Posted , 18 users are following.
I would like to know why women hate their husbands when hormones are in transition, and how long can this last, weks,months or even years, and do their feelings ever return to normal or are they changed for good?
0 likes, 31 replies
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MrsMerm nr13
Posted
From one who truly knows how selfish men can be "generally"
jayneejay MrsMerm
Posted
NR13 is a man
trying to get answers why his partner ( wife) is not coping
jay xx
desiree01034 nr13
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frank55605 desiree01034
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Jdatbs69 nr13
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jayneejay Jdatbs69
Posted
i just saw your post - this post is quite old now - but i have written above a year ago - does your wife take HRT or anything like that -
i am age 51 and two years post menopause now - never wanted HRT - i must say that although mid way through i felt lifeless - it luckily didnt affect my relationship - i was very open about how i felt somedays - etc - i never really let it get me down - i just some times felt abit low on energy - since then i found out i was vitamin D deficient ( after a blood test ) and now being given vit D supplements - also i was put on a very low dose 5-10mg of Escitalopram ( a HRT alternative) its a very low dose anti depressant and i was given it in May as having severe Hot flushes in the heat ( i live in southern Spain ) i must say these have changed my life - i am my old self again - maybe get your wife to get her bloods checked and check all is okay - and consider some help 😃
Jdatbs69
Posted
Thank you for your comment.
My wife does take vitamin D supplements but that's all. She won't take anything else. She won't go to get her blood work done. She had a total hysterectomy two years ago and took estrogen for a few months, then stopped. She won't discuss it, won't see a doctor, and gets mad if I try to initiate a conversation. So I am constantly running into brick walls.
Thanks again for your input
jayneejay Jdatbs69
Posted
that cannot be easy if she doesnt talk about it 😟 after a total Hyster the menopause is sudden - so she would of no doubt felt quite dreadful - i can only say - lots of support - and a hug - is very comforting sometimes - hope things improve for you both - life does get better - it did for me .. Jay
alexmanic nr13
Posted
Yes my Wife left me 4 weeks ago her menapause has been horrendous. She's 46 and for the last year we sleep in seperate rooms, no afffection from her, she wants no cuddles, she resents having sex with me. Is irritated by everything I do and very annoyed at me buit keeps these things to herself then about every 3 months she explodes and all these irritabilities and annoyances she has a go at me. She'd been planning to leave for about 4 months, but she even said "I'd always been like that with past men after a year or two sinse my 20's I just want to run away and hide." So I aint the first man she has run from. She said "ur a brilliant husband, brilliant dad, brilliant grandad." and i said "look me in the eye and tell me ur not in love with me???" and she did crying her eyes out, she said "II'm not in love with u Alex." yet i asked her the same question 5 days later "look me in the eye and tell me u don't love me." and she couldn't. She just said "I want u to stay away from me." Even though I've treated her like a Queen for over 4 years, not that I've let her walk all over me for 4 years cos I aint. We used to get along so well until she started isolating herself in her bed watching films, reading books, nitting etc. I know that isolation is part of the menapause, she has hot flushes, rampant insomnia to. And is not just annoyed at me but at everyone really. She said to her closest friend the other day "I am in love with Alex, i just don't like Him." Again though I've dun nothing wrong apart from be my jovial and positive self. I'm an open book and she's a closed book, I'm extroverted in a nice way, she's introverted in a nice way. But the last 12 months i sit down stairs every night wtaching films and she's upstairs watching films and doesn't want to do anything with me at all, apart from the odd kiss on the cheek and lips once or twice a day. I think she is very confused, she also sufferrs with clynical depresssion which her dose is not strong enough, she needs to to back to the octor to up the strength of the dose, have some councilling for her menopause and maybe try hormone replacement therapy. She also said "the reason I left u is cos we are both incompattable." But i said back "people who are married and incompattable don't ghet married and don't last 4 months or 4 weeks let alone over 4 years." To which i had no response. Aint seen her for 4 weeks, I aint allowed to visit her at my daughters or see my kids or grandkids. This is not like her as she is a very kind, loving and generous lady. Any advice for me please for sinse she left 4 weeks ago and signed the house tenancy back over to me and apllied for a new council house herself, it has been 4 weeks of anxious and depressed hell for me??? I do beleive she loves me, but it's just this menapause getting worse and her clynical depression that has driven her to go and live with my daughter 4 weeks ago. Any advice from anyone please I'm very desperate and have been a good husband to her as she admitted herself??????????? Alex.
