PLEASE HELP ME

Posted , 9 users are following.

Hello, I'm new to this forum and am hoping to get some help/advice/support. I have an alcohol problem and I don't know how to help myself. I have so much to be grateful for in my life (a good job, wonderful family, I'm a mum-on-the-go) and yet I cannot seem to find the strength to stop drinking for good - which I know is the only way I can beat this. I am hurting my kids and partner when I drink too much (which in fairness is every time I drink - I don't have an "off" button) Today is the start of my journey and I need some friendly supporters to help me through when things get bad. I have been trying to stop for about 6 months now and can do 2/3 days easily enough (with mildish withdrawal symptoms usually) but then I will just go buy a bottle (actually usually 2) of wine and drink myself silly. I don't get cravings for it so I don't understand why I buy it after doing the hard work of stopping? It makes no sense to me. I feel so down and I can't talk to anyone in my life about it. I hate what alcohol is doing to my life, body and mind. I am very ashamed at how weak I am. I won't go to the doctor so I want to do this myself with any support out there who has been through this themselves or who has experience in supporting alcoholics. I live in Kent. Thanks for taking the time to read this. Just admitting I have a problem to myself is a very small step forward for me.

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  • Posted

    hi i am a recovering alcohic my first bit of advice,would be to see your doctor, tell him/her EVERYTHING they will help you to come to terms with things,please dont be ashamed you have made a very big step by posting on this site,you are not a bad person, you are a ill person, alcoholism is a illness, there is help out there,i am sure your partner will support you all the way, but you have to make that big step and get help, i wish you all the luck in the world feel free to pm me 
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  • Posted

    You must withdraw from alcohol very slowly. You can have,serious withdrawal

    symptoms.

    You seriously need to get help from your GP, UNITY, AA , CADAS.

    All of these groups can help you.

    You have made the first,step by posting on here.

    Take the next step by,seeing someone who can help you in person.

    No one judges you after all we are all addicted to something coffee, tea,

    chocolate, meat pies you name it.

    The difference from is you are destroying yourself with alcohol, but it can be cured but you need professional help and medication.

    Please do this, I have seen so much of this including alcohol dementia, yes you can pickle your brain and we all know if dementia.

    We will help,and support you, we won't judge but you must get help from any of the above organisations.

    It would be wise to let your GP know as he can help you with Important medication. The organisations can't do that.

    The medication will make giving up easier with less withdrawal symptoms.

    This will help you

    Go for it...

    Keep posting xcx

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    • Posted

      Wise words. Can you tell me what CADAS is and Unity? I attend AA and am back on the programme after a relapse. I managed 7 years but am now only 7 days but a day at a time... Did it before and am determined to get back on track.

      Xx

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    • Posted

      Wise words. Can you tell me what CADAS is and Unity? I attend AA and am back on the programme after a relapse. I managed 7 years but am now only 7 days but a day at a time... Did it before and am determined to get back on track.

      Xx

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    • Posted

      Wise words. Can you tell me what CADAS is and Unity? I attend AA and am back on the programme after a relapse. I managed 7 years but am now only 7 days but a day at a time... Did it before and am determined to get back on track.

      Xx

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  • Posted

    hi i am a recovering alcholic you must go and see your doctor it is confidential.  Also it is not a weakness it is an illness, if you had cancer you would go and get treatment would'nt you.

    There is so much for you to live for you are not a bad person please do not think this, this is what the illness of alcolishm is all about it is an obsession of the mind so that you are thinking about drinking even when you are not and you have a very real physical addiction/allergy to the ethanol in the alcohol this is why you find it so hard to stop once you have started.

    My doctor prescribed librium to taper off and then i took the biggest step in my life i rang Alcoholics Anomymous and go to the meetings I am now sober and have been for a year next week!  It so does work.  But, we cannot do this alone we need other people in the same boat as yourself.

    Lots of ladies with young children and husbands are in recovery it is an

    illness which does not discriminate whether you are rich or poor, whatever race,

    lady or man.  But, there is help and hope.

