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philosophical ocd and anxiety

Posted , 9 users are following.

alison82593
alison82593

Ever since I was a young teenager I have suffered from anxiety and panic attacks. Usually from worrying about my health. Now I'm in my 20's and things are different. About a month ago I had a really bad pabic attack. Afterwards for weeks my anxiety was constant. I couldn't eat or sleep. I literally was scared i was lising my nind. I Google all these mental illnesses that only made me feel worse. Now it's at the point where I'm questioning everything. I have really bad derealization. My mind is racing non stop with random crazy thoughts. Like thinking what if the world and everything around me is in my imagination. Everything feels so unreal and sometimes it feels so real that things around me aren't real. These thoughts race through my mind all day. It's like i feel anxious being alive. I question things like why I'm I here. Why do I exist. I'm not suicidal or anything just very anxious. I always fear im going to lose control and go insane or do something embarrassing like freak out. Everything just looks so weird to me. Like everything! When I talk it doesn't even feel like me. I've read a lot about this stuff but now it's pretty severe this time around. I've spoke to a phsycologist and phsycatrist. Has anyone else had these thoughts? Also lately random memories keep popping in my head from like years ago. It's like my mind is on overdrive going through memories and random thoughts. It's so weird. I feel like im trying to act normal but in the inside I'm feeling insane. The racing thoughts about existence and life and space etc. Is what bugs me the most along with the derealization. They just never stop. When I talk to people it feels like they almost aren't even rea . Has anyone ANYONE dealt with this? I read about solopism and it freaked me out so now I've been obsessing over that! I feel like im going to be stick like this forever.

1 like, 45 replies

45 Replies

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  • allison1984
    allison1984 alison82593

    Posted

    Oh and I forgot to write ive also got ocd so I know how bad your racing thoughts are the obsessing is insane. Ocd is a monster
  • nina11225
    nina11225 alison82593

    Posted

    Hellooo, I'm not sure if you two are still on here, but I just wanted to say i've been dealing with literally the exact same thing. It started a few months ago in November when I randomly started getting really anxious about my health. The fears shifted from heart attacks, to cancer, to brain tumors, pretty much every single terminal health condition you could think of. I was having panic attacks every day. Then, in December, I looked up schizophrenia on the computer because I was curious about it and then started obsessing over the symptoms and delusions, etc. One day in January, I got this really strange thought, "What if I actually  do have schizophrenia and everyone is a figment of my imagination?". This thought has never left me for the past 2/3 months, and I don't know if I'll ever get back to normal. I fell like i've just gone completely insane. I also get the occasional, "What is life", "Why do I exist", "One day I'm going to die, so what's the point in anything", etc. thoughts as well. I'm 14 and I'm afraid that I've ruined my life because I cannot stop thinking about this stuff no matter what I do. So if you recover from this please help? And your guys aren't alone. smile
    • allison1984
      allison1984 nina11225

      Posted

      Hi Nina sorry your dealing with so much have you seen a dr or been diagnosed with ocd or anxiety? Your obsessing is the same as me i looked up schizophrenia once and started to obsess that I would start to get the delusional thoughts like a schizophrenic i actually got to a point were i was convinced i was phycotic but finaly saw a psychiatrist and hes confirmed that I do not have schizophrenia or any phycociss it made me feel alot better but with typical ocd i still have that fear in the back of my mind what if. I saw a ocd therapist yrs ago and she was really great it helped me get over a rough patch i Was going through im waiting to see her in may in the mean time im still seeing a psychiatrist. If you wont to ask any questions just pm me or post on here good luck hun
    • alison82593
      alison82593 nina11225

      Posted

      Scizophrenia is actually not as common as you think. Unlike anxiety or ocd people with ocd actually have something wrong with their brian. I've feared all those things too. Ocd is more than just handwashing and counting. It can make your mind race with crazy thoughts non stop. The biggest one that bugs me is the whole world as an imagination thing. With ocd you think so deep it starts to feel real. My advice is speak to a professional and get outside and interact with people as much as possible
    • alison82593
      alison82593

      Posted

      People with scizophrenia having something wrong with their brain I meant. I said ocd but I meant scizophrenia
    • Jenijar
      Jenijar nina11225

      Posted

      Hi Nina, I've been bothered by my thoughts of life not making sense for around 5-6 months now, I deeply analyse everything and it seems to lose meaning and then I think how life is so unbelievable how can it be real and what's the point in doing things if it all means nothing. I to worry that I'll never get back to normal. I feel so unsafe as I feel my whole outlook on life has been challenged
  • Jenijar
    Jenijar alison82593

    Posted

    Hi Alison, I'm going through a similar sort of thing, I feel like life as a whole doesn't make sense and it's all so unbelievable how can it be real. Normal Things seem strange to me. I'm over analysing and deconstructing everything in my mind until things lose their meaning. You know if you think of a word too long it's starts to seem strange and lose it's meaning that's how I feel bout most things! I keep worrying that things are just going to stop making sense to me, every time I do or say something I analyse in my mind whether it makes sense. These thoughts are constant, every second of the day it seems. It's been causing me such anxiety that my dr sent me to the mental health crisis team at A&E, I saw a doctor and he has diagnosed me with OCD and said that it's these obsessive thoughts causing the anxiety, they have given me some tablets for the anxiety and are referring me for therapy. I feel like I can't do hardly anything at the moment. Doing things seems pointless if life has no meaning. How are you doing now?
  • filipe96038
    filipe96038 alison82593

    Posted

    Hey Alison, I hope you are feeling better. You are certainly not alone, as I feel the same from time to time. Anxiety never really leaves a person as it is part of the personality I think. Even if this last sentence is true, please do not despair. There is a trick and that trick is to detach from these thoughts. Take every bout of anxiety, accept it, don't judge yourself and believe, right there, at that very moment that it is going to pass. I always does. In the mean time try to connect to other people do something that others would appreciate, as little as making tea for someone. Try to love. All humans suffer in a way or another. People that have anxiety are lucky because they are aware of their own suffering and want to change and be better. That is for me the deepest meaning of compassion: to transform suffering. If you share the burden of someone the whole will suffer less if you are compassionate with yourself you will suffer less too. 

    Take care!

  • timeetim
    timeetim alison82593

    Posted

    There's so many people on this thread that have the same problems as me...Alison you need to realize that you're DEFINATELY NOT alone!!!

    I've been having these problems all my life too, but lately it's been much worse, i feel for you. If you need to, add me on facebook or whatever smile

  • peter42632
    peter42632 alison82593

    Posted

    Hey Alison. I find it reassuring to read things like this because it helps me realise that I'm not alone and that these are just things that happen to people. You and I can't both be the centre of the universe after all smile

    If you're anything like me, you have always been inquisitive, questioning and intelligent. I think we can get away with bigging ourselves up a tiny bit. Because the price of that, and not channelling it properly can be extreme and random philosophical anxiety.

    I've dealt with it by realising that anxiety and panic erupt to warn me about real life bad situations. Attacks lessen over time, although these memories remain. But improving your real life and being mindful help.

    Good luck and real love from me, on a beach in Portugal.

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