Perimenopause panic

I'll be 43 very soon, and I've been experiencing what I think are perimenopause symptoms since December and it's been torturous. Some symptoms have improved since starting an SSRI anti-anxiety med, but the physical symptoms remain.

Symptoms:

Overwhelming dread, fear, panic, frustration, anger, and sadness. I had NO appetite and barely ate.

EVERYTHING overwhelmed me. Just the thought of having to make dinner sent me into a panic-y meltdown. I had bills to pay, but just couldn't leave to go pay them. Thank God for online bill pay!

*This all started right before Christmas, so obligations were more frequent and I had to hold it together as best I could. 

The day after Christmas I shut down.

I could barely get out of bed and just laid there sobbing, shaking, and physically in pain. I felt adrenaline CONSTANTLY coursing through my veins and had to keep moving to "burn it off".

I lost about 7 pounds 3 weeks and it doesn't sound like much, but I'm already small and the weight loss was very noticeable and concerning. I'd fall asleep fine but wake up with heart palpitations and racing pulse, several times a night. I almost went to the ER several times.

For about a month I thought I was dying.

I was-and still am experiencing:

random muscle cramping, muscle spasms, tendon and joint pain, skin tingling, itching, blurry vision, jitters, buzzing and internal vibrations when sitting still and trying to sleep, and fibrocystic breast pain.

* I saw my doctor a few weeks after this started and it wall all chalked up to my untreated anxiety disorder, which made sense. So, I've been taking generic Lexapro and it's cleared my head and helped me focus. I haven't had any bouts of crying and despair, BUT the physical symptoms are just as prevalent and leading me to believe I'm starting perimenopause. My aunt told me that "the change" starts early on that side of the family and that she started in her late 30s. My mom had a hysterectomy at 22, so I couldn't use her as a reference. 

My period last month was a week early, I'm starting to find long, fine hairs on my jawline. My breasts look like deflated balloons, and I haven't had a libido for over a year.

I also had 2 hot flashes last week.

I'm seeing my gynecologist on Thursday and hopefully she can give me some insight to this.

*Sorry this is so long. I needed to vent and find some kind of camaraderie in all this. I am just so over these muscle spasms and internal buzzing. I want my life back and to feel "normal" again.

2 likes, 49 replies