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Problem drinking

Posted , 7 users are following.

stacey2507
stacey2507

Hi all.. I joined this group needing some advice from someone who may have been in a similar situation the what I am currentky in. I am not an alcoholic in the sense that I do not drink every day. Sometimes I can have diner and 2 wines and be fine, however sometimes when I go out with friends I drink to excess and I get to a point of no return. I change into a completely different person.. my drunk self is a totally different person to my sober self. Most times when I have big drinking sessions,I wake up the next day having had back outs and not remembering the night, and I have an overwhelming feeling of guilt and feel extremely anxious. I am cuurrently trying to cut down, and on many occassions I have stuck to my word, however some times I haven't been able to and I just leave a trail of self disruction through the self-loathing. I have done some pretty terrible things when drunk and have caused injuries to myself, and am starting to really have psychological repercussions but worse of all I have hurt some people in my life that mean a lot to me! My question is, do I just bite the bullet and quit altogether, or do I have one or 2 every now and then.. It's just a whole mental thing knowing I can drink. I'm usually fine for ages, then I have a night out and I don't know why I bothered touching alcohol in the first time. 

I'm really looking for some insight from someone who has been through this, or if someone is going through this now too feel free to comment. 

smile 

4 likes, 32 replies

32 Replies

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  • olivo
    olivo stacey2507

    Posted

    Makes perfect sense Paul, I value your advice. But it is sooooo hard, when the man I married 45 yrs ago, who was kind, considerate, loving, has turned into an absolute nightmare, is insulting, verbally cruel, and very recently phsyically hurtful.  This is not the man I know, and Yes, I am resentful, and want him to stop! !His actions have affected MY life, and I AM bitter.  My girls wont even allow my grandkids to come and stay, bake cakes, make popcorn, watch a DVD cuddled up, because they have experience of "grandad" being falling down vodka drunk, at 9am next morning, and kids txting to ask to come home!!! MY life doesn't seem to  count anymore, it's all about the alcoholic.
    • PaulJTurner1964
      PaulJTurner1964 olivo

      Posted

      I know Olivo, I wasn't trivialising your experience of it, it's horrendous and many other people here who live with a person who is alcohol dependent will know exactly how bad it is for you.

      Just for your own sanity, try and think of it as an illness. Try and keep reminding yourself that he never meant to become like this. Also remind yourself that he is getting absolutely no pleasure from his life, either.

      Alcohol is an evil drug, but it has its biggest effect on people who have that vulnerablity which is something they never had a choice about.

      Send me a private message if you want to talk.

    • PaulJTurner1964
      PaulJTurner1964

      Posted

      Having said all that, there is NEVER an excuse for any person to use physical violence in a relationship. He needs to know that you will never accept him doing that again. He may be frustrated, upset and angry about his life, but being cruel to you will not help to resolve it.
  • olivo
    olivo stacey2507

    Posted

    You couldnt have met a lovelier man when he was younger -who worked 3 jobs for his kids, and loved us all so much -NOW, he has pushed me down and I broke my wrist, (in plaster for 2 weeks - he says I shouldnt have got in his way. He slapped my face so hard, my ear bled, and I couldnt work in the charity shop next day as face was so swollen. he says I deserved it for shouting at him. Alcoholics take no responsibilities for anything!  He says he just wants to drink socially, so I agreed to that, but it was never enough, he would have 2 cans of beer in front of me while watching football, but was so legless it was obvious he was topping up wth vodka!  
    • stacey2507
      stacey2507 olivo

      Posted

      I am so sorry for what you have been through Olivo, From what you are saying, I can see the true affects of this disease at it's worse. It is not okay what he is doing to you, physical abuse it never okay. If this is what's happening, he needs to know what he is doing is not okay, the abuse.. (when he is sober). It sounds like he needs to go to a rehabilitation stay, so that he is getting off the alcohol within a safe environment for himself and for everyone around him. I cana ssure you he would not be meaning to do this. I know from my past that sometimes after a drinking session that the anxiety is so so so bad that all you need it another drink.. He may not even remember what he is doing due to black outs. You need to make sure that you are safe, and he really needs to know that he needs help and know everything he is doing under the influence to push him in that direction. I am so sorry for all of the pain it has caused yu. My dad and mom are the most kind hearted people in this world, but alcohol did not reflect this.. trust me.. he is still that beautiful man that you married..... he just needs to get past his addiction
    • stacey2507
      stacey2507

      Posted

      His intention is not to hurt you.. 

