Random Question

To those-- who are in unhappy marriages... Just wondering if you DREAD going to his side of family functions? I do because his parents think he's a catch and siblings don't really know what's going on. They are nice to me BUT it just feels so fake to be there. Tomorrow I have a party with the family and my anxiety is sky high.. : (

My husband is doing ok supporting me while I go through this menopause crap. Our only issue is sex. I can barely function and put food in my mouth and he still expects sex from me and gets mad when I reject him. He makes unnecessary comments as well sometimes and it p*sses me off (nearly threw a pan at him one day)!! Doesn't make my situation any easier thats for sure. My anxiety is unbearable and rn hormones are 40% and he's 60% of it! If a man had to deal with just one of our symptoms they would literally DIE!!!

Hi Susan

I think that Perimenopause is one of those times where the quality of the relationship and the partner shows, comes to the surface. Most of the times, women tend to compansate the unloving remarks or the lack of support and understanding of their partners. They try anything to cheer the partner up, keep him happy and satisfied. They often swallow their thought as to not to upset him. During peri that extra strength and wit falls away. The woman needs all her strength for herself now and can no longer compensate his short comings. So, many times what one sees during perimenopause is simply the actual role that partner plays in our lifes... Just without the modification by the means of the woman. So, perhaps now, where we are now preoccupied with our own Tribble in peri, we simply see clearer what has always been there? And since we are suffering with these damned symptoms, that truth might hurt us even more?

I have separated from my husband actually. We lived each other a lot, but simply didn't fit at all. My children, to this day, they always tell me that they were so happy that we separated. Since then, there were no more discussions in the house. Peace at last. (and I found a new partner that accompanies me in a very loving way through this mess). Think about it.. It's it your relationship, or is it really just peri

To all you lovely ladies,

I do understand all the pain, fear and suffering in peri... Believe me. I've been suffering for7 years now. But, still, I wouldn't want to be with a man that I'm not feeling connected to, that I'm not happy with. Even if he'd offer understanding and support. I generally feel that I do not wish to hang out years of my life with somebody I do not really want to be with. When I open my eyes in the morning, I'd like to know for sure, why I chose that guy beside me to wake up in my bed on that given day. Perimenopause or not. If rather suffer alone that having to explain and justify my lying on the couch again, doing nothing. With this partner now I feel loved and accepted every day. Bevor, with my ex, I always felt like I'm not good enough. He didn't make me feel appreciated

i too am questioning my marriage. i have been married for 25 years and have known him for longer.i do feel that peri and meno lift the veil so to speak and issues that i was able to sweep under the rug and accept are now no longer tolerable. i am struggling with what to do. i dont want to be alone or turn my grown childrens world upside down but i cannot see living this way for the rest of my life. we are such different people. i really do feel that my unhappy marriage is exacerbating my symptoms. i now understand why so many marriages fall apart at this time of life.

That is an interesting question. I was never in a great relationship with my husband as we never saw eye to eye on so many issues but my son is happy loves us both and the good thing was hubby never stopped me from doing what I wanted. I used to be out with my gfs on the weekends partying and enjoying. Now, they call me but I dont feel like going out drinking or dressing up because of the pain. All the things which seemed fun now Feel like a chore as all I want to do is sleep. So I lost most of my friends who dont see the same woman anymore and part of me doesnt even care.

But now I find myself stuck at home with him and he has to deal with me and my frustrations and moaning. I know he doesnt like it, I know he doesnt understand but atleast he tries and hasnt upped and left . so no I wont leave him and a small part of me is glad that he is atleast around cuz I dont know what I will do if I get worse and find myself alone. Even if he hardly hears anything it is reassuring that he is around