Really anxious to go on holiday - will I pay the rest of it off?

Hey Carl, have you considered asking your GP for diazepam or something else to calm you down, just while your flying.....or are you anxious about the whole holiday?

Danielle

Hi Carl,

I'm sorry to hear that your anxiety is ruining the thought of going on holiday with your friends.

What is it that you are frightened will happen if you do go?

I know its a cliché but surely they aren't real friends if you aren't able to confide in any of them about how you are feeling.

Is there not one particular lad that you are a bit closer to and that you feel you could go to with this worry?

I know its a daunting thought as it is the first time you have been away with them but is there no way that you can try to look forward to it and think how much fun it will be. You said yourself that you don't want to miss out on this experience.

I really hope that you can start to look forward to it soon,

Lisa

Thank you both for the replies.

@Danielle it is the whole thing I am anxious about unfortunately.

@Lisa I don't know I can't really explain what is making me feel like this. My dad was diagnosed with dementia at just 42 a few years ago and it's almost as though I am sat up thinking at 4am ''If I pay this and go, then my dad will die while I am there'' it sounds soooo stupid I know and I can't explain why I think like that, I then tthink oh and if not my dad it will be my nanna. I feel embarassed writing this because putting it like that it just sounds stupid but I can't change my thought pattern.

Carl, Danielle made a good suggestion. Another possibility is Xanax (alprazolam) which is fast acting. If

you're afraid of flying it will alleviate your fears quickly. You can take it shortly before you board. It was

prescribed to me when I had to undergo a medical procedure which scared me. After taking Xanax I was

very relaxed. Diazepam should also help. Speak to your MD. asap because often it takes awhile for the

medication, ie mirtazapine or diazepam to manifest its effectiveness.. He or she should be able to

prescribe something so you can enjoy your holiday with you friends. I wish you well and hope

you'll have a great time wherever you're going. Also your MD might prescribe something to help you sleep

so you don't obsess over your holiday plans. Good luck, and bon voyage.

I didn't really want medication because most of them give you drowsy side effects and can't drink alcohol on them. Is there an alternative effective solution? I don't want to take them and them be drowsy/not myself for the whole time.

To be honest with you carl if you are really anxious something like diazepam probably wont make you that drowsy if you just take a very low does as the anxiety kind of uses it up. You would probably just feel much more relaxed about the whole situation and much more mellow.

You could always just take one for the flight and the first day perhaps then by the time you get there and get into the swing of things you will probably realise that you were worrying about nothing and start to enjoy the experience without having to take anymore of them.

I would really like to use anything but something like that, I know it will work for a lot of people but I really don't think they are for me unfortunately, I would like to think that would be my last option, hopefully there are others. Thanks for your replies

I second Arthur's suggestions.

Carl, I really think that you need to get your issues around your family sorted before you go on any holiday, i mean if your worrying about it this much, surly your own peace of mind is better than this??

I know you really want to go, but if your just going to be worried all the time there's a chance you wont enjoy it the way you wanted to anyway. I mean if you think when you get there then all your worries will go away and you will start enjoying yourself then by all means proceed, id hate for you to miss out on something like this.

I also agree with Lisa, is there not one particular guy you get on with better than the rest who would understand your situation and give you understanding and advise?

Plus i still think you should go see your GP, there's other things beside medication they can offer, for instance im awaiting cognitive behavioural therapy, its supposed to help you turn your negative thoughts into positive ones, ergo helping to alleviate your anxiety.......only problem is its done in sessions so i doubt you will be 'cured' before its time to go on your holiday. Still, go talk to your GP, it cant do any harm, there may be something else they can suggest, and there not going to force medication on you if you really don't want it, trust me, they will only make suggestions and agree on one your happy with.

hope this helps

Danielle x

Thanks for the reply.

To be honest, not really. I don't think it'd say private since there are so many of us going so wouldn't feel comfortable talking with any of my mates about it.

I'm not completely against going, I think about it and enjoy it, but then other thoughts come in about me being ill, family getting ill while I'm there and even stupid things like getting lost or separated from the rest of the group and being lost.

