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Problem drinking

Posted , 6 users are following.

rmd
rmd

I've been drinking quite heavily for a couple of years now and want to quit but the idea of managing without alcohol scares me. I drink when i'm happy sad, scared, excited...everything. I have 2 young daughters and want to be a role model for them. My parents are both heavy drinkers and I don't want that for my girls. My husband is threatening to leave me if I don't give up. I really really want to but  i've failed so many times. Hoping that having online support helps me

2 likes, 27 replies

27 Replies

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  • al5aph49
    al5aph49 rmd

    Posted

    hi rmd you sound very mixed up, you have 2 daughters, who i am sure you love so much, you have a loving husband, the first thing in my mind, that you cut down any contact with other people that drink,even if this means your parents for a while, show your husband you want to do this, ask him to help you and support you, make him feel part of your fight to stop,i realy think one day you will be that role model, cut down on your intake, ask your husband to come to the doctors with you,  you cant do this alone or without some sort of medication i wish you all the luck in the world it wont be easy (i know i have been through it)     
  • lesley118
    lesley118 rmd

    Posted

    I'm just going through this, can I ask you how much you drink a day or evening? Honestly? X
    • rmd
      rmd lesley118

      Posted

      I don't drink in the day, it's usually after the girls are in bed and not every night. Sometimes I go through good spells where i only drink at weekends but that's been rarer and rarer lately. I can easily drink a bottle of wine, sometimes a bottle and a half a night
    • lesley118
      lesley118 rmd

      Posted

      I never drank in the day either, but every night, and half a bottle of vodka, mixed not neat. I started getting all sorts of pains and had loads of tests. I have stopped now as i have liver damage, i'm awaiting a scan as it could be Cancer!!!, i have 3 girls and i'm so ashamed. It becomes a disease, and now i'm waiting on results as to what damage i have done. If you can go nights without then stop while your ahead, don't end up like me :-(
    • hope4cure
      hope4cure lesley118

      Posted

      Ur story is heart breaking.. Yet I can only pray that u do not have cancer.

      many blessings sent UR way.

  • ann03972
    ann03972 rmd

    Posted

    Hi rmd, it's really good you want to give up or at least cut down.

    i think it maybe easier for you if you try not to have any wine at all I think

    when trying to cut down its so so tempting to have just one more but if you say

    im not having any tonight and try to keep yourself busy doing something you

    dont usually do keep your mind on other things, then try not to think of never

    having a drink again just take one day at a time. There is a very good book

    called beat the booze which you may find very helpful

    good luck Ann 

    • rmd
      rmd ann03972

      Posted

      Thank you Ann. I'm frightened and deeply ashamed of myself. I am trying to take it one day at a time and I think my only option is no alcohol at all, certainly in the near future, if not forever. I think I need a new hobby to occupy myself but I'm stuck on what that could be!
    • hope4cure
      hope4cure rmd

      Posted

      Well thought out no drinks because one drink leads to another and then there os no stopping.not one more drink is what al5aph uses to tell himself not to drink. He's been sober using the chant idea. It may work for u too.

       UR husband knows u deserve to be together and for UR daughters. I like that u find some hobbies u like or volunteer for something needed in UR area u and UR girls cam do together. Taking meals to shts ins is very rewarding. That's a great role model for UR girls and they will put a lovely smile on the faces of those whom u bring meals .

    • Sigatoka
      Sigatoka rmd

      Posted

      Like the previous writer, it is good that you are thinking of giving up for the sake of your family.  I am not a drinker, but my 37 year old son is an alcoholic and it breaks my heart to see him ruining his life.

      I am sure you are frightened and ashamed of your situation - my son does too but he doesnt seem to be able to do anything to change things.  You have two children and from what I gather a loving, supportive husband. 

      I am slowly learning about addiction - not very satisfactorily though - and there days I get very angry and stressed out for the situation my family and I are in. 

      Some new hobby would be a good idea to occupy yourself.  You could join an adult class and take up something quite relaxing.  I do pottery and no matter what is going on, I make sure I dont miss my classes.

      What are your interests?  What did you do before you married and had children?

      I wish I could help more

       

    • hope4cure
      hope4cure Sigatoka

      Posted

      Hello,

      I am very sorry to hear of UR sons addiction, it is heartbreaking. My son is a alcoholic for many years ..

      please see the many discussion talking about my son addiction.

       

    • Sigatoka
      Sigatoka hope4cure

      Posted

      Thank you hope4cure, will look up the discussions...if I know where to find it.

       

    • rmd
      rmd Sigatoka

      Posted

      I still go running and to the gym and I read a lot. It's like i'm 2 different people...disciplined and healthy one day and a drinker the next. I need something I can do with my hands at night like sewing or knitting but I'm not very crafty so they don't really appeal...still thinking!
    • ann03972
      ann03972 rmd

      Posted

      Hi, just try and do something different go in a different room maybe 

      plan next days meals or what your going to be doing the next day,

      anything that's different. You don't sound physically dependant it's just

      a mental thing so you have to every day just try to think of something

      else to do you can do it I have myself it's not easy but don't think ahead

      one day at a time good luck Ann 

    • hope4cure
      hope4cure ann03972

      Posted

      Mental dependency is stronger.. Alcohol is a mind altering drug and causes the addiction cravings staring with the brain.

      stay strong 

       

    • ann03972
      ann03972 hope4cure

      Posted

      Hi yes I know but what I was trying to say unlike physical dependency 

      it does not harm you to just stop, any dependency is hard but you wont

      get so ill with mental dependency it hard  but you have to try and change

      your routine your mindset all your daily routines if you are able and that

      sometimes can help. Ann

    • rmd
      rmd ann03972

      Posted

      Thanks Ann yes mine is habitual rather than physical..I abstained during both pregnancies and every now and again have a month off alcohol but lately the habit is worse. Thanks for your advice, you're right I just need to keep  busy and take it day by day x
    • hope4cure
      hope4cure ann03972

      Posted

      alcoholic ..problem drinkers..labels.. What ever...

      Learning behaviors that trigger cravings anf resolving those behaviors: This involves counseling and medications to give the recovering alcoholic...problem drinker... the skills needed for maintaining no dependency on liquor...leads to sobriety. No drinks .This step in treatment can be done inpatient or outpatient. Both are equally effective. 

      AA programs as well as many other counceling programs teach many ways

      that trigger mental & physical dependency ...so really which comes first mental dependency or physical ??????

      read my discussions then come back & I would be very interested in UR answer. 

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