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Please help me, my life's a misery

Posted , 12 users are following.

dan81454
dan81454

I'm male, 17 years old and I'm in my last year of studying in my local sixth form. This is the first post I've done but I really need help because my life is a misery. I've had strange bowel movements for 5-6 years now but in the last couple years it's got significantly worse. It started when I was doing my GCSE exams when I as 15 and I one exam I had the sudden urge to use the toilet. As you can imagine this was quite stressful for me because I knew what was coming but I couldn't do anything to stop it. I eventually got to the toilet but I couldn't continue with my exam due to the severity of my diarrhea. This continued throughout my exams and I started to develop a severe anxiety problem. I had to do the remainder of my exams in a seperate room and sitting in a room for 2 hours with no distractions to take your mind off needing the toilet was very very difficult. Since then I've had my ups and downs. I've been to the doctors and was prescribed loperamide (which I take 3-4 each day) and saw a specialist but they thought it was the anxiety triggering it. I knew for a fact it wasn't but I couldn't challenge his judgement. I was sort of cast aside by the NHS after that. I had to give up playing rugby and my place in an academy rugby team which was awful for me but I couldn't even go to training because of my combination of diarrhea and anxiety. I also ran out of an airport when I was due to go on holiday because I couldn't face the flight. There are a long list of things I have missed out on which make me feel awful.

These days I struggle going to school. Even my 40 minute bus journey is difficult to do without needing to go. I miss lessons frequently which has had a big impact on my education and grades. I'm supposed to be going to university next year but I'm scared I won't be able to cope with my IBS (although I haven't been diagnosed). I just don't know where to turn too next.

I struggle going out the house in all honesty, I've had to quit my job after a series of shifts where I just couldn't stay. I pass loose stools at least 4-5 times per day but I get the urge to go much more frequently than that. My anxiety isn't as bad as it was but my stomach is just the same. It's ruining my life and I feel so down and low. It's very embarrassing for me and only a few people know the true nature of my problem. I just need advice and help on how to overcome and manage this problem because I honestly don't know how long I can put up with this for.

Thanks in advance.

0 likes, 30 replies

30 Replies

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  • brooke88
    brooke88 dan81454

    Posted

    Have you seen a GI SPECIALIST? I was recently diagnosed from one. My problem is just like yours except I'm 28 now and also was recently told I have endometriosis and those mixed is painful and triggers my IBS more than normal. I had surgery to remove the endometriosis so it's not as bad but it comes back so it's something I'll deal with all my life.

    Definitely understand where you are and how you feel being so young with this and being in the position You are in for school and sports. You need to try a gluten free diet for a month and see if that helps you. I kept a journal I guess you could say when I first started having issues and when went to doctor I showed them my log and my primary family doctor actually had the push for my GI on me having IBS. I had a colonoscopy and nothing really showed up except my bowel was bloated it nothing crazy enough to be alarmed of anything. But i tried medicines for a while never really helped some to strong where I would get sick so they finally found a low dosage medicine and it helps more than other medicines I have tried.

    There is medicine I take that helps for the pain; anxiety comes with the IBS and also have medicine when needed bc I was getting random anxiety attacks and its scary to have those especially in the middle of a restaurant or in public, even when your on your own.

    I try to take deep breaths when I feel one coming on. I lye down if at home or if in a vehicle I have to find a way to relax and breathe to calm myself bc when I sometimes get the anxiety attacks it will trigger my IBS so that's a horrible thing to deal with. I hope you can get something out of this post. Managing IBS is very hard.

    I miss work a lot as well and scared to go far places and I hate trying to do things. I'm getting married in October and I'm nervous about my wedding day and my problem ruining that happy experience and honeymoon we are driving to GATLINBURG TN because of my problem. So I'm limited a lot as well. You need to research more on it and you can maybe find things to help you.

