RA and Herpes (HSV 2)

Posted , 3 users are following.

Hey guys

I'm together with this girl and she has genital herpes. To speed things up, would it be bad if I end up getting that virus from her? I mean in combination with my current RA. It's not that I want it but there is the possibilty of getting it. If so I will need to dump her because I'm quite happy with my life right now when you look at the RA side.. no pain etc. Wouldn't want to risk that one.

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  • Posted

    Hi CR. Herpes isn't good even if you don't have RA! Don't risk it. I hope she is getting treatment.
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    • Posted

      Well I already had unprotected sex with her so far and man I love her so much.. It's perfect what we have together right now..  I mean I will break her heart and mine probably too
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  • Posted

    Well it's your choice but remember the herpes virus can lay dormant for years so although you may not get any symptoms initially you could develop problems in years to come. Go and see someone at the special clinic for sexually transmitted diseases and take advice from them.
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  • Posted

    I know nothing about genital herpes other than a brief look at the N|HS website on this. I almost wat to ask if you are for real. If you are as in love with this girl as you are - and even if not - shouldn't you be in this together. Clearly the sensitive type - you need to be going to the doctor, counsellor, sexual health clinic etc together.
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  • Posted

    Don't dump her! Just be patient and loving.

    Genital herpes is nastier for a woman, especially the first time, but with treatment it will go – possibly in a week or two.

    The herpes virus stays in the body and lets itself be felt from time to time – not often, don't worry – but my experience is it never comes back as bad as the first time.

    I can't say how bad it feels for a man, but as far as I know, not so bad.

    (And check it out online, but as far as I know you could only catch it from an open lesion)

    Take advantage and get to know her well in other ways... (just some motherly advice!)

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    • Posted

      I think that according to this there is no cure

      www.nhs.uk/Conditions/genital-herpes/Pages/Introduction.aspx

      but also I gather many people have it without being aware of it.

      The one thing that it does say is that you should use a condom.

      Of course, in a long-term relationship that might be embarassing but I have no doubt she will understand. I remember 10 years ago being with a lady for about 4 months. I was her first partner since her marriage (I couldn't be sure). She was over 50 so that I was unlikely to make her pregnant. She didn't know where I had been and so there were many reasons to use a condom, but because of embarassment I didn't discuss it with her. It would have implied that she had been sleeping around (how dated that term sounds!)

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    • Posted

      Yes, of course!

      You could always use a condom and then no worries...

      (I'm just one of those weird people who believes you can learn new things from adversity!)

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  • Posted

    CR7. I don't mean to pry but I don't know how old you and your partner are or what plans you have for the future but if you were thinking of having a baby whilst this virus is 'live' you should seek a medical opinion. I am a midwife and have delivered babies where mothers have herpes and it can be passed on. Just be cautious. Nobody for one minute is saying end this loving relationship you have. Just be careful and good luck.
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    • Posted

      I'm 21 and she is 25. I told her on how I feel and we both cried a lot.. She was thinking I would break up with her.. I feel so happy when I am around her.. When we spent the day together I realized on how much I love her.. I was seeing my Rheuma Doc amd told him about my fears. He responded luckily it's only that Herpes and not HIV or Hepatitis - these wod be much worse. He also mentioned that the herpes wouldn't make my RA worse BUT it could lead to problems when I need additional medication beside my MTX. 

      His advise was using condoms, no sex during outbreaks and her daily medication against it. There will still be some risk left but if I want to be with her I need to take that risk. That's the decision I have to make. And I really don't know what to do. My heart belongs to her and my brain says dont risk it.

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    • Posted

      CR7 you are so lucky to have found one another. You are obviously soul mates and are meant to be together. I am sure you will get through this together. Be happy and good luck 😘
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    • Posted

      Thanks for your words smile I giess you're right on that.. to be lucky we found each other. And for now I really need to stay away from the Internet and enjoy my life😄
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  • Posted

    So to keep you all updated.. I broke up with her today. I just can't life with the thoughts of getting the virus too. It was like a tumor eating me from inside. 
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    • Posted

      Oh how I love her.. But I'm 21 who knows how long this one lasts.. Maybe a year or two or 5 or even 10 then what? I could get the Virus from her and I'd be in the same boat as she is right now.. and I'm afraid pf that. The joy turn into fear and all I did was thinking about herpes.. what life is that. This decision was made with the brain and sucks even more because its against what my heart says
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    • Posted

      Yes you are young and you've your whole life in front if you. Why put up with another medical problem when you already have a life long condition? Only you can answer that. I have a sneaky feeling that love may overcome all of that. After all you thought she was your soul mate. Take care
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    • Posted

      If you "love her" and you're walking away from her for nothing more than herpes, then life and all future relationships will be tricky. Because there are one hellova lot of much nastier things in store.

      Herpes is nothing. Think of it as a cold, which is also a virus. It'll be over in two weeks.

      And I'm curious, what is that "boat she's in now"?

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    • Posted

      What nastier things are you thinking of?

      With the same boar I mean telling all future potential partnes that I have an incurable STD amd than being rejected.

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    • Posted

      You might try a local Sexual Health Clinic. Where I live you can book them directly. I went to one about a year ago and it was very discrete.
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    • Posted

      They are the people who specialise in this. They can give you reassurance and tell you the precise situation. They can talk about it with you and then you can make a descision dispassionately. These are the specialists - you go to the garage to get your checked - well the sexual health clinics are the specialists in the area you are concerned about. But the decision is yours.
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    • Posted

      I only mean that life is full of unpredictable calamaties of which herpes is one of the mildest, especially if you consider all the illnesses on display in these forums.

      But I did already share my herpes experience of 33 years ago with you. And I never did think to tell all future partners because it seemed such a small thing. The first time was nasty, but after that I had about four or five flares in all that time and they were mild discomforts.

      I also didn't think to list the 200-odd cold viruses I had had before kissing someone, but perhaps I should have.

      Colds are viruses too and they can also be nasty.

      Speak to your doctor would be best.

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