Quit job so depressed

Hi Philip you ok?  Bev x

Hi all

Yes still here very bad. day yesterday could not face anyone or anything. Have now got some councilling not sure when it will start. Feel so ashamed of the way I Feel especially with all the support and advice from you all. Did not realize that there are so many lovely people out there who face the same demons days after day.

Hi Philip,

I'm a very emotional person (oversensitive some call it) and during this year of depression, I have had to learn to befriend my raging emotions as they often get the better of me and are not helpful. The emotions are real so it's no good suppressing them or pretending they are not there (although I know some people can get away with "faking it" as a long-term coping strategy). The feelings of shame you have are real but I would suggest they are misplaced. Hopefully the counselling (when it starts) can help you address it. In the meantime, I think you would find some useful info online about boosting your self-esteem. Depression distorts the way we see ourselves (and the way we think others see us). Try to focus on all the years you have been a good provider for your family and made a positive contribution. This is still the person you are - you haven't lost that part of yourself. It's ok to have days when you just take time for yourself - you have earnt that so don't put somuch pressure on yourself. I was recently made redundant because of my absence with depression so I'm at a bit of a crossroads in my life wondering what the next step will be. Please don't lose hope. Make some plans for the future: see a friend you haven't seen for a while, go for a walk. Try not to cut yourself off from people for toomany days in a row otherwise it may become a comfortable habit. Sorry - hope this doesn't come across as nagging. Just trying to help with lessons I've learnt in the past year that have got me through one more day....and then another after that...until I've seen that things can get better,however slowly (sometimes I feel really positive and wonder where the feeling came from.I don't overthink it too much -just go with it and am grateful for such days) :-)

Hang in there Philip. You have got this far and each day makes you a bit stronger inside (and a little wiser for the lessons you've learnt). Please keep in touch. Blessings.

Great reply Digsby x

Thank you so much for all those comments Digsby.

I can see how true they all are, but why is it so hard to put them into practice. It sounds like you have been through so much youself

Motivating ourselves when we are feeling down is like climbing a mountain with a pile of bricks strapped to our back (and our shoe-laces tied together!) It's such a tough thing to do and no one can do it for us even though all we want is for someone to come and carry us along the journey for a bit until we feel better. It's OK to take a pause in life's journey - it's not a race; there's no prize for finishing faster ;-)

Taking small steps is the way to go. It will help restore our self-confidence and self-belief that we can still do things and we are still worthwhile. I am learning all the time but it has taken a long time to start to think a bit differently and not get swept away with the negative waves. The negative thoughts are very real still but I try to let them wash over me like a wave, that will recede once I've acknowledged it is there, but I'll try not to splash around in it and make it bigger.

It is a hard place to be in, my friend, but you are strong and you can win the daily battle. Don't fight against it so hard. Accept it for what it is and I hope it's power over you will fade. Let me know when you experience some victories in your life and remember those victories and the things you are grateful for when you need positive affirmation in your life. You have friends here who want to support you. Take care :-)

Thank you so much for these comments, taking smaller steps a nd setting more manageable goals I think is the key for me.

I'M beating my self up so much for feeling like this I just looking for an instant cure to be happy and contented. Like yesterday forced myself to go to the gym because I need exercise, but after about 30 minutes I felt shattered and that got me down because I then felt that I shouldn't be feeling so tired after a short period of time. These negative thoughts then take over and just feel so miserable. Going to start counselling on Thursday hope this will help but I do know it has got to come from me, but it is so hard

Hi Philip,

Getting to the gym was a great step! Don't be so hard on yourself - 30 minutes sounds like an excellent start that you can gradually build on. It's easy to say we "should" be doing this or "shouldn't" be doing that but there is no rule-book. Give yourself every credit for the huge effort you are making to motivate yourself into action - that is the hard first step. Then not viewing your efforts negatively but being positive about everything you do and viewing it as an achievement. We might not do as much as we had hoped, but it doesn't render worthless the progress we have made. One step at a time ;-)

We have all looked for that quick fix but there is rarely a short cut to recovery: it takes as long as it takes and accepting that is part of the recovery. You're doing all the right things :-)

How did your first counselling session go?

Best wishes,

Digsby