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Perimenopause panic

Posted , 18 users are following.

trinity03
trinity03

I'll be 43 very soon, and I've been experiencing what I think are perimenopause symptoms since December and it's been torturous. Some symptoms have improved since starting an SSRI anti-anxiety med, but the physical symptoms remain.

Symptoms:

Overwhelming dread, fear, panic, frustration, anger, and sadness. I had NO appetite and barely ate.

EVERYTHING overwhelmed me. Just the thought of having to make dinner sent me into a panic-y meltdown. I had bills to pay, but just couldn't leave to go pay them. Thank God for online bill pay!

*This all started right before Christmas, so obligations were more frequent and I had to hold it together as best I could. 

The day after Christmas I shut down.

I could barely get out of bed and just laid there sobbing, shaking, and physically in pain. I felt adrenaline CONSTANTLY coursing through my veins and had to keep moving to "burn it off".

I lost about 7 pounds 3 weeks and it doesn't sound like much, but I'm already small and the weight loss was very noticeable and concerning. I'd fall asleep fine but wake up with heart palpitations and racing pulse, several times a night. I almost went to the ER several times.

For about a month I thought I was dying.

I was-and still am experiencing:

random muscle cramping, muscle spasms, tendon and joint pain, skin tingling, itching, blurry vision, jitters, buzzing and internal vibrations when sitting still and trying to sleep, and fibrocystic breast pain.

* I saw my doctor a few weeks after this started and it wall all chalked up to my untreated anxiety disorder, which made sense. So, I've been taking generic Lexapro and it's cleared my head and helped me focus. I haven't had any bouts of crying and despair, BUT the physical symptoms are just as prevalent and leading me to believe I'm starting perimenopause. My aunt told me that "the change" starts early on that side of the family and that she started in her late 30s. My mom had a hysterectomy at 22, so I couldn't use her as a reference. 

My period last month was a week early, I'm starting to find long, fine hairs on my jawline. My breasts look like deflated balloons, and I haven't had a libido for over a year.

I also had 2 hot flashes last week.

I'm seeing my gynecologist on Thursday and hopefully she can give me some insight to this.

*Sorry this is so long. I needed to vent and find some kind of camaraderie in all this. I am just so over these muscle spasms and internal buzzing. I want my life back and to feel "normal" again.

 

2 likes, 49 replies

49 Replies

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  • t29513
    t29513 trinity03

    Posted

    Trinity, I am 43 and have been having a similar experience for the last 3 years or so.  My heart palpitations go as high as 170's, I have trouble sleeping, brain fog, memory lapses, hot flashes from hell, I've had low blood pressure my whole life and now it spikes high, I don't sleep well, have bouts of insomnia, mood swings that are so bad I can't stand to be around myself, I always feel like something bad is gonna happen, the silliest of things make me want to cry and I'm NOT a crier, I have horrible ringing now in my ears, weight gain, my scalp feels like it's ALWAYS itching, my eyes feel dry all the time, nausea that seems constant, much smaller appetite, and much more.  My hormone levels were checked 3 times a couple of years ago and they kept telling me that everything was fine.  The heart palpitations have had me in the ER more than once because they were so high, I even went to a cardiologist to rule out heart disease.  2 stress tests, EKGs, and sonograms later they say my heart is fine.  I researched perimenopause and really think that is what I'm going through.  I have waved the white flag and have a doctors appointment to get checked again.  I'm hopeful that this time will shed some light on whatever is going on.  I hope you also find relief!!

    • Eliaimee1970
      Eliaimee1970 t29513

      Posted

      You are describing me for the past 3 years.  I had a heart monitor put in for 14 days because I was having heart palpitations in my sleep 137  i swear I though I was gonna die . The results were normal only PAC which is premature heartbeat and those stop now in the past 2 weeks I have been nauseated and having these cramps/contractions/uti pain and last Thursday I though I was Going to give birth something inside of me.  I had a ultrasound and I will get the results Monday .  

      And my daily aches and pains are muscles pain in the hips, left shoulder , arm , head, neck , back ,  pain in chest ( muscle pain ) no heart disease .   

    • trinity03
      trinity03 Eliaimee1970

      Posted

      Yikes. I've had a holter monitor, too-years ago. Everything checked out fine, thank goodness.

      I hope your results tomorrow reveal nothing serious. Let us know! I'll be thinking of you. Hang in there smile

    • trinity03
      trinity03 t29513

      Posted

      I'm so sorry. Hormones can be our best friend or worst enemy, eh?! 

      I just checked out a book at the library about perimenopause called "I'm too Young for This". And although it's by Suzanne Sommers, it's really good so far! 