       

    • olivo
      olivo stacey2507

      Posted

      Thank Stecey, but he is not the beautiful man I married, he is verbally cruel, unkind, and physically hurtful.  The man I married would never have spoken to me the way this stranger does. For what it's worth, if I had known how this would turn out, I wish I had got out when I was financially able to, and it would have saved me years of pain. 
  • hope4cure
    hope4cure stacey2507

    Posted

    Hi Stacy,

    My my son is a alcoholic now for 22 years, started out as a teen, it had escalated to where it is whole life and unfortunately his whole family has given up on him. I have not, I know he will either find peace and die or find sobriety. That's the only two choices he has. He has spent half his life in and out of jail, rehab and living with enablers or on the streets. That's only part of his story. 

    A Medical Doctor Examining an Alcoholic is the first thing to consider. Malnutrition. Sugar cravings and mineral defencies is common among drinkers which in turn causes cravings.

    An individual who decides to stop drinking alcohol should seek advice from a physician. There are several reasons why this is essential. First the individual needs to assess his physical health before he starts to implement a technique to stop drinking. As well as a plan for relapses.

    He may be suffering from hypertension, high blood sugar, internal organ failures and other diseases which may put the life at risk. A doctor can help the alcoholic understands his true condition. The doctor can also guide him to the correct technique of quitting, the right detoxification procedure or how he can adjust his physical characteristics to bear the process. This is a doctor who specializes in this and a pshyciatric evaluation is also extremely very helpful. Why do u drink? Getting to the reasons and understaning why u drink can help give u ammunition for changing behaviors and stay sober.

    In spite of the limits an alcoholic may meet with some of the medical doctors in society when it comes to tackling a drinking problem, it is highly recommended to seek advice from a physician. Trying to do it on UR own is setting urself up for failure in most cases.

    Having a plan for relapse and ways to avoid the life & roll that  alcohol had in ur daily life habbits and unconscious behaviors need to be changed. Behavior modification along with eliminating the mind from the constant cravings and undermining sobriety by the false attempt to stop during without preparation for the possible side effects is a set up for slipping back into old behaviors. How much the mind will convince you that u can just have two or three drinks and stop is one of the first challenges. 

    Many doctors who are familiar with withdrawl programs can prescribe medication to help with the habitual cravings . This will help give the drinker a head start without the mind overwhelming the cravings causing relapse.

    I hope you seek out professionals to give you a clear and precise program for you. Everyone is different and there is no one size fits all to quit. This is a powerful mind altering drug. Most alcoholics beleve they can quit on their own and that's where the trouble begins. To be successful a alcoholic needs support phycisally, emotionally and spiritually to be successful. As well as family support.

    Sobriety can be part of UR life. This disease is in many families. Some find sobriety as others never do. I hope you are one who can live a life of sobriety.

    HOPE4CURE

     

    • stacey2507
      stacey2507 hope4cure

      Posted

      Hi there hope4cure, 

      Thank you so much for responding to me and for putting so much thought in your response. I really appraciate you opening up anout your current situation. I am so sorry to hear that this horrible disease has gotten hold of your son.. I do hope that he find sobriety. Mother and father, too, were both alcoholics. They both lost a lot, stopping drinking alcohol at times, but then starting again. My mother lost her children, and dad lost a lot, too. It took them a lot of time after losing a lot to finally fight the disease. My dad is recently sober, and my mum has been sober for over 10 years now, but it did take over her life for many, many years... so there is hope. It is my belief too that abstinence is the only way. I am going to see a doc on friday to get a referral to see a psychologist so they can work through all these things with me. I need this to be confirmed in person by a proffessional for me to make sure that I start taking the steps to sobriety. This site has really shown be that alcoholism doesn't just affect the every day drinker, and the psysical dependency, but also the psychological dependency which is what I believe I have. Thank you to Peter for his proffessional advoce and everyone who contributed to this post, because it really has been the reality that ive needed to take the steps in the right direction. I have ckung to the peoples who's views are that I can handle it and I just need to make sure that i'm around the right people to make sure I don't make any silly decisions. People don't realiz that the choices I make comes from within, and it's not people 'egging' me on at the end of the day, its me that continues t drink once I start not because I want to, but because I can't stop. People don't think I have a problem because i'm not an every day drinker and because i don't 'go crazy' every time i go out, so therefore I can control it.. but they just don't realize the true affect it has on me.... so I need to follow my heart and mind to move forward. 

      Thank you again for your input. 

      I really, really appreciate it! 

    • stacey2507
      stacey2507

      Posted

      I said peter, I meant Paul 
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