Perimenopause or detached from life

Hiya Ladies,

You will never be alone when reading these forums as it seems that we are all experiencing similar things and I personally have gained loads of support from what I have read and feel less strange than when some of my friends made me feel in Nov 12 when I first started feeling this way.

Last year I had a few blips when my periods were late or missed and for about two weeks at a time (prior to my period) I wouldn't even go out or want to see anyone other than my Husband or my son (who I mustsay have both been wonderful and really understanding and have not made me feel that I am loosing it.

My main problems have been with the anxiety and the fear of doom and gloom that when anything feels alittle different inside that I must have something deadly like cancer!! where have all these thoughts come from? I never suffered with anxiety prior to Nov 12 when it came with a massive bang and only when I had a complete health check that these feelings went away for about 3 months and when the next period was either late or I missed one completely and wham the fear hit me again!

I have tried loads of herbal things and have recently found off simply supplements a tablet called 5HTP 100mg high strength which the reviews were very good for low moods and anxiety which I started takingand helps to relax your mind. Another tablet off the same site was Menapol Plus which again is has really good reviews, so may be worth having a read to see if these may suit you.

Last year I started out having Reiki and Reflexology and going for massages to help me to relax a little, and I have also read that perhaps hypnotherapy may be worth considering and now have made an appointment to see a lady who is counsellor who will now hopefully help with my fears (will let you know how this goes). I only spoke to her on the phone this morning to make an appointment and explained that I am in the peri and have started with anxiety and instantly she said that this is a very common symptom and said that she should be able to help. I will then look at Hypnotherapy next.

I started with HRT two weeks ago on the first day of my period which has now only just finished but during

this time I was feeling really low and dreading that there was something wrong as I have never had a period last this long. Today I am starting to feel more normal again and I already knew that this could take up to 3 months to settle but all last week thought something dreadful was going on!! Your mind does silly things to us when we are at these low periods but when we start to feel normal again we don't seem to worry as much!!

Please understand that you will never be a lone when you come on this forum and I have been so gratefulfor having found this site and will continue to share my experiences as well.

Some advice I have been given over the past 18 months is "BE KIND TO YOURSELF AND STARTTHINKING OF YOURSELF MORE"

I will always be here to listen if anyone feels alone but remember "together we can beat these strange feelings"!!

Loads of love to each and everyone of you!

Joy xxxxxx

If I think about it, yes to the running nose thing. I feel like I have hay fever but I don't and I sneeze too. But then, the way my mind works, i think 'didn't they say before they died that it felt like a cold they couldn't shake off'.

I think mine's been going on for about five years, when my periods got closer.

But do you still feel like your'e going to have a period even when you don't. That's what I'm going through now.

Julie...

yes ... no sex drive, can relate to that too, mind you I did make an effort this weekend when partner was back for weekend and it was better than I thought it would be 😊

weight wise, I am lucky that way, I lose not gain, but my middle has increased abit, and yes the bloat happens too, Vit B 6 helps the weigh gain have a look above about it, i posted it ...

people, yes, me too, I tend to avoid people, think its a common feeling as we lack abit of confidence sometimes and we tend to feel abit judged when in fact no one is actually judging us, ' its just the way we feel inside'

Julie.. if you feel your hair is drying etc, treat yourself to a good hair cut and try push yourself to go, you will feel so much better after... get your hair trimmed up and in a better condition ... I have mine trimmed often and its go so much better now... Jay xx

Julie, you did make me smile about replying now before you forget.

Yes I have elasticated M&S trousers on today. If I do make the effort I feel better but mostly the question 'what's the point' springs to mind. I look at my reflection and just sigh and think, you can put lipstick on a pig, but it's all you'll have is a pig with lipstick on.

An expression I always think to myself is 'I used to like doing that/ going there/ when I was alive'. Because I don't feel alive anymore, I just feel most of the time like I'm sleepwalking through life. And, being our age, we also know there's less of it to waste.

On the plus side, my mum says when you're though it, it's liberating. No mood swings, no anxiety, no tears, she says 'this is what it must be like being a man'.