      It's also pretty encouraging. 

    • Eliaimee1970
      Eliaimee1970 trinity03

      Posted

      I will as soon as I get them!!! I do feel pregnopause lol🤪🤪🤪

    • t29513
      t29513 Eliaimee1970

      Posted

      They do make you feel like you're having a heart attack, it's awful!!!!  They put the portable monitor on me for 2 days and said everything was fine.  I have pains in the same places, left arm, shoulder, neck, chest, back (upper and lower) and head.  It's crazy to think that your hormones can send so many things into utter chaos!!  For about the last 6 months or so I have been experiencing PMS cramping and I NEVER had it before.  My periods went from normal to Flooding and Ultra Tampon every 4 hours for 3 days out of my cycle with heavy clotting to now being very normal again.  The cramps however have continued.  I don't expect to feel like I'm 20 again, I just want to feel stable.  Lots of positive energy and vibes on the Ultra Sound results, I hope you get some relief and everything is okay!

       

    • t29513
      t29513 trinity03

      Posted

      Indeed they can!!!!  I guess this is my karma for very easy periods and pregnancies.  

      I am entirely too young for this, at least mentally!!!  The mood swings and heart palpitations are the worst.  I won't take an anti-depressant, so we'll have to figure something else out there, but I plan on doing something!!

      I'll definitely look into the book, thanks for the heads up!!

       

    • Eliaimee1970
      Eliaimee1970 t29513

      Posted

      Thanks the results for the ultrasound will be sent to my doctor on  Monday .  I hope everything is ok too just a bad period pains ( that’s what I’m hoping for ) I did 30 minutes work out for the first time in 3 weeks . 
    • trinity03
      trinity03 Eliaimee1970

      Posted

      Thinking of you and your ultrasound results. I don't know if you posted about it anywhere-I didn't see. Hope you're well! smile

  • maria76995
    maria76995 trinity03

    Posted

    Hi, does those Anxiety meds work I need something to keep me quiet..I getting frustrated I just want to feel me..I. in Post my Dr ain't helping me at all I wake up with my heart pounding a true nightmare for me too at least you have something to tAke the edge of keep going girl

    • trinity03
      trinity03 maria76995

      Posted

      Anxiety meds are tricky, because you have to find the right dose and specific medication. There are so many available that it could take a while. And THEN, there's a "breakiing in" period. Sometimes you may feel worse before feeling better. But if you stick it out for a month, there is relief. 

      The first med she put me on made me have horrible nightmares and I felt even more anxious.

      I'm on Lexapro now, and a super small dose, because I'm sensitive to medication and a tiny person.

      But, I do feel more "even-keeled" and not panicky or distraught all the time. 

      If you do go the anxiety med route, do some research and really talk to your doc about which will be best for you. smile

  • maria76995
    maria76995 trinity03

    Posted

    Hi trinity, I lost weight too, and my appetite ain't good but I eat still..I'm slim I can't afford too, my mum has the same as yours so I can't go by her..I'm trying to force myself to get on and do things like in doors..I go out shop and not myself but just hoping to see me back soon my legs are skinny too 

    • trinity03
      trinity03 maria76995

      Posted

      The weight loss seems to be such an uncommon side-effect, so it's comforting to see others experience it. At first I attributed it to anxiety/no appetite/nothing tasting good. Now, I have my appetite back but having a hard time putting weight back on. In a million years I never thought I'd have that problem! Even when I was pregnant I didn't have to try to put it on....I just did.  smile 

      It does help to get out and do things. It's HARD though. I KNOW. I would force myself to at least get outside for a few minutes or get to the store. It made me anxious but it at least made me feel more human and normal for a bit. 

      Hang in there!!!

  • vicky77852
    vicky77852 trinity03

    Posted

    Hi! I’m 42 and diagnosed with POF a year ago. I’m on hrt which is crucial for our future health. All your symptoms are due to the lack of estrogen and are very common at peri. Talk with your gyn and take care of yourself. Hope it helps!
    • trinity03
      trinity03 vicky77852

      Posted

      Thanks smile I had an appointment with my midwife last week. She was great about listening to me whine and vent. She's nearly 60 so she understands. At this point in the whole peri process she's reluctant to put me on any kind of medication. For now she's suggesting Vitamin D3 and exercise. I recently started an anti anxiety med, so that's covered. 

      This has been a whole learning experience in taking more time for me and letting others help and take care of me. 

      As a wife, mom, and nanny, pet owner, etc... I'm always taking care of others. My family has really stepped up and I'm doing more for myself lately. 

      Still feel yucky a lot of time, but working through it.

      Thanks again!

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