Possible melanoma? Or anxiety?
Posted , 4 users are following.
March 2017 I noticed I had an itch on my back, while scratching i noticed a painful bump (felt like when you get a painful pimple) so i figured maybe its just a pimple. So I left it alone and it stopped hurting after a day or 2 but never went away. So i googled what it could be and melanoma popped up. Okay so now Im scared. I stupidly googled how to self remove a mole and found a baking soda method. It made my mole scab then fall off...and about a week later it grew back, the same but slightly darker. So i left it alone and it never bothered me. Until june 2019 again I scratched my back and knicked the dumb thing and part of it scabbed and healed. Again it grew back the same but a little darker. My anxiety took over and i went to a clinic to see a GP. He said it didnt look dangerous, "melanoma usually have sharp edges and yours doesnt look that sharp" he diagnoaed me with depression and anxiety... but still everyday i take pictures of this mole to monitor it and see if anything changes, i also constantly rub it to see if it causes pain (it doesnt) today I noticed two small dots in it and Im out of my mind going crazy. I made an appointment but its not till the end of the month.
Does this look like a melanoma to you?
0 likes, 28 replies
michelle70460 maria04908
Posted
Hi. This would be a very anxious time for you i'm sure but although i am not an expert by any means the picture you provided doesn't look like a melanoma. Melanomas tend to have irregular edges, bleed easily & change in size & shape. I had a black as black freckle on my shoulder that used to itch abit at times but it wasn't a melanoma. Black moles do not necessarily mean melanoma. However, you are doing the right thing by keeping an eye on it & if it still concerns you get a second opinion, third opinion if needed. We can never be to careful when it comes to our health. Good luck.
maria04908 michelle70460
Posted
Thank you. I've been out of my mind about this. Everyone has been telling me it looks fine but it goes in one ear and out the other... I know the night before my appointment I'm going to be a ball of nerves. This is why my Dr gave me anxiety pills and I think Im due for a refill!
michelle70460 maria04908
Posted
You're welcome. Do you suffer from health anxiety by any chance? Health anxiety is very real & can often make small issues look worse than what they really are. I know it's not the same problem but i recently had a breast scare. I'm 51 by the way & i was convinced i had breast cancer & terrified out of my mind. But guess what, i was panicking over nothing so try not to get yourself so worked up over it as it may be something but really most likely nothing. If it helps, i had a suspicious mole removed from behind my ear 2yrs ago & whilst the doc was removing it he was telling me a story about a patient who had melanoma cos my doc could tell just by looking at it. Anyhow, the patient didn't come back until months later to have it removed & it was melanoma but he's fine. My point is, the human mind is a powerful thing & with so much awareness about cancer out there it can be very easy for 'the seed to be planted' that it is cancer especially if you are already anxious about it. Try & relax. Try & keep yourself busy until your appointment. Ithink you will be ok.
michelle70460
Posted
Sorry i forgot to add in my last post. Please try & stay away from dr google cos it often just makes you feel worse. Dr google is no substitute for a real doctor. Up to you, but please let me know how you go with it.
maria04908 michelle70460
Posted
Yes I do! My doctor prescribed me anxiety pills for this exact reason, and its funny you mention Dr Google cause thats exactly where all my health anxiety started. I had never even heard of melanoma until Google.
I also believe i have no family history of skin cancers and most of my family has lived pretty long lives. My great grandma recently passed and she was 92! My mothers parents are both pushing 90 also so Im hoping I got the gene. Hopefully by next month Im laughing at myself for being so paranoid over nothing.
michelle70460 maria04908
Posted
Yeah i kinda had a feeling you may be doing that. But no judgement from me cos almost all of us are guilty of it. Iv'e done it but please don't it really can be your worst enemy unless it's a reputable site but even then it still can't replace your gp. I too come from a family of longegevity. I lost my grandmother 2yrs ago & she was 94 & my other grandmother is still alive & 96 . All my aunties & uncles are still kicking & theyre all heading into their 70's so yes good genes can play a part 2. Also with melanona, another thing to watch for is different colours in the mole. For example, one half of the mole may be black while the other half is a light brown. Different colored 'rings' around the edges of the mole such as blue, yellow. Yes, that can happen with cancerous moles & yours doesn't fit any of those. Please take my advice & stay away from dr google. As you said, you hadn't even heard of melanoma until you googled it. I live in australia where melanoma is very high due to our very, very hot weather over here but people are slowly learning. Some, the hard way. Relax, take a deep breath & say, "i'm gonna be just fine". STOP GOOGLING. LOL!
maria04908 michelle70460
Posted
My mom and husband keep saying they are going to get me a flip phone so i can stop googling. I live in Texas where it also gets very hot, now as hot as australia but still we sometimes get temperatures in the 100s. I read that the odds are pretty much in my favor, Im olive toned, I dont burn in the sun (I make a point to stay out of the sun anyway) the mole doesnt seem to have changed shape to me. I also noticed I have a few moles that have spots so maybe thats my norm? My gp said it looks fine, multiple people online have said it looks fine, Ive even spoken to online Drs who said it looks fine.