Scrangelina

yes ... i get the period symptoms each month, and no period, thats when the anxiety is at its worse, and tears aswell, headachy, back ache and i take thing to heart more then, very sensitive i feel emotionally then, always have it every month but no period.. but cry at the drop of a hat...

also my last period Aug 13, good god, I had headaches for 4 days constant, all through the night too, heavy sickness feeling, tender breasts.. then bingo... symptoms far worse when a period actually does come..

Jay x

Julie, and good for you for going for gold this weekend. That's a memory for me, but I used to enjoy it when I was alive :-)

Jay, that's really interesting. I had thought I was alone in that. A few weeks ago in college my tutor made a jokey comment - our relationship is based on humour and insults - and he indicated he was a bit disappointed in me. It was just a joke, and I was joking back, but all of a sudden I felt the familiar feeling sting of tears coming to my eyes, and managed to get out of the room and into the disabled toilets (where I belong) before I started crying. Heaving sobs, trying to control it. I wasn't sad, I just couldn't stop crying, and was so angry with myself.

Now I don't know about you, but some women look vulnerable and sweet when they cry. I look like somebody has maced me in the face. It was so obvious I was crying and I had to go out and hide in my car. I felt like I had really lost the plot. People expect you to cry for a reason, but what if the reason is you can't stop and you're empty inside and you don't know why?

My boobs are tender today, I feel 100% like I'm going to start my period. This is in no way regular, it can happen every two or three weeks. Last proper period I had was last year. This year I had a dark brown show and that period lasted for about a day. I can't believe I can talk about this finally. So relieved.

Joy, thanks for that. I felt desperate this morning, but now I can see hope. It's always scarier when we think we're the only people going through this. And even amongst my same age friends, we don't really talk about it, it seems there's an implied shame or unwillingness to discuss it, as if it somehow brands you as past it.

The unspoken dread at the pit of my stomach that something terrible is going to happen, and the poor sleep, these are what has made me feel so isolated.

Scrangelina

yes, I use to get dark brown, even near black sometimes ... my doc at the time, said its old blood that didnt expell last time, and its all very common in peri, he said its lining that shed and didnt expell, (dark discharge/ blood) then some can be normal blood and some very bright pink red... I got alot heavier too at times, but all over in 3/4 days... very very early peri i bled for 21 months solid, heavy, spotting, etc with only a few days break in between 😦 lost a lot of weight and fainted 3 times too... bit all that has passed now ...

jay xx

Haha. It makes me smile hearing these things. My kids say i'm on satellite delay because it takes so long to get a response. Jay, is it safe just to take the b vits or do I need testing first to check deficiency? My dr is so reluctant to test for stuf, cost I guess.

I have also noticed the runny nose thing. V weird.

I'm trying magnesium, omega 3 supplements and vit c atm. We'll see what happens. Xx

Jay, thanks for sharing. It's not the sort of thing I dare ask. One of my anxieties is the doctors, so I avoid them. I always think she's going to stuff her fist in her mouth and tell me I'm not long for the world.

Hi Mooma 😃

how are you hun... hope you had a good weekend....

well Me personally I just try them, I live in Spain so go to farmacia for the Vit B.. they are pharmaceutical strength, my Vit B 6 is 300mg but i split them and take half.. and I also take Vit B 1 ( Thiamine) too have done for years, they too are 300mg but I take a whole one of those ( as they also keep the mozzys off you ) as for the B12 I now have injection and had two so far, again in spain you just get from farmacia, Vit B12 shots are monthly here... i dont recommend anyone do that though... I get more sense form the Pharmacist than the Doctors here. My Uk Doc years ago gave me Vit B 6 in early peri, but I hadnt really researched it back then, no he didnt test me, he said I just need it anyway...

you can get Vit B 6 and Vit B12 tabs from the Biovea website too..

I read that the celebs have Vit B 12 injections for energy, even Cowell... good lord...

Jay x

Are you girls also very pale 😕and have this overly sensitive to light and noise it just like you're whole body is out of control . Thank you lady's for all the info it helps a lot 😘