    Wishing you all the luck in the world.

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    • Posted

      Richard, that is very unlikely. It is more likely if you have been placed on a section of the Mental Health Act at some point which can exclude you from some jobs or affect you being able to emigrate to some countries. I don't know of a profession which excludes people who have had an alcohol problem in the past.

      There are ways of getting an alcohol detox without going through your GP, but they will cost as they are private.

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  • Posted

    Hello smile Have you heard of the drug Nalmefene? It has recently been made available on the NHS in England and has been available for some time in Scotland. It is for people who are drinking a little too much. The recommendation is 3 pints a day or the equivalent, but I think most Drs would give some leeway on that. It helps to stop you drinking too much by stopping the reward that heavy drinkers get from doing so.

    You have said that you won't speak to your GP about it. There is no reason for shame. Lots of people get into trouble with alcohol and one of the professions where alcohol addiction is the highest is doctors!or that week and not to drive until at least day 6 as the medication makes you tired. You would get NO withdrawal symptoms at all if the dosage was correct. That would give you a good start of one week to get you going. It doesn't guarantee that you won't drink again but it is the essential starting point for most people who have a physical dependence on alcohol.

    Beyond that, you could do with talking through your issues with someone to work out what prompts your drinking.

    The best thing I can say about your GP is that he/she will find out anyway when you are in a much worse state, if you don't do something soon. Most GPs are glad to deal with a problem in the early stages than when you have all sorts of other health problems as a result of longterm heavy drinking.

    As you can see from the replies so far, you will get plenty of support here from people and you can always send a private message to any members if you feel the need.

    Don't tell yourself you are weak. There are plenty of very strong people who get into difficulty with alcohol smile

    As an alcohol treatment practitioner, my view, from what you have described is that an alcohol detox would be the best solution. This would consist of taking tablets for a week which started on high doses and reduced over the week. You would need to be able to rest f

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    • Posted

      Something seems to have gone wrong with my post above. Reposting the offending paragraph:

      You have said that you won't speak to your GP about it. There is no reason for shame. Lots of people get into trouble with alcohol and one of the professions where alcohol addiction is the highest is doctors! As an alcohol treatment practitioner, my view, from what you have described is that an alcohol detox would be the best solution. This would consist of taking tablets for a week which started on high doses and reduced over the week. You would need to be able to rest for that week and not to drive until at least day 6 as the medication makes you tired. You would get NO withdrawal symptoms at all if the dosage was correct. That would give you a good start of one week to get you going. It doesn't guarantee that you won't drink again but it is the essential starting point for most people who have a physical dependence on alcohol.

      (ignore the last paragraph in the previous post, it was the missing part of the earlier paragraph  smile )

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  • Posted

    Hi l am happy you are trying to do something about your alcohol l use to do the same as you l would drink for no reason 2 bottles of wine, or 3, get drunk think l am been fun to my family. l tried to stop but found it hard, l started telling myself that alcohol does not make me hhappy or my family happy, and with that thought l now only drink once in a blue moon, my brain has just switched and l cannot believe l have replaced wine with diet Coke, and l feel so good, l now enjoy sex bcoz alcohol reduces the feeliing u get,l did not get help from my Doctor as it would stay on my file for ever, just try to focus, tryy to cut dowwn if you can and talk to your self and brain on why u are letting your family down for no reason at all, if u have time when u see this message check the CT Scan difference of a alcoholic and a sober brain, l am not saying u are a alcoholic l know u are not as u go 3 days dry, goodluck feel free to chat anytime as l know how difficult it is to stop bcoz the other friend in your brain will tell u just one more bottle of wine will not do u bad, cheers
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  • Posted

    I entered a long reply, but being computer challenged I lost the whole thing. Don't want to start over. So here goes - I'm 76, drinking vodka since 15 with the Polish band, alcoholic at 15, went on to law school, including Yale, on fellowships and scholarships, ran a law firm of 40 people. But, also heavy exercise, long distance running 1.7 times around the earth, still work out 1-1 1/2 hours per day, allergic to beer and wine, rely on good old vodka for 60 years, and grass - which is legal here for arthritis. On any day could go 2/3 of day without drinking until happy hour with my wife. Personally, it's not that harmful in my judgment (drink one pint a day), can still ride a bike 20-40 miles, row and hour per day, swim 1/2 hour.