Maybe my moms right and I just dont know how to listen lol. I will try my best to stay away from Dr Google. Hes making me crazy!
michelle70460 maria04908
Posted
Wow texas hey! We are worlds apart. LOL! Marie i really can't stress it enough to stop googling things. It will send you crazy because people google a symptom & often the worst case scenario will come up which is often cancer but yet there are so many other minor conditions that can have similar symptoms of cancer. But even on the remote chance it does turn out to be something (& i do stress the word remote) always know that if caught early melanoma is very curable. But, i really highly doubt it is anything sinister. If your health anxiety begins to take over your life, maybe talking to someone about it may help you relieve some of your fears. The reason cancer is so frightening is because it makes us realise our mortality but you can't let unfounded fears take over your life. Please me updated on your progress. I will be interested in the outcome. You'll be fine & no more googling please! LOL!
maria04908 michelle70460
Posted
It scares me more cause I have kids (11&5) and maybe cause my friends husband who is about my age (29) just found out he has cancer so that also sent me into panic mode. Its scary, I promise I'll try to stay away from google lol. Someone once told me 96% of what we worry about never happens. Im trying to keep that in mind.
michelle70460 maria04908
Posted
Whoever told you that about 96% of what we worry about never happens has given you some good advice. So heed that advice. I'm sorry to hear about your friends partner but just because someone has been given some bad news doesn't mean it will happen to you. The problem with health anxiety is it can have a snowball affect,meaning that you get rid of one health issue & then your brain is constantly looking for the next one so sometimes it's better to try & nip it in the bud before it gets out of control. Often health anxiety stems from a fear of death, which i'm not ashamed to admit i'm terrified of it but i try not to let it rule me. You will be around for a long time yet. When is your appointment for the mole check?
michelle70460 maria04908
Posted
Here's something that will give you a good laugh. Go onto youtube & type in 'woody allen health anxiety scene' from the movie hannah & her sisters. Whilst it is a very funny clip, it emphasises what health anxiety can do. Take a look & let me know what you think. Guaranteed good laugh.
maria04908 michelle70460
Posted
Lol I watched the video. It was funny and very relatable. Funny cause hes analyzing evey word the dr said and thats what I did. My dr said "Melanoma have very sharp edges and yours doesnt look THAT sharp"
Naturally my mind started thinking what does "THAT" sharp mean? Is he just being nice so I dont have another panic attack?!
My appointment is August 29th... Ive been convinced I had breast cancer pcos thyroid problems diabetes, and Im fine. Hopefully if this does turn out to be nothing I can still have the Dr cut the thing off me so I never have to look at it ever again.
michelle70460 maria04908
Posted
LOL! I thought you would enjoy it. I remember the first time i watched it i laughed so hard i thought my stomach was gonna split open. But it also shows what health anxiety can do to people. Yes, if need be, get rid of the mole if it gives you peace of mind. Take it from me, it doesn't hurt abit. Oh, i've had some diseases in my time to. Let me see. I've had bowel cancer, breast cancer (although that one was real) but did'nt turn out to be cancer. I've had a few & everyone of them turned out to he nothing. I renember yrs ago, i used to have a friend who had health anxiety so badly that she could'nt even be on her own cos she feared that if something happened to her, noone would be there & she died. She was eventually put under a phycologist & she got better. But it all stemmed from one thing. A fear of death. I know longer see her but she would have to be the worst case iv'e ever seen. Considering that your appointment is awhile off tells me that there wont be much to worry about cos believe me if they thought it could be serious they would'nt be waiting that long. Although i don't know how the health system works over there.
maria04908 michelle70460
Posted
I got a good laugh out at it. Thats probably how I seem to my husband, going crazy over nothing.
Health care here is good but expensive! Especially if you dont have health insurance.
How horrible your friend had health anxiety that bad. I dont like being alone either but thats because when Im alone I have too much time to think and when I think too much I start googling.
michelle70460 maria04908
Posted
Yes & that is a true story too about my friend. (although she's no longer my friend) i have'nt seen her in yrs. That's one good thing about australia we don't always have to pay for healthcare but some things we do.Like specialists & things like that but i have to say we do have an excellent healthcare system here. We don't have to have compulsory insurance, it's optional, although there is talk that they are trying to make it compulsory but i don't think it will fly. Oh & i forgot to mention before, i've had tongue cancer too. LOL! I had a small bump come up at the back of my tongue & thought it was cancer but it was just a swollen gland. I thought this because unfortunately i smoke. Yeah i know, i'll give the mongrel things up eventually. LOL!
maria04908 michelle70460
Posted
I thought I had lung cancer once, turns out I have asthma, but me being me jumped to the worst possible scenario first. Only thing I was correct on was having anxiety, I came to that conclusion without google! Haha!
