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Please help me with personality disorder and if anyone can relate to.me

Posted , 5 users are following.

grantbond1991
grantbond1991

Hello.. I've recently been diagnosed with a personality disorder after 10 years of being told there is nothing wrong with me.. I would like to share my symptoms and see if people can relate to me and give advice..

1. It feels as a demon is in my mind but it's my own voice controlling it..

2. Random bursts of rage and anger but not aimed at anyone but myself

3.the voice in my mind screams at me e.g taking a shower the voice screams in pain at me as if it's burning.

4. Sat eating dinner can't sit with family as the noise of knives and forks makes my mind go awol.

5. Rash decision and suicide attempt what the voice told. me to do as it was screaming at me and I had enough.

6. Paranoia about everything.. Anxiety attacks..

Please if anybody has symptoms like. me please speak and I need advice how to deal with this...

2 likes, 21 replies

21 Replies

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  • andrew46586
    andrew46586 grantbond1991

    Posted

    You do know of course that psychiatry is a very inexact branch of medicine. Often doctors differ in this disipline. Indeed some would argue that there is no such thing as "personality disorder"

    I'm a general practitioner so not an expert in psychiatery. However, from what you are saying here, to me it sounds more like a form of schizophrenia than anything else. Is there a family history of this disease? What is really important though is that they find a medicine for you to give you some inner peace. What you are going though now must be horrible for you.

    • grantbond1991
      grantbond1991 andrew46586

      Posted

      Andrew Thankyou for replying.. I am going through he'll.. Only myself in my family has history of suicide attempts.. 2013 the voices got to much and I did attempt to take my own life.. But from this I am now in a lot of pain after hernias and bowel resection..

      I currently take 30mg of mirtazipine.. After the suicide attempt the psychiatric team said there was nothing wrong with me and discharged me...

      I just don't know what I can do or who I can turn too. I just need people with similar experiences to help... I'm now 24 but have been suffering since the age of 13... Through school and college I had to have counselling for depression but never made an improvement...

      It feels like there is something inside my mind screaming in constant pain... The outburst are the voice screaming abuse even though I'm physically calm and I'm a calm natured person I'm just scared one day it will take over me completely and lash out...

  • louise79427
    louise79427 grantbond1991

    Posted

    Hi Grant, I am bi polar and when am ill hear voices and get psychosis, then end up in hospital. An anti psychotic stops the voices and I take lithium and citalopram. You need to speak to your doctor asap. Hang in there x
    • grantbond1991
      grantbond1991 louise79427

      Posted

      Thankyou Louise.. It is affecting me every minute of everyday.. The moment I wake up in the morning the screaming starts.. Everything I do there is the voice screaming at me... I have been on citalopram but they did nothing for me.... I'm scared of being sectioned....

      Thankyou for the support x x

    • grantbond1991
      grantbond1991 louise79427

      Posted

      Hello Louise Thankyou for writing to me.. I have spoken to a doctor and currently waiting for another assessment I currently take mirtazipine.. They knock me out so I can sleep..

      It's just getting to me I hate being like this but no one understands where I am coming from xx x

    • louise79427
      louise79427 grantbond1991

      Posted

      When the voices start for me I contact my cpn straight away, as a couple of years ago the voices told me to take an overdose, and I ended up in intensive care. Luckily I came out of that one and went to hospital. I go into hospital voluntary, well so far. Last time I was in was January, has been a hard road, but am back at work part-time. Is that drug an anti psychotic? Hang in there and tell the doc about the voices x
    • grantbond1991
      grantbond1991 louise79427

      Posted

      The mirtazipine is a anti depressant.. The voice told me to crash my car which I did... Just going through he'll.. Apparently I'm not suitable for a cpn... I've HD one in the past but they said there's nothing they can do xx
    • louise79427
      louise79427 grantbond1991

      Posted

      You need an anti psychotic, as they stop the voices. Ask your doc for one and go into hospital voluntarily, it keeps you safe and they can sort your meds out too. I have had no voices for about 6 months now. I know how awful it is to go through this you need help to get rid of them. Call your doctor tomorrow and tell them everything. Big hug x
    • grantbond1991
      grantbond1991 louise79427

      Posted

      Thankyou Louise... It's just knowing how to out it to then as I get nervous and scrared...... Thankyou for the support xx

      I don't want people judging me and giving me a label... Just hate being like this.. Even something had having a shower takes it Al out of me xxx

    • louise79427
      louise79427 grantbond1991

      Posted

      You are stronger than you think, too go through this is hard, but you will get better, just get help and you will come out the other side. I find that rispiridone gets rid of the voices and being in hospital while you are going through it safer. Don't worry about being judged as you are a strong person, just need a anti psychotic and support. Big hug, let me know how you get on. If the voices get worse get to A & E x
    • louise79427
      louise79427 grantbond1991

      Posted

      Just remember you are not alone in this and meds and hospital will help get rid of the voices x
    • grantbond1991
      grantbond1991 louise79427

      Posted

      Thankyou Louise.. I have booked an appointment for Monday morning to see somebody and explain all to them... Just need to get through this.... I've been battling it for 10 years now and hopefully will be able to get through this before I go to insane... I will stay in contact with you.... Thankyou Louise x x x x
    • louise79427
      louise79427 grantbond1991

      Posted

      Am so gladsmile I have bi polar and have had this for 22 years. I have had years when I have been well and When I am Not I get the help and plod on till am better. You will get there, just let them know about the voices and whats going on and tell them how bad it is. Let me know how you get on and know you will get better. Lou x
    • grantbond1991
      grantbond1991 louise79427

      Posted

      Thankyou Louise. I'm 24 years old now.. Think it's time to get better.. It effects everything my friends family how I am with people..... And I will let you know for deffo.. It does get so bad that I just want to rip my hair out... Taking a shower it's continuously screaming like my brain is burning in pain... I have visions of my own brain seating itself.. Driving me crazy... Thing is I used to work in secure units.. Now il end up in one xxx Thankyou though it does really help me knowing people care xx
    • louise79427
      louise79427 grantbond1991

      Posted

      Nah, you won't end up in a secure unit, if you have to go to hospital you won't have to be there for too long, just enough time for meds to kick in and you get better. You might find you just get some meds and not even have to go in. Don't worry and you don't have long till you see doc. Have you got a friend you can hang out with for a bit?
    • grantbond1991
      grantbond1991 louise79427

      Posted

      Yeah I'm with my friends most days but they don't fully understand and think it just talking to myself and being moody.. I will let. You know who thing go x x x
    • louise79427
      louise79427 grantbond1991

      Posted

      Yeah, but hanging with your mates is good for you and they will care about you too. Good luck with doc, tell them everything as you don't have to suffer on your own x
    • grantbond1991
      grantbond1991 louise79427

      Posted

      Thankyou Louise much appreciated.. I will let you know on here how it goes x x x
    • grantbond1991
      grantbond1991 louise79427

      Posted

      Hello Louis sorry about the late reply... I went to see my psychiatric doctor and my psychotherapist.... They belive I don't have a mental health issue.... They belive I have a trapped spirit inside of me... Bit of a shock lol x
    • lena28240
      lena28240 grantbond1991

      Posted

      Hi, its rare for docs to diagnose about mysticism, so what are they suggesting? Did they give you any meds? How are you doing? 
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