    • dan81454
      dan81454 brooke88

      Posted

      Hi Brooke. I'm due to see a bowel specialist soon but because I was under the age of 18, I was only referred to pediatrics which was extremely annoying. I'm supposed to be having a colonoscopy which I am very nervous about because I live over an hours drive from the nearest hospital. I just find everything difficult and it's a horrible embarrassing situation I'm in. I feel like I'm letting my family down by not getting the grades they expect from me but I can't help it. I'm so worried about going to university. How do you cope with working?
    • brooke88
      brooke88 dan81454

      Posted

      Yes, they say age is big thing when it comes to colonscopies my fiancé and I had that problem. He was having issues as well same but The same in some ways and we never figured out what was going on with him. He had an upper and lower done on him first and he was 25 when he had it done. I had mine done when I was 27. Times have changed and we had to go back and forth with many doctors to get the best medical attention possible. You are never a disappointment to people that love you and care for you. Your parents will definitely understand your struggle of what's going on. Your more important to them than grades; the struggle of trying to stay focused in studies will be hard. Have you maybe spoke with your professor or principal and talked about your situation and let them know so maybe they can work something out for you to keep up with your studies with your condition?

      I know it embarrassing to talk about with others that don't understand what your going through; but if school and sports are important to you to accomplish it couldn't hurt to talk to your coach and you school. Maybe something will come up for a way for you to do accomplish both.

      Some people have different stages,I call it of IBS. Some worse than others, and it will be hard to always keep focus on things in your life. You push yourself even when you have no energy left to push. Surround yourself with positive energy, that makes a huge difference. Like myself I am a family person always have been. If you are as well or have a significant other or best friend or close friends that will be supportive and try and help with whatever support you need going through this definitely do that, because I have noticed I don't stress as much and I'm level headed for the most part,& I'm calmer.

      Working is a struggle, I have been at this job and I absolutely love my job. Great people I work for and they are very understanding bc they know I have been going through a lot with this. I have been here almost a year. And this started getting real bad when I was here for just a month. I was so worried I would get let go because i went through a staffing company so the first three months was not a permanent thing yet. It was embarrassing having to worry about if I would have to go to the restroom bc I do inventory and such so I'm in big building no restrooms in all just my office and another building. I have had to leave work so many times or sometimes couldn't even make it to work bc I was hurting so bad. It's depressing at some points but I have a great support system now with this and they understand this is something serious and it really does affect day to day life for a person. I feel like I'm annoying when it comes to this problem because of me constantly worrying for certain things especially with my fiancé bc we like tosh and he likes to golf and like the beach or the river and IBS doesn't do well with places that has no restrooms near by. It's a struggle but we make it though it.

      I hope you never think your not going to make it through the struggle, because you will. Push yourself, and you have this site to where now you can talk to anyone with the same problems as you to get through this. Your young and hopefully something will work for you. When you go to a doctor to get your colonoscopy things will be ruled out like someone said in comments below. Patients is definitely something you have to have or learn to have for this. I researched online about our condition and I know people that have lived with it for year and years, and that helps me in some ways to see what worked for them and all of them have different things that help no trigger there IBS. But most say watch your eating habits that can help in big way, and the stressful part you can try and manage that like I had mentioned up above. You def have support from me on getting better abs learning how to control what can.

      You got this never give up.

    • brooke88
      brooke88

      Posted

      * we like to fish
    • dan81454
      dan81454 brooke88

      Posted

      I finish sixth form on Friday so it's not really worth it. The school have been made aware of my condition but still don't really consider it to be an excuse not to be in lessons and things. I find them extremely annoying. I just find it very embarrassing to talk about with people. It totally destroyed a relationship I had because I couldn't tell the girl I was with because it was too embarrassing so I had to end it. She kept saying I was acting strangely. How do you cope in a relationship with someone when you have IBS?
    • brooke88
      brooke88 dan81454

      Posted

      Oh ok; well I would see how that's annoying for school. Some people just don't understand.

      Relationships are all about communication, trust, and being able to be there for one another. I was very shy about things with my fiancé. This started before we got serious. And then once things got worse and we were getting serious, him and I discussed things that have been going on and how random this had happened. Like you I was very active in activities, always doing something. This slowed me down for a while and still does sometimes.

      We are doing a lot better on telling each other things, no matter what situation it is or topic it's about. Of coarse you will have times where they will be annoyed bc sometimes you don't realize how much you talk about it once you have opened up. I have learned how to talk with my spouse on things needed to know. Don't over do the details if don't feel comfortable but you always need some form of communication so you and your spouse are on same level of understanding. If they do not understand and you feel that you won't get the support and they don't think they can handle being with someone with this condition then it's not meant to be. Like I was saying positive people around you. When you have that someone you can trust you will know.

      I hope I helped on the questions you asked.

