Please help really have had enough
Posted , 9 users are following.
Hi
It's me again.....I have had enough now I was so ill this has been going on for 16 months I started on 50mg of sertraline then moved up to 100mg a week later I noticed a improvement in depression & anxiety I've started laughing again and have a lot more intrest in things including my kids,but the last 3 days have not been good I started feeling quite emotional then sick and now today I'm obsessed with the intrusive thoughts I don't know if I'm over reacting am I just not giving it enough time please someone help me I don't know if o can fight this anymore....what's wrong with me?
1 like, 33 replies
weenett Katyf
Posted
Nementh weenett
Posted
I'm just on my way to Tesco :-p but if you google "NHS Online CBT Courses" I think I recall some being avaliable
ger00232 weenett
Posted
Check out mooddgym. It's cbt free and online
ger00232
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Shed1976 Katyf
Posted
Hi Katy,
I just wanted to say that I completely understand and empathise with what you are going through.
It sound as though your thoughts are so distrusting because they centre around someone you love (probably the person you love most in fact) which makes them all the more cruel and disturbing.
I searched for years trying to understand mine and one day, as part of my job, was talking to a psychologist who flicked that switch and made everything fall into place.
She made me understand I wasn't a bad person or losing my mind, the thoughts were representative of how my mind coped with a traumatic childhood experience. They were actually coming from a place of love and safety.
Now when I have them I remind myself of that and rather than reading into them I recognise them as a sign I am feeling anxious and my mood has dipped.
Notice how (when your mood is up) you can almost laugh off the memory of the thoughts that gripped you with fear and guilt when your mood was down.
It is very difficult and in all honesty, a complete mind f*ck but you have to believe you will learn coping strategies and become stronger as a result.
Another trick is to try to detach emotionally from the thoughts and remember you are only having them because you are anxious as a result of your brain chemistry being unbalanced.
My ex used to drive me crazy with his simplistic 'it'S a chemical, medical issue, nothing more.' He was right though.
Thinking of you and remember, you are not alone.
Carol x
Katyf Shed1976
Posted
I'm so grateful for your comments,I do know what you mean I just don't know if I can learn to retrain my way of thinking I think it's. because they are so strange I just don't if I'll make this journey I'm glad you have worked through yours and wish you all the best thank you for caring x
weenett Katyf
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nancyew Katyf
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Katyf nancyew
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Hi thanks for replying I have been on it for nearly 4 weeks I have to say I have noticed a improvement in depression and anxiety but not the thoughts I'm starting to lose hope I wish you all the best xx
Shed1976 Katyf
Posted
Hi Katy,
Do you feel gripped with fear and guilt as a result of your thoughts? Are you altering your behaviour as a result?
Trust me when I say it's all part of your anxiety.
You need to learn a technique to allow you to reframe them, that will take away their power and they will be a lot less disturbing to you.
C x
Katyf Shed1976
Posted
Hi
No there is no fear anymore there was in the beginning that's why I went into hospital,all I can describe it as it's like I wake up wonder if it's going to be there then it's stuck like a really bad headache I really appreciate your advice x
weenett Shed1976
Posted
Shed1976 weenett
Posted
You have to reframe them.
It is definitely not easy though.
Mine (when I'm anxious) centre on my mum. I would get visions of me hurting her.
She is the closest person in the world to me, which is why they were so disturbing. They grippped me with terror and guilt.
After trying to understand why I was having them for years, a psychologist told me that it was linked to the domestic abuse I witnessed in the house when I was a child.
In order to cope back then my mind would construct scenarios whereby I could get my mum to safety (like her falling down the stairs so I could get her to hospital and tell what my dad was going to her.) These were coping mechanisms at the time.
When my brain is anxious now it reverts to this old neurological pathway it learned when I was a child, hence the thoughts of mum being hurt (and me thinking I was having them because I wanted to hurt her.)
The psychologist taught me that the thoughts are just the opposite. They are coming from a place of protection and safety, my desire to (as I had when I was. Child) get my mum to a safe place where my dad could no longer hurt her.
So now when I have the thoughts (when my mood is low or I'm anxious) I think of them in that way. I let them be in my head and they leave again.
I hope this makes sense. There will be a reason for the particular thoughts you are having, and it'll be related to childhood or a trauma you suffered.
You just need to figure it out and start the process of reframing them.
I hope this helps
C x