Please help me with personality disorder and if anyone can relate to.me

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Hello.. I've recently been diagnosed with a personality disorder after 10 years of being told there is nothing wrong with me.. I would like to share my symptoms and see if people can relate to me and give advice..

1. It feels as a demon is in my mind but it's my own voice controlling it..

2. Random bursts of rage and anger but not aimed at anyone but myself

3.the voice in my mind screams at me e.g taking a shower the voice screams in pain at me as if it's burning.

4. Sat eating dinner can't sit with family as the noise of knives and forks makes my mind go awol.

5. Rash decision and suicide attempt what the voice told. me to do as it was screaming at me and I had enough.

6. Paranoia about everything.. Anxiety attacks..

Please if anybody has symptoms like. me please speak and I need advice how to deal with this...

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    I asume that you are still suffering and are still with us.

    I too have had all your symtems. the voises are your own thoughts but there are way to many coversations going on in the back ground to make sence of it all, its like a load of gesse gagaling inside your mind.

    I too have had an horrific child hood and blame my mother for the way I have been made to suffer and have suffered till just recently im now 51 years old.I tried the doctor route and councilling but trying to explane it all just does not work. years ago I was lucky to have the symtems completely removed in one night but they came back with a vengence over a long time and it took a second mental break down to start to recover again I liken the human brain to be like a computer and when we are young it all works good, but then somehow we downloaded a virus, like a worm that works through the operating system curupting certain areas. It can become very dangerous and the anger you feel is You getting angry at yourself, all your thoughts are turning in on your self trying to work out what is wrong, what is causung this, why am I being punished. You have no basic understanding of how you should be think and when you ask yourself a question you either get the wrong answer or try something new to try and help yourself.

    Mate it has too be the worst place on earth top be at the moment inside your head.

    So anyway after suffering so long with the same symtems and not killing myself because I thought if I did kill myself I might get born again and have to do this all again, there is a cure there has to be and at this time I feel good.

    But your not going to like what I have to tell you to make yourself get better, its a hard journey to take, and a lot of things to understand, and it might not be right for you, but it did work for me.  

    If you want to talk to someone that has been there and come out the other side with out pills and counciling then lets talk and I will do my best to help you.

    Mark

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