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Di25
Di25

Hi has anyone gone private to see a psychiatrist I'm thinking of doing this as I'm really fed up of feeling so low and depressed been on meds 20 years and yet again been swapped to another med which is mirts just had a crying fit it's day 2 and been so tired and eating none stop

Do you think local gp has any idea what they doing ?

1 like, 60 replies

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  • judith_15553
    judith_15553 Di25

    Posted

    Same for me but I do think they are starting to work, as for dose think everybody is different and when you get used to the affects try and find the right dose that suites you. I was going to go private but being on this site made me realise that when my head is working I am the best judge. The side effects are strange and don't know if they last, lost a lot of weight while I was really bad but eating everything I cin get my hands on now, my head is clearer but my body won't behave. Think it is better than not wanting to live, I just do what I can even though I feel strange, dizzy, wobbly, headaches ect. Not able to work but can function better than I have for years. Stick with it and try to take control when your head is clearer, only you really know yourself. Good luck
    • Di25
      Di25 judith_15553

      Posted

      Thks for the reply it helps a lot I'm just about to open some wine I feel that low I'm not gonna feel any worse how long have you been on them Judith ? 

      I have a partner but he just doesn't understand thinks it's all in my head that doesn't help at all just feel suicidal ATM sad

    • judith_15553
      judith_15553 Di25

      Posted

      Don't drink if you can help it. Only for two weeks swapped from venaflaxine it was horrible but have tried some many tablets and drink stuck with it even though I felt worse to start with. I have not got a partner but my daughter and lodger try to understand but how can they! It's not there fault I was in hell for 7 months living was harder than dying but I couldn't leave all that pain behind. I am hear keep strong
    • Di25
      Di25 judith_15553

      Posted

      I know it's so hard it is hell makes me so mad with partner when he tells me it's all in my head had to give in to a glass of wine to calm me down and to get me through until another day 

      I was so sure these were gonna work I'm still gonna hope they will as you say we have to give it time 

      ,

    • judith_15553
      judith_15553 Di25

      Posted

      Sorry didn't mean to sound harsh about the wine. I said it because I drank 3 bottles of vodka when I was bad just to sleep, my kids and my best friend found me me after 3days in bed wet myself and didn't know what was happening. I was supposed to have picked up my mum and looked after my grandchildren but the pressure of it got to me. Thought a few drinks would help then three bottles in one day! Doctor said I would die if I had any more so stopped that day after years of hiding behind drink and pills. That's when I got really bad no drink to take the edge off and put me to sleep. I have been diagnosed with severe depression and general anziety disorder and had managed for 15 years to hold a job down some how. Now I can't work and have had to face it head on! The hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life.
    • judith_15553
      judith_15553 Di25

      Posted

      It is not all in your head it is an illness and can be cured, can't believe I am saying that last week I would have said nothing could help me! Your head is broken and like a broken leg it can be fixed depends on how bad the break is.
    • Di25
      Di25 judith_15553

      Posted

      Yikes I understand where you are coming from the most I have is 2 bottles of wine I thought that was a lot omg Judith I'm so pleased for you how you have stuck at it and your feeling better your a strong person eek

      I only work part time 6am till 9am then Sundays that's all I can manage I'm deaf as well have a cochlear implant 

    • judith_15553
      judith_15553 Di25

      Posted

      I was married had two lovely kids 1 of each all I ever wanted and my husband went off with my best friend. Got through that eventually drink, keeping busy. Married again very happy he died after ten years together, go through that, drink and antidepressants, my brother got lukimia and died over 4 years just waisted away. Dad had a heart attack died after a year just before my brother, mum got breast cancer and dog died. All of this happened in 4 years but got through it same way, had to be strong for mum and little brother who is in a wheel chair and mentally disabled. What has all this got to do with it, well I didn't get through it I didn't grieve like I should have done. I didn't think about me too many other people relying on me, cracked in the end hence the 3 bottles of vodka I was so scared icouldnt do it any more. You know what it was the best thing I ever did, the hell I have been in has been mine but all the people I was trying to help are still there they can cope without me so now I have to find me again after 39 years of beibg there for everybody else. I can do it and so can you
    • judith_15553
      judith_15553 Di25

      Posted

      I think I have answered that with my rambling. Lucky you having an in plant they are fab, only down side is you can't turn them off if you don't want to listen as far as I know. My friend who was deaf did it all the time she used to drive me mad with it. How old are you any kids?
    • Di25
      Di25 judith_15553

      Posted

      Thank you it's so reassuring that I'm not the only one going I through it so glad I found this forum yesterday so much better than fb lol that really makes me worse when everyone is having fun smile

       

    • judith_15553
      judith_15553 Di25

      Posted

      It's talking to you that is making me realise how much better I am, feeling like that for so long it becomes part of you and in a strange way it is scary when it starts to lift, who is this person who is telling someone they will get better when last week my friend told me the same and I said I never would. She was right, light at the end of the tunnel don't know what better is anymore. Relearn to live I think just in a different way, have to fill the gap of work, drink and holding other people up, how I don't know! Day by day I suppose.
    • judith_15553
      judith_15553 Di25

      Posted

      What is fun I can't remember but I am dam well going to try and have some of it when I can. Come on we can do it!!!!!!idea
    • judith_15553
      judith_15553 Di25

