Posting on this is taking me a lot of courage.

I so understand where you're at. I do classes at the gym every day and I swim. I function in the home but I have to have alcohol in there. I'm starting a detox next week, first time ever, I owe it to myself and my kids, grandchildren - not my husband because he doesn't give a sh*t!!!!!

First, I would like to thank everyone who took the time to respond to my post. I have learned a few things, got to reflect from a different angle and feel better knowing that I am not the only one battling this.

Second, twice I was asked on how I managed to go down to 5 drinking days in May and here is what I did:

1. Made myself aware of what to expect. That day 3 and 4 are the toughest for me craving wise. But that it is only a passage and I just have to ignore it and push through.

2. Takes about 10 days for the body to detox but the actual reasons behind the drinking will still have to be dealt with.

3. Eat well, drink pleanty of fluids and take my vitamins. Knowing that I am feeding my body with the things it needs to heal makes me feel good.

4. Know that when I get home is when I have the most difficulty so to replace picking up the glass with a walk with my husband or to plan a small task and get it done such as folding the laundry. Nothing too overwhelming otherwise it is too much and I jump ship.

5. Allow myself a "treat". If the cravings are intense then I will buy or eat what food I like. Ex. Burger, poutine, fried food...the cost be it money, calorie or to my health is still better.

6. Give myself a tap on the back in the morning for getting through another day without it but to accept that I am only human and this problem is not easy either.

7. Appreciate how I feel when I do not drink. All the energy I have, how much I can do and how rested I feel after the first few days(since the first 2-3 I feel like I'm playing catch up on the sleep I've deprived myself of).

8. Most importantly let my husband/best friend know what my plan is. If I feel weak he will always take the time to help me get by. Also, I do not like to see the disappointment in his face when I pick up that wine bottle because he knows that it is not what I really want to do and I will be upset in the morning.

Today is my birthday. I am 42. I am going to use this today. I feels so good writing this down instead of keeping it all in my head.

I also have a strong liking to wine. Just knowing I.have it calms me down, running out makes me panic, I have spent all summer on wine or if desperate beer. I.am on day.three right now and planning on never going back. No matter how much that wine comforts me, it always runs out. I'm tired of the way I feel about myself, ugh, so frustrating

From what I've found, it's hard because the notion that drinking is rewarding and pleasurable is something that gets lodged in an unconscious part of the brain. The conscious part where logic and reason come in to play just doesn't communicate that well with the unconscious part (that part has no use of logic or reason). Alcohol, as it turns out, communicates with it very well, too well for some people (like me). Alcohol actually programs that part of the brain to seek itself via the endorphins that are released when some of us drink. It actually has a medical effect on the brain and repeated use makes the programming stronger. 

I tried to quit a number of times and always went back to it. I never made it longer than a week. I read about this:

https://patient.info/health/sinclair-method-for-alcohol-use-disorder

And I decided to give it a go. It worked quite well to make that programming fade. Now, after drinking daily for 30 years, I look at a beer as I would imagine a person without Alcohol Use Disorder does. The beer used to fairly sing to me, it's mostly silent now. Comparatively speaking, it's almost like I've forgotten what beer is for. 

That being said, have at it and see what you can manage with what you had in mind, and best wishes to you! Keep the info in the link in mind as a "Plan B", should the need arise.