michelle70460 maria04908
Posted
If anybody needs to worry about lung cancer its me. LOL! (although thats not really funny is it) . Its bloody terrifying. I worked in a hospital for 10yrs & the first 4yrs there was working in a cancer ward so you think i would learn, when it comes to smoking, but no, i still keep doing it.But the problem is, its so addictive & i do admit i enjoy a smoke to & that makes it even harder to stop. But when i went to my doc about that lump on my tongue, he gave me the lecture of my life & ive been with the same doctor for 9yrs. I just hope one day i find the strenght to do it before it could be to late. Just curious, what time is it over there right now? It is 6.15pm here in the land of oz.
maria04908 michelle70460
Posted
No judging. My moms been a smoker for as long as I can remember. I tried it a few times and hated the smell so I never picked up the habit...its currently 9:15am here (when you asked me I had fell asleep but it was about 3am)
michelle70460 maria04908
Posted
Morning maria. I've just got up as it is 7.15am here in sydney so i was asleep when you sent that last msg through. Hope you are in a bit better frame of 'thoughts' today with you worrying about the mole. Good thing you never took up the habit cos i tell ya what once it gets you in its clutched its damn hard to break but not impossible. Even the other person who responded to you even said that it doesn't look like a melanoma. Well they said it along those lines anyhow.
maria98688 michelle70460
Posted
Its still on my mind but Im not googling! lts 5:40pm here now... I actually called my derm asking if maybe anyone cancelled so I can get in sooner, no luck though. 20 days to wait seems so far away.
Maybe googling is my version of smoking, cause its hard kicking that habit for me lol.
michelle70460 maria98688
Posted
I do get that its not easy waiting to see someone. But can i ask you this question & by no means is it meant to offend you. But when you see the dermo & they give you the all clear will you then be satisfied that its nothing of concern? Or will you be worried that they may be wrong somehow? I'm just curious is all. I ask this because its quite common for people who suffer with health anxiety to still not be satisfied with 'good results'. They tend to think that something is still wrong. I'm certainly not saying thats you. But when the dermo gived you the all clear & they will, believe them because they are the experts. You are gonna be fine & no matter what people tell you i dont think anything is gonna change your mind right now. Would i be right in saying that? Your mind is torturing you but thats because you are allowing it to. I had a good look at the mole & no i'm no expert but honestly maria it doesn't look like anything sinister what so ever. You need to sit back & relax & when you get the all clear go out & celebrate. LOL!
maria98688 michelle70460
Posted
Im not offended, honestly Ive always been the type of person who needs constant reassurance, not just with health but with everything. Thats why when I do go to the derm Id love for her to just cut the thing off so I never have to think about it again. I mean my gp said it looks fine and still I didnt believe him... because "why would he give me a dermatology referall if i was fine" similar to that Woody Allen hypichondriac video you asked me to watch yesterday. I also have back pain and in my head Ive linked that to my mole...
michelle70460 maria98688
Posted
Your doctor i'm guessing is sending you to a dermo for two possible reasons. 1-to get a second opinion because dermos are better qualified in this area. 2- to give you peace of mind. The latter is the one i'd bet on. When i had my recent breast cancer scare my doc told me there & then that i didn't have anything to worry about but they still run tests just to be 100% sure. Its a duty of care on their part but just because you are being referred for further looking at does not mean there's a problem they just need to be certain is all. This is very common in people with health anxiety. They automatically assume that cos the doc wants further tests well there must be something wrong when in fact it's just protocol so to speak.
maria98688 michelle70460
Posted
I had my husband take a look a little while ago. He looked with a flashlight and magnifying glass and confirmed I do have some little dark spots in my mole Im pretty sure werent there before, and trust me Ive kept a close eye on the thing. Im just really really scared. Im kicking myself for even waiting this long to make an appointment. As I said I noticed it 2 years ago... I went to my gp July 19th and he gave me the referral that day. I just brushed it off though cause he said on the paperwork "referral to derm recommended although mole looks benign"
But now these spots are messing with my mind and Im trying really really hard to take your advice and everyone else Ive talked to for that matter and not google. Im already a nervous wreck.
michelle70460 maria98688
Posted
The 'spots' you speak ofni highly doubt are anything at all. What you need to look at is, if the mole shows a significant change in color like one half of the mole being black on one side & a brown color on the other. The mole is literally different in colors not just a couple of spots. Now youve just given me bit of a clue. When you say the doc has said mole looks benign in the referral, trust me if he thought it was potential melanoma he would have put 'urgent' on the referral so dont worry.
maria98688 michelle70460
Posted
Im all over the place. Im fine at one point in the day and freaking out the next. Like last night I was fine. Watched a funny movie, spent time with my husband and kids and then out of no where my anxiety hits me this morning to the point I feel sick to my stomach. It makes me feel loads better that I know for sure it hasnt changed shape or grew. Its the darn color change which my dr also said was possibly due to hyperpigmentation from me scratching it off.
Im not just this way with myself either. I hate when my kids have a dr appointment or a routine cbc count cause what if they find something? My daughter had a swollen lymph node about 2-3 years ago and I just about had a heart attack...emergency room all but laughed at me, told me it was completely normal.