      Posted

      Maybe as I said you don't know who you really are any more we need to find ourselves it's going to take time so give your self time. I am trying to but I have never looked after me before don't know where to start! X
    • judith_15553
      judith_15553 Di25

      Posted

      Tablets and telly in bed for me now, see what tomorrow brings! Nite nite good luck x
    • judith_15553
      judith_15553 Di25

      Posted

      Good morning hope you feel a tiny bit better. I am possative at the moment not that terrible panicky I used to wake up with so will crack on while it lasts. My daughter wants me to go out with her today and I am going to try my best! Will let you know how I get on. Take care x
    • norman42567
      norman42567 judith_15553

      Posted

      Good morning! As Judith said, CBT is a forward for us. I had 4 intense sessions where really too much was went over due to limited time, but I recorded 3 of them so I can go back over them. Judith recommends CBT for dummies ( that's me!!!) which now I moved to my bro house in KL Malaysia from Singapore I will try to find, but currently none in any book stores but can see it on Amazon. If your anxious to go out with your daughter just keep in your mind that your safe with her, the people you will see will not hurt you, their just going about their lifes, take some deep breaths when you need to and just think what your accomplishing, your on the road back to being better! Depression wants you to do nothing, it wants us to dwell on negatives, these often end up in a spin cycle, when you feel the start of one break it, be ready for it with a positive thought or memory, I think you get the idea. The more we do the less depression can hold us back. Depression hates activity becuase when were busy we're not dwelling on the problems so not feeding the depression. I look at it like walking in thick mud, the more we do the easier it is to walk, the thinner the mud gets! But I'm guilty of not following this myself so I know how hard it is to do. You could try a daily routine as I had. Up early, breaky, go for walk perhaps with daughter at first, shower, read as reading stops you thinking and gives you a rest. Lunch, try a hobby or internet, time with family then evening have dinner, have a think other things you can do, watch TV and then bed. Take care and chin up and all that!
    • judith_15553
      judith_15553 Di25

      Posted

      That's the spirit have as good a day as you can I will be hear for u if u need a chat
    • patricia85842
      patricia85842 norman42567

      Posted

      Norman you are so right about being busy. I am being weaned off Mirtazapine and changing to Venlafaxine at the moment and I have jus been lying in bed most of the last two mornings which makes me feel worse.  After reading your post I am determined to get busy.  We have got family coming for lunch tomorrow and I was going to put them off but now  I am going to do the shopping and some cooking so many thanks Norman.
    • judith_15553
      judith_15553 norman42567

      Posted

      You are so right and seemed to be using cup effectively. I got my book on amozon it is good as an aid memoir when you get stuck. Daughter has cancelled and it is a horrible day, unlike you with the sun so I have been cleaning and washing. Having a break now for lunch. Enjoy the sun.
    • judith_15553
      judith_15553 patricia85842

      Posted

      Well done. Let people help you as well I tried to do everything and realised I had to let some things go. Good luck with lunch and try to enjoy it
    • Di25
      Di25 judith_15553

      Posted

      Morning Judith or nearly afternoon I wasn't at work today so didn't set the alarm went to bed at 10 last night only just woke up that's over 13 hours sleep I had the most amazing vivid dream think these dreams come with messages too this one was saying one day at a time baby steps I'm feeling so much better than last night can't believe it actually 

      I might even go swimming today then we have an uncles 70tb party later was not going to go but will see how I feel now glad your ok too and the sun is shining here in the midlands smile 

    • judith_15553
      judith_15553 Di25

      Posted

      Glad your feeling better and a lot more positive than last night. Enjoy swimming and try to go to party but don't obsess about it go if you feel like it good luck ps send the sun confused
    • Di25
      Di25 judith_15553

      Posted

      Not as far as Norman Singapore !!! Catch u later I'm off to get ready and I've found my notes out. From CBT so gonna have a read I remember it was a few years ago it did help then x 
    • judith_15553
      judith_15553 Di25

      Posted

      Still no sun! Lucky nor am we need a holiday! X
    • judith_15553
      judith_15553 Di25

      Posted

      Did you manage swimming? Hope you make it to the party. I have been mad today that my body won't work, aches and pains everywhere but my mind wants to do so much, it is so frustrating, half a day doing things is all I can manage. Hope the side effects wear off soon.
    • Di25
      Di25 judith_15553

      Posted

      Hi sorry for late reply I did go swimming not as long as I usually do then after that the day went worse been crying angry my lads and partner have really taken a lot from me today been lashing out but now in bed had another tablet and hope tomorrow will be ok I've had to phone in sick for tomo as I can't work like that 

      I'm not giving up though sorry to hear you've had a bad day too x 

    • judith_15553
      judith_15553 Di25

      Posted

      Sooty t hear about your day. I am getting angry too think it must be tha tablets. Supposed to go shopping with my daughter today but I don't think I can feel really angry just want to be better mad
    • Di25
      Di25 judith_15553

      Posted

      Morning I know I'm usually so placid and was so angry yesterday but felt better after maybe we need to get it out of our system grrrr evil
    • judith_15553
      judith_15553 Di25

      Posted

      Hi hope you had a better day, managed to go shopping and like you siad the anger has gone now, what a bag of wired side effects hope they were off can't cope with all these different ones rolleyes
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