frank55605 alexmanic
Posted
Please update us Alex. I went through the same experience. I strongly believe for some women the "change" reduces the happy hormones and empowers them to seek out other situations that can retrigger those emotions. They didnt fall out love, they lost their sense of love and seek the power of "a new love" to bring that emotional high back-some can weather out this storm- some cannot- I hope you are one who does
alexmanic frank55605
Posted
Well she left 2 months ago today, took kids wiv to, my 18 year old son said "it's not ur fault she's always been like this in running from men and wanting to be alone." She also said "ur a brilliant husband, dad and grandad." to b4 she left. She lives on her own no in a flat in the City and hasn't spoken to me, or anyone for 2 months today, typical menapause and depression behaviour she wants to be alone and safe in her flat and bed. She wants to see no one and i mean no one, she hardly sees the kids, grandkids apart from the odd text, phone call, same wiv her close friends to. Very sad situation, I'm a lot better now and used to being on my own. It seems it's a lot down to my faults where she has become almost like a Leglaist the last few months together. B4 this menapause got worse we used to laugh at and bear wiv each other's faults as just daft. Not now though. What concerns me is what do u mean when u say "power of a new love???" My Wife said "there would never be another man." Also remember from the age of 20 up until 42 she has run from men when it got to much pressure, pressures of life, bills, kids etc. She said that to me back in the summer, she left at the end of October and my stepson said the same to. This is years b4 the menapause kicked in, learned behaviour in running away, blameing everyone else especially the partner and starting afresh. But she knows this is serious now cos she's a Christian and can'ty divorce unless for adultery "which there's been nun by her or me." She's a God fearing laDY AND LOVES ghOD, CHURCH ETC. i KNOW SHE AINT INTERSESTED IN OTHER MEN COS SHE'S NOT THAT TYPE AND I KNOW SHE LOVES ME COS SHE TOLD HER BEST FRIEND, ALSO SHE TOLD HER BEST FRIEND SHE DOESN'T LIKE ME THOUGH i HAVE DUN NOTHING WRONG TO HER BUT LOVE HER. Also it's my faults that's she's using for her justification for leaving, but i don't use her faults for my justification for leaving and have never left and never would. I accept her the good and the bad, that is what u do in marriage as long as the bad aint evil, abusive etc or damaging. Treated her like a Queen and she know shtta, and i know deep down she's head over heals in love wiv me. Just this menapause thing has made her head spon in wanting adventure, freedom, finding herself, my faults magnified though their minor, like living with a teenager again.
grg02868 frank55605
Posted
Can you provide some more details on your situation? I am facing a probably similar one, married for 26 years, have 3 kids, the youngest is 10. I had a fulfilling marriage for 24-25 years with shared interests, profession and deep attachment to each other. Everyday is a nightmare now though, very similar to what Alex described.
lenie95046 grg02868
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lenie95046 nr13
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lena53512 nr13
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Peri/meno makes some of us seeing things and people in a different light. I am sometimes stunned now how I "see clearly". I thing a lot about some friends I have for decades and I ask, how could I make friends with THIS person?! I know some women who left their friends and families during peri/meno, and I was also among those "left", and it hurts a lot. And there is no way back, for both sides.
I thing we grow to somebody who cannot be longer a victim of some abusing relationship, we want respect and equality, and if we do not get it, so we leave.