Please read this and know that I am not trying to be hateful.
Posted , 19 users are following.
I have been using this website for a little over 2 years. and I've learned a lot from this specific group. I would not be where I am today had I not had this group to help me out. there are a couple of things that really tick me off and I know I'm going to make some enemies by saying this but by the same token I feel like some people are doing this without realizing it's wrong to do.
it is not right for you to "kidnap" someone else's thread. what I mean by that is that there are people, some of the same people that will ask a question about themselves on another person's thread. this is not the place to do that. if you have questions you should start your own thread. it's not only impolite to interrupt somebody else's thread with your own problems and questions, and you will get so many more responses if you start your own thread. This thread should be all about the person asking the first original question/concern. it should not be interrupted with someone else's problems/questions. I recently had to unfollow my own thread because it had gotten so out of hand and it had gone off in an entirely different direction so it was no longer about me and my questions. I tried to wait it out but it was still getting responses a month out from the original question I had.
my second complaint really is not quite the same as the first thing I mentioned. I see so many people that will respond to the question posted by telling their own story . I do understand that sometimes our own story is similar to the person who started the thread and in that case I can understand wanting to touch on some details of your own story so that the author of the thread can relate it to their own problems . but that's just it, a few little details should be all . The person posting the thread is looking for help. to show true compassion and understanding I think a responder should keep their comments to 90% about the person that started the thread and only 10% about you. I am just as guilty of doing this myself. and yes, the person who started the thread probably will feel better knowing someone else is there experiencing the same thing they are but... I think we can do that without giving every vivid detail of your own story.
so having posted this I'm guessing I'll probably make some enemies or at least make a few people mad at me. And that was never my intent . I mean this in the best possible sense . I just think that we could all use some reminders of the way to talk online in these groups .
Thank you for reading this rather long post.
1 like, 72 replies
Vicki200252 amkoffee
Posted
Point taken, I have been guilty of this myself. I am only newbe and still trying to work my way around☹
Vicki200252 amkoffee
Posted
I was of the opinion this forum was about trying to help each other as we all have something in common.
Not about rules! if someone gets carried away and buts in , thats ok.
maybe they just need to be heard there and then, maybe they just want to join in and not know how to do it any other way than talk about themselves simply because the writer had said something and its a light bulb moment.
I know I have jumped in about myself and in the future I will only join in, if I have something to write myself on a new discussion.
To be quite honest, I liked the spontaneity of the forum I joined a couple of weeks ago,
Now I feel embarrassed and a bit anxious about joining in on discussions in case I tread on someones toes.
By the way I do normally have a sense of humor but atm I'm feeling a bit flat.
mary19068 Vicki200252
Posted
Hi KaneDylan3
Flat is good! Because in a while you be all blown up and ready to burst forth with humour and a laugh a minute again. Don't be anxious, just be cautious as to who you are answering or questioning...the enquirer or the member replying...That's my plan of action forthwith.....happy thoughts...big smiles...😊😆🤗
Silver49 Vicki200252
Posted
That was what concerned me. New people may be put off. We are here to support each other. I'm further down the line but I may have left in case I messed up a thread if I'd been at the beginning. Please stay and post. We're all swimming or floating. Everyone is important and we have all benefited from each other. That's what life is about especially with PMR.
BettyE Vicki200252
Posted
I've been on here for more than six years and I cannot remember ever encountering anything but politeness. If that changed then I'd be off.
You are right, we are here to support each other and we are bound to have different styles and temperaments. Nothing wrong with that so don't be embarrassed or anxious and keep joining in as often as you have something to say.
I've often wished I was clever enough to write a novel based on a forum and its contributors!
freda07782 Vicki200252
Posted
Hello KaneDylan ..... well said!!! It could be very off putting for new folks who need all the encouragement they can get!!!
amkoffee Vicki200252
Posted
I tried very hard to say this without hurting anyone's feeling. Apparently you have very thin skin. And I can't fathom you having a sense of humor. You do whatever you want to do. I'm out.
EileenH amkoffee
Posted
Um - who is being thin-skinned now? Kane's comment is something I would have expected and don't find problematic. Most people here do have a need to be heard and heard now. Something in a comment makes the connection - and they ask their question. Each of us has a need to think about how our reply will come over - and that applies to the initiator of a post as much as a respondent. You didn't get huffy at my comment which is actually saying much the same thing. So why do so to Kane and not me?
Unlike BettyE I have experienced some truly unpleasant trolling on here - being very thick skinned it didn't stop me coming back. But not everyone is so robust. And to be honest amkoffee - think about the bigger picture and please keep coming back.
lynda62707 BettyE
Posted
BettyE....I think you may be on to something! a book about a forum (any forum) and it's contributors might likely be hilarious....and sometimes a bit sad.
I've "dabbled" in writing....maybe I should "mull" this over😜!
lynda62707 amkoffee
Posted
amk....
1st..I don't believe you've hurt any feelings, maybe just confused a few of us.
2) you and I have commiserated with each f other from time to time....I'm concerned for you. I suspect your plate is Full right now.
3) I think you should Stay...ultimately, we're all here for the same reason...ro get answers/info and support ( and yes, maybe a few laughs). we're here for ya amk!
Vicki200252 mary19068
Posted
Hi Mary
you have me laughing , best medicine
thank you
Vicki200252 Silver49
Posted
thank you
Vicki200252 amkoffee
Posted
No need to be personal and yes I do have thin skin as I take blood thining meds for my heart.
Vicki200252 EileenH
Posted
thank you Eileen , I look at the posts everyday and I feel I'm getting to know everyone.
I really enjoy reading and learning from all.
I am just feeling a bit out of sorts lately, waiting to see specialist etc. you all know my story by now.
Vicki .... I should change my username
Vicki200252
Posted
that is supposed to be funny by the way Amk , stay please.
I don't want anyone to go .
Not my intention at all.
We all have to he able to vent.
Vicki
Vicki200252 Silver49
Posted
Thank you Silver
Vicki200252 BettyE
Posted
Thank you Betty
lynda62707 Vicki200252
Posted
Vicki...please jump in ANY time...REALLY! the more the merrier....and I feel I'm getting to know many of you right now. This is all kinda a "cyber family".... sometimes family members argue and grumble! it soon blows over....😘👼
Vicki200252 lynda62707
Posted
I'm over my little outburst already.
Hours ago actually, once again everyones support made me wake up to myself.