it'll pass soon.
kelly55079 sakura26
Posted
Yes, I have a friend who is 56 and feels wonderful!! She is on month 6 of no period. To be honest I try not to talk to her that much. We are good friends but it just aggravates me that she has no symptoms or she's not telling me. She has a ton of energy-- always doing different things and doesn't require much sleep.
kelly55079
Posted
And my mom says she doesn't remember going thru anything either.. UGH
AJacynM kelly55079
Posted
Oh it seems so unfair!! I have one of those friends too! I dearly love her but also sometimes want to punch her too as shes so energetic, happy, endless strength... of course i never would punch her, I've never punched anyone in my life but right now i think i could do with a punch bag for my frustrations! 😦((((
nanc00951 sakura26
Posted
I hear you but my biggest problem of all this is the anxiety and mental issues
I did finally tell my older sister my issues and she said she had some hot flashes and that was it
How did I get so cursed?
sakura26 nanc00951
Posted
Right? I mean my own mother had no issues and went through it really late. I guess I don't have children 😦 Maybe that makes a difference.
Guest sakura26
Posted
I had two children and am having an awful time with menopause. Peri hit me like a ton of bricks and it really hasn't improved even though I've been period free for almost 4 years now. I do get days and sometimes a few weeks of feeling 'normal' again but sadly the awful symptoms (too many to even list) always come back.
The hardest part for me with all of this is not being able to plan for things. I just never know when I am going to feel well or literally like I am dying. It has made me depressed knowing that I have to live like this. It just sucks.
hopeforever Guest
Posted
Last year was my last year of feeling like myself than this year all hell broke lose in the hormone department. I planned with friends a trip to Greece for this July last year thinking that i would be feeling great and now i am regretting it. I am afraid of how i will feel. I have no husband for support. I pray to God that i can enjoy the trip at least get there without having a anxiety attack or panic attack on the plane. I am scared out of my mind to fly for 7 hrs. God help me
sakura26 hopeforever
Posted
Hang in there! I have PTSD and peri made it 20 times worse so I feel you. Can your doctor prescribe something calming? I also don't have a husband for support. Try to think of all the fun, relaxing things you'll do there. If you can't get a prescription you can try calms forte or on amazon they have this AM/PM peri or menopause vitamin formula and I sometimes take the night pill during the day because it's like valerian root etc. to calm you. Good luck. I'm sure once you arrive in Greece and see how beautiful it is and are with your friends you will feel better.
hopeforever sakura26
Posted
Thank you Sakura. I will look into what you stated above. I just want to get there and have a wonderful time without being stuck in bed. This peri menopause sure is doing a number on me. I never would of thought in a million years that i would feel like this. Thank God for this forum. Thank God for us women being able to talk and support each other. Many hugs
2chr2015 sakura26
Posted
i so get it. I am in one of those lovely families that dont talk about any of this. My mother had a hysterectomy in her 30s...thats all i know. i had a closet full of supplements and ate super healthy and it didnt do a bit of good. i still suffer. Most of my symptoms have come and hung out and tortured me for a time and then left just in time for the next one. i try to stay away from those ladies lol
debi62095 sakura26
Posted
its highly annoying when people say they didnt have a problem well lucky them ...............
like u im permanently feeling poorly .i dont get it either but try rise above it it will pass soon . hugs xx
ImagineOneDay debi62095
Posted
Some of my family members e.g. my aunt is very dismissive saying "we all went through it" So annoying. You all went through it doesn't make me feel better or comfort me. People are so.insensitive sometimes.
hopeforever ImagineOneDay
Posted
She sounds like my sister. She pisses me off. I don't even talk to her on my down days. I avoid her at every cost. Just the look on her face when she says something insensitive sends my blood pressure up and my anxiety. I do not need that kind of energy in my life right now.
sakura26 ImagineOneDay
Posted
My family is the same! I wonder if they just had an easy time? Or they just are so old now they don't remember lol? Or if there's something going on today in our food, environment, etc. that's making it worse for some of us? My aunt who is in her 80s is just like "it's no big deal, I got through it".
hopeforever sakura26
Posted
Sakura i thought the same thing about food and environment. My mom cannot believe my symptoms. She tells me that she never had it this bad. A few hot flashes and that's it. Makes me wonder if something else is making it worse for the women today. I have been reading books and nothing informing on the symptoms we women on the forum are experiencing. Something strange, very strange.
sakura26 hopeforever
Posted
I wonder if it's because of all the hormones in our food, especially when we were young. It may be in the 50s etc when our parents grew up that food had less chemicals, hormones, GMOs etc.
kelly55079 sakura26
Posted
Yes very true!!! When I went to see a nutritionist about a month ago she had lots of scary facts BUT the bottom line was to eat whole organic foods and cut out packaged food and sugar. She said the reason I feel bad is because I'm eating too much garbage--here in the US they put too many chemicals in our food.
hopeforever kelly55079
Posted
That is what i have been doing. Eating organic. But it sure is expensive. I am thankful my kids are grown and it is just me. If i wasn't i couldn't afford the food bill.
sakura26 kelly55079
Posted
Yes. I've been eating healthy as an adult but I think the damage may be done when you're a child. My mother didn't get her period until 14!!! But now kids are getting it younger and I got mine at 11 😦
ImagineOneDay sakura26
Posted
I guess you might be right about the food we eat in these days. I have had very healthy childhood. Everything was organic and straight from the villagers where I was from. We had only seasonal food in the right season. But since I came to the UK 20+years ago I was exposed to all sorts of food with chemicals and hormones
ImagineOneDay hopeforever
Posted
Lovely Hopeforever , I stopped communicating with my sister years ago for the same reason. We don't need such insensitive people around us. Lots of love. X
hopeforever ImagineOneDay
Posted
I've learned especially in my older years that some family members need to be placed aside. Only because their family doesn't mean that i have to have close bonds. My health is all that matters and me getting through this hell called hormones.