Perimenopause or detached from life

Posted , 150 users are following.

I feel like that batty cat lady from the Simpsons - I feel like I LOOK mad, and I am unravelling mentally and physically.

I'm 49 and have been going through the peri-menopause for a couple of years. First my periods were horribly clotty and heavy and every three weeks, now in the last six-nine months they've got further apart and lighter.

But it's how I feel that's so weird. I am shaky, anxious, when I'm talking to people I'm trying to think what expression I should be wearing on my face. I feel tired but not sleepy, like as if all my energy has been sucked out of me and all I want to do is sit down. Everything seems like too much effort and I am not enjoying life when I feel like this. Some days I feel great, but there are too many days like this now.

If anybody I know is going through a hard time, I've always been THE most supportive person, but lately it just makes me anxious because I feel I'm being sapped of what little strength I have left. I avoid people, especially high maintenance people.

I'm trying to force myself to take a shower now. I love being clean and having freshly washed hair, but even that's too much. My roots need doing but I can't be bothered. And I don't even feel human, let alone like a woman. I feel like I'm drifting away from friends, like I have nothing to bring to the table when it comes to being good company.

And I wonder if anybody has any experience of whether diet helps. I felt really good last week and I was eating well - could it be as simple as that? I've had a weekend of too many carbs and a curry this weekend.

Scrange x

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  • Posted

    Oh thank goodness. So glad you replied. Do you feel jumpy too? There's one of Catherine Tate's characters that screams when even a phone rings, and it's an extreme example of how I feel. I am just embarking on a three year degree in product design and would you believe that this is the time I'm introducing power tools to my hands and brain.

    Do you feel overwhelmed? That's my main feeling. Like I have to work so hard to keep on top things? I haven't even spoken to anybody about it because menopause is a kind of national joke, and it sounds so pathetic to my ears to complain about the things I'm complaining about. My sleep to is rubbish.

    The other feeling I have a lot is a kind of unspoken dread, like this may be how it feels to be dying.

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    • Posted

      Hi! YES! While I realize these posts are a bit older, I AM experiencing THE SAME ISSUES! I am 48. Seems I have been going through this NIGHTMARE FOREVER! I am VERY "jumpy". I feel that I have been getting ONE SYMPTOM at a TIME however! For instance, the HOT FLASHING was a CONSTANT for about FIVE YEARS! Gone Now, but THEN, the tummy issues ! ALSO now pretty much GONE, BUT these latest symptoms?! IDK what TO DO! Although the flashes are Gone, I am VERY SUSPICIOUS of EVERYTHING/ EVERYONE! It's DRIVING ME CRAZY! I do have an appt w a Dr later this month For BIOIDENTICAL HORMONES! BUT I AM AFRAID! Of MANY things! Like, I smoke cigs. I DEFINITELY Drink. Daily! Despite what I have read, it HELPS ME! But the BHRT IS SCARY! I just KNOW THIS.... SUDDENLY I FEEL I AM GOING MAD!

      I trust nobody-nothing! No matter what! All I KNOW for SURE is THIS! I'm GOING YO LOSE MY HUSBAND if I DO NOT do SOMETHING! I KNOW myself! This IS NOT ME! I CANNOT FEEL GOOD in ANY WAY when Continually GAINING WEIGHT! I know. Sounds SO VAIN! But then, I AM! HELP! I TRULY am right THERE with EVERYONE who has posted! EVERYTHING! Waking up (IF I ever Even FALL ASLEEP!) with my HEART POUNDING, The tears, the FEAR OF IDK WHAT?! I am TRULY AFRAID & also seem to be INCAPABLE of doing A THING! That is, Before a drink! HOW AWFUL!