      I also hope you get some answers and are able to get some form of structure back for yourself as well. Don't give up, the people who deal with this can always find some way to get through it. We are all different maybe something will help you. I have reads lot of people under your post; really good advice from everyone.

    • dan81454
      dan81454 brooke88

      Posted

      I totally understand where you're coming from there. I just find it hard to trust people with this information because people could use it against you and treat you differently. I normally say to people I have a sickness thing because it's not quite as embarrassing. Yeah I'm quite overwhelmed with the amount of suggestions I'm receiving.
    • Jo38983
      Jo38983 dan81454

      Posted

      Hi Dan,

      Im so sorry to hear what your going through, I have IBS but no where near as bad as yours! I got my ibs after a bad incident of food poisoning back in november 2015 and have been struggling since! Im just about to finish my second year at uni and it has been a struggle!

      You mentioned that you have plans to go to uni and I would say dont let your IBS stop you from going, dont let it defeat you! Once you graduate from your degree it will be much more of an accomplishment for you!

      I recently discovered that having IBS is considered a disability in the University's eyes (or at my uni anyways). This means that you will be able to get extra help! For example if you are too ill to go to lectures, someone will go in your place and take notes down for you, and when it comes to exams, you can be put into a smaller room and you can leave to use to loo whenever you need, I hear they pause the time for you, then start it when you get back. Ive just sat a 3 hour exam on friday and got through it will the help of imodiums, but next time i might ask.

      Before you go to uni, i'd just say keep going back to your doctor to look for answers, use this summer to try different medicines and diets to see if these can ease your symtoms, please dont let it get in the way of getting a degree, I refuse to let mine do so, its been hard but when i finish my last exam its so much more worth it! I know its hard, its taken over my life all because of 1 badly reheated meal, I just keep wishing to go back in time to enjoy the days where i could leave the house without worrying about falling ill, now i keep thinking positive, its a hard thing to do but it does help! Good luck and I hope you find answers! 

      Jo

    • Jo38983
      Jo38983 dan81454

      Posted

      Hi Dan,

      Im so sorry to hear what your going through, I have IBS but no where near as bad as yours! I got my ibs after a bad incident of food poisoning back in november 2015 and have been struggling since! Im just about to finish my second year at uni and it has been a struggle!

      You mentioned that you have plans to go to uni and I would say dont let your IBS stop you from going, dont let it defeat you! Once you graduate from your degree it will be much more of an accomplishment for you!

      I recently discovered that having IBS is considered a disability in the University's eyes (or at my uni anyways). This means that you will be able to get extra help! For example if you are too ill to go to lectures, someone will go in your place and take notes down for you, and when it comes to exams, you can be put into a smaller room and you can leave to use to loo whenever you need, I hear they pause the time for you, then start it when you get back. Ive just sat a 3 hour exam on friday and got through it will the help of imodiums, but next time i might ask.

      Before you go to uni, i'd just say keep going back to your doctor to look for answers, use this summer to try different medicines and diets to see if these can ease your symtoms, please dont let it get in the way of getting a degree, I refuse to let mine do so, its been hard but when i finish my last exam its so much more worth it! I know its hard, its taken over my life all because of 1 badly reheated meal, I just keep wishing to go back in time to enjoy the days where i could leave the house without worrying about falling ill, now i keep thinking positive, its a hard thing to do but it does help! Good luck and I hope you find answers! 

      Jo

  • philippa61759
    philippa61759 dan81454

    Posted

    I think the doctor could be right about the anxiety triggering your symptoms especially because you are getting diarrhoea during your exam period.  Stress and anxiety are strongly linked with IBS.  My IBS began after stress. It was only after my eighth doctor asked me about recent stressful events that I remembered that I had had  a number of stress episodes the year before my symptoms appeared.  I hadn't made the connection previously.

    It may well be that during the exam period, you have been so involved in revising and sitting the exams that you have not noticed the connection.   Don't worry that the doctor suggested anxiety because they have to ask about it in order to make an IBS diagnosis.

    I don't think the NHS have cast you off.  It is more that they simply don't know what is wrong.  It can seem like that at first.  It took me three and a half months to get answers and one doctor told me openly that she hadn't got a clue.  Ask for an ultrasound, colonoscopy/barium enema, CT scan, endoscopy, stool and a celiac test. If all these are negative, IBS can be diagnosed.