    My wife doesn't want me to quit drinking, altho, I did so for 14 months recently. She says -- I just ain't fun. Get into heavy exercise 2-4 hours per day, excessive meditation (Zen), playing keyboard (which again is solitary), and miss the best part of life, sitting on our deck, looking at the bay, talking and laughing. Suppose I'll croak at some point, altho I'm a hell of a lot stronger than a lot of the guys at the gym 10 years younger. Haven't found it as harmful as some think.

    So with 60 years of drinking under my belt, try to drink, yeah and be silly sometimes, I figure my pint contains more alcohol than your two bottles of wine -- try a bottle, glass of water in between each glass, or two - it lenghtens and time and dilutes the effect. 

    I suppose everyone else who responds will disagee, BUT having a time of laughing and joy an hour or two a day with my wife must amerliorate the negative aspects of all my drinking. 

     

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    • Posted

      But Robert, NeedHelp says it with her name, She isn't happy with her situation and wants to stop drinking like she does. For her, drinking isn't a positive experience. If you are happy with what you do and feel good, nobody should tell you not to do it, same as she shouldn't be told she should carry on and be happy smile

      Glad you are enjoying life and well done on how fit you are! smile

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    • Posted

      thank you Robert and I am envious that you can drink heavily and still be in control in your life. However I feel I should clarify something, particularly for other heavy drinkers out there who are in the early stages of acceptance/recovery: alcohol controls me, not the other way around. My excessive drinking causes me to not be the fun loving person I usually am and I have done some foolish things under the heavy influence of alcohol that I am ashamed/scared of eg falling over and banging my head on a toilet because I was blind drunk and much more that I won't go into as I don't one to impeach myself... The rate at which my drinking is getting out of control can only lead me down a destructive path that will end in injury/death or imprisonment. This is the plain truth of where I am and I suspect there are many other out there similar to me that need to be thinking about eliminating alcohol from their lives rather than cutting down. Because for me, at this point in my life I will be kidding myself if I believe I can cut down and stay in control of my alcohol intake.
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    • Posted

      You have to be strong from your message to Robert, you are a alcoholic women who needs to stop drinking at all as if the near future it could affect your marriage, start by telling your friends and relatives that you are stopping alcohol from today this will keep u in check, and l am sure they will be relieved, you can also join AA for help good luck.
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    • Posted

      I've never been where you are, but I have stopped temporarily a number of times. The range was a maximum of 14 months, and I became a gym rat. My method? was to simply stop (I have been informed since then, that the route I chose was dangerous - one needs help on the comedown, and in some cases appropriate medical intervention). The meetings help - 30 days - 30 meetings. But my experience is that the meetings are a real downer - but, for many people they work.

      My main point is that reaching age 76, I've already lived my life, and a hell of a lot more than I expected (dad died at 39, mom at 52). Under this set of circumstances , and this set of circumstances only, I'm quite willing to carry on in my usual fashion, drinking a pint of vodka and smoking some dope. (it's cheap entertainment when you're old), and works for me. Obviously, you can't continue on your present path. So talk to a doc, attend the meetings, prepare for some quite visible changes in your behavior, satisfy yourself by developing a resource in great water, (diet orange drink, mixed with tonic water worked for me - to trick my mind into thinking I was having a cocktail - Arnold Palmers do the same).

       

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    • Posted

      your reply to needhelp, in my mind is not the reply she needed she wants help to stop not to carry on,take it from a man who nearly died(in fact i did die but i was brought back thank god) you seem a very healthy person. but not everyone is as healthy as you i wish her so much luck to stop. 
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