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    • Posted

      You are not going mad! But you feel like it. I'm still scared a lot. Of what I don't know. A lot of mine death thoughts, mine, my family, and friends. Can't have a good time because if I do, I'm sure something bad is about to happen. Doom and gloom. And so p****d with my job and decsions being made. I'm also paranoid a bit. If I wasn't randomly drug tested I would smoke marijuana, but for now, I take a multivitamin, extra magnesium(helps anxiety). I also put spice my food with tumeric, which also helps anxiety. But when all else fails it's Valium and wine😊 Menopause isn't easy, if it were men would do it.😂😂😂😂

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    • Posted

      I know how you feel! I'm 45 and Over the course of the past two years sometimes I just explode with anger, I drive like a crazy woman, I get occasional night sweats when I'm getting ready to start my monthly, which has been on and off and I feel like my stomach is just mushy. I've started back on my clean eating regimen and have lost five pounds, plus I exercise daily taking one or two days off. The exercise and healthy eating is helping. I also drink a healthy shake. Hopefully, the steps I'm taking will help me maintain my sanity. I have to do something and taking prescription medicine is not something I want to do. I hope everyone finds something that works for them!

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    • Posted

      I'm scared of death as well of a sudden, I'm scared of nothing, don't want to go any were, tired as hell, I have tingly hands and lips, have had tons of test everything is fine. Just started and antidepressant hope it helps, what kind of magnesium do u use and how much.

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    • Posted

      I just use the Target brand magnesium, 400mg. But I tell you so much of menopause is anxiety. I mean almost every woman in this forum talks about the anxiety and health anxiety. I think if we can get that under control we can live an almost normal life. The mind goes to some strange and horrible places during menopause. It's an everyday battle.

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    • Posted

      Every single post was every single symptom. I can’t believe that peri menopause can cause so much damage. One of the worst things is I have 2 friends going thru it also and they are constantly talking about it and are both constantly running to the ER with symptoms. One anxiety, thinking it’s a heart attack, one time heartburn, gastritis and the list goes on. I can’t deal with people that won’t help themselves. At this point I did start on estrogen a very small amount. It helps a very small amount. I also upped my antidepressant and have Xanax. I think it’s worse because I feel I can’t talk about it. Who really wants to hear all my drama.??!!  It’s ridiculous and I am tired of hearing about it 3 or 4 times a day from others  so I just don’t talk about mine. I keep thinking millions of woman have gone thru this and I can do it! That thinking doesn’t help at all but I try. My husband doesn’t understand and what little I tell him I can tell his eyes glaze over. I have done a lot of research on vitamins. 2 companies I trust Garden of Life and Pure Encapulations. They are not cheap but so much added ingredients with Walmart, Walgreens, Target brands that can actually make your symptoms worse. I take magnesium, vitamin D, tumeric and cinnamon. I just found out my immune system has only 2 out of 20 immunities you need to fight off being sick. I am constantly getting sinus infections or upper respiratory. I do attribute this the peri menopause. Not much they can do for this immune issue. I am starting to take local  unpurified honey grasping at straws. I am also starting Apple cyder vinegar. No one else has mentioned being sick so not sure if anyone else is having this issue. 

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    • Posted

      I know your post is 2 months old but I can relate to so much . It’s got to be the worst time ever I my life.The anxiety is the worse thing out of all the symptoms. I take b12 , vit b and magnesium , I also take golden paste (turmeric ) and a good sourced honey . I would try anything to feel normal again 

      💕

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    • Posted

      I agree- nothing prepared me for this time of life..no one I know seems to talk about these symptoms! It’s awful feeling so crazy but I’m so glad I found this site, now I know I’m not alone, crazy or dying! I need to start exercising again, but I have had ZERO energy and absolutely hate the cold..here’s hoping I can get it together to exercise..it does help..I’m also taking B vitamins and turmeric, it seems to help a tiny bit. Hang in there! (You must be my age, with your screen name 1971, I am too, will be 47 in May) Take care and stay in touch😊👍

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    • Posted

      I do agree that the anxiety is the hardest of the symptoms. I literally have days where I can’t get out of bed to go to work.  But, if I try to rest, my mind just races on me thinking about how much I miss being myself. I wish I had a friend who has experienced this, but everyone I know has sailed through the change with barely a hot flashsad
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    • Posted

      This is the most true statement I have read.

      I cannot take the anxiety and feelings of "nothing to look forward to".

      It is the absolute worst part of this. 

       

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  • Posted

    Sluggish. That's a great way of putting it. I have good days when I feel normal but today I'm a super slug :-)
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