     

  • Sara_Jane
    Sara_Jane dan81454

    Posted

    All responses really good advice. My advice find something where you can switch off  ie. music -learn an instrument. Do this at least once a day seek help if you need advice. You need to teach yourself how to do this and it will be difficult but you can get your life back. Good Luck.
  • jan48389
    jan48389 dan81454

    Posted

    I agree with the other posts Dan - anxiety can be a major trigger for IBS. Because I'd had several episodes of desperately needing the loo when travelling for any length of time, I got to the point where, if I had been driving for more than 30 mins or so, I was starting to panic that I was going to need a loo. It was becoming a vicious circle and got to the point where I simply wouldn't eat if I was going anywhere. Since following the Low FODMAP diet I have felt in control and able to manage my condition, which in turn has pretty much elimated the anxiety. Have you been advised to try Low FODMAP?

    Jan

    • dan81454
      dan81454 jan48389

      Posted

      Hi Jan. No I haven't yet, I'm supposed to be going to see a bowel specialist and I think I'm having a colonoscopy as well. I've tried a non lactose diet to see if I was lactose intolerant but that didn't have an impact. I find it I eat any food in the morning (before 1 at the earliest) I can feel the food inside me and I become very bloated and get an acidic feeling in my stomach. Sometime when I feel like I'm in a pressured situation, I need the toilet urgently when I was fine before I got put in that situation.
  • emma72706
    emma72706 dan81454

    Posted

    Hey Dan,

    Trust me I know exactly what you're going through. Im 24 and from thr UK. First of all, have you had stool samples to check that the natural flora in your gut is in check? Have you tried a food diary to see which foods are triggers (if any)?

    I had clostridium difficile twice but now that I'm in the all clear I still have diarrhoea about 5-7 times daily, it completely ruined my life, I had to give up uni and I become seriously depressed due to it.. however my doctor put me on a tablet called codine phosphate and it's made my life so much easier, ask them about it!!

    The tablet helps with the pain for one, and as you probably know codine constipates yoy quite easily, I'm allowed to take 4 tablets daily but I just take one morning and one at night as that's the perfect balance for me. Now for the first time in a long time I'm not worried about going out and I'll be able to get back to my studies.

    I know this wasn't really what you were asking for, but as for pains, a hot bath or hot water bottle work wonders. I'd still look to see a GI specialist, but def enquire about those tablets. Let me know how you get on ☺

    • dan81454
      dan81454 emma72706

      Posted

      Hi Emma. Yes I've had stool samples taken and they came back all clear. I did a non lactose diet to check for lactose intolerance but there was no difference. Yeah I will definitely enquire about those tablets. I'm just really scared that I will be diagnosed with IBS and then not be able to manage my symptoms. I don't drink any fizzy drinks anymore because they were definetly a trigger, greasy foods like chips or any kind of fast food is a big no go too. I find that salty foods also can trigger me as a lot of fluid is pulled to your bowels when you digest salty foods.

      I don't want to go to university and then fall behind and have to drop out because of my symptoms. As you know, university is a massive financial burden for a family and I don't want to go and then throw the money down the drain basically. Thank you for your help though. I will inquire about those tablets.

    • philippa61759
      philippa61759 dan81454

      Posted

      If you are diagnosed with IBS, don't worry.  Although it is a horrible condition, it is not a dangerous one and can be managed with diet, relaxation techniques, and pain relief.  Before diagnosis, I was so terrified of being diagnosed with something serious and wished desperately for a non threatening, simple diagnosis.  When I found out I had IBS, I was so relieved and my panic and anxiety disappeared and my symptoms reduced.

      Now you have identified your trigger foods, this is a huge step forward in learning how to control your symptoms.

    • emma72706
      emma72706 dan81454

      Posted

      Honestly I get it, having digestive issues is such a tough thing to go through, but the codine honestly gave me the chance to go back and do all these again, I have no doubts that as long as I take the medicine I won't have any problems ☺ I'd also recommend doing meditation to help clear your mind as that will help with the anxiety side of things. I'd make an urgent appointment to talk to your Dr and see what they think. There isn't anything worse than feeling hopeless to the whole situation. Hope everything goes well!
    • emma72706
      emma72706 dan81454

      Posted

      Yeah as far as I know you can't get codine phosphate any other way other than prescription. They'll be able to let you know if they think its suitable. I don't see why not as if you Google it, one of the reasons they prescribe it is for chronic diarrhoea x
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