It isn't one thing I can put my finger on really. To be honest, I remember feeling like this in the past on a school trip and when I went there I was doing that much stuff I didn't have time to think about it, I think with anxiety it's a lot worse actually thinking about it than actually doing it (from someone who feels anxious a lot). But then I think, well this is another country, I can't just go home if I don't like it. Know what I mean?

Ye i get what you mean, i felt nervous (i wont say anxious) when i went on holiday without my mum for the first time, it was horrible, but like you said i ended up doing so much stuff i forgot about my worries and ended up having a pretty decent time and if you think that this is what's going to happen when you go then maybe it is just the flight you need to worry about?

And the great thing about CBT is that you don't have to go in there with all the answers, that's what they are there for, to help you figure them out, then once you've pinpointed it together, then try to resolve it. I'm not saying its definitely going to work for you, it doesn't on some people, but more often than not it does work. And you'd know how to help yourself next time something like this comes up, or maybe just wont feel anxious at all. Never know till you try.

And yes, of course its worse thinking about it, all your mind is doing is bringing up worst case scenarios because you cant think of anything worse happening to you, which btw they probably wont. Your making up excuses in your head not to go, i know it sounds stupid, but if your that scared then this is your minds defence....if you convince yourself enough something is going to go wrong then you'll convince yourself enough not to go.....do you see what i mean?

It's you against your own mind and imagination, and trust me you'll be surprised with what your mind can think of when its put under enough stress, even very extreme things will start to sound plausible and your going to scare yourself more.

Honestly, i know i keep repeating myself, but go to your GP, especially if you can't talk to a friend, at least talk to someone about it who can actually do something about it.

Danielle x

Cheers Danielle you have gave me some great advice and I will definitely get an appointment for next week

Good, I'm glad and its not going to do any harm even if you walk out of your GP's with advice, at least its something you didn't have before.

I really hope you feel calm enough to go on holiday carl, and that you and your GP agree on something to help you.

Best wishes

Danielle x

Carl, your problem sounds just like mine and I'm a 68 year old granny! I've always been a worrier about just about everything but holidays especially. The booking of them is always down to me, the biggest ones being for our family of ten and having to sort all their details out on the booking form, stress, stress stress. The thing is, I don't know what it is I am stressed about. I can't put my finger on why I always feel so anxious, even if it's two months or more before the actual holiday I'll have panic attacks. Pacing up and down (always at night so not much sleep) churning stomach, dry mouth etc. I expect you know the feelings. I try to tell myself I'm being stupid because nothing has EVER gone wrong and I've had a good time. I found that lying down and going over the whole thing in my mind, from the moment I leave the house, the journey to the airport, the flight, accommodation and finally relaxing on the beach made me realise that there shouldn't be anything to worry about.

I went to the doctor and got some low dose diazepam (valium) but only took about three, just a couple of days before and one on the day and didn't need to take any more because the doing was much better than the thinking if you know what I mean. I didn't feel drowsy, just calm, in fact, it made me wonder if they were actually working because I DIDN'T feel drowsy! As I know it's so stupid of me to worry so much I recorded myself giving me a telling off, going through all the reasons why I was stupid to worry about every little thing and that at my age I should be more confident as there were people far younger than me who did far more important things and I found it really helped if I played it back several times. It showed me how pathetic I was being because, as I said before, nothing had gone wrong on any of my holidays and, if anything did then I would deal with it. My advice is to get some diazepam, try one or two to see if they do cause you to be drowsy but maybe you won't actually need to use them because, with me, just the thought that I had something to take if I needed it helped keep me more calm.

It sounds as if you're quite young and also I wouldn't think that you're going away for very long, perhaps two weeks at the most so I shouldn't worry too much about anything happening to your dad or nanna. So sorry to hear about your dad and the dementia, so young to have it but unless he's got other illnesses he's not really likely to die in the short time that you will be away and as for your nanna, you can't put your life on hold in case she dies when you're not there. Would your dad or your nanna want you to be anxious about them, no, they'd be wanting you to be out enjoying yourself which I am sure you will. If you're anything like me you'll ask yourself, after you've been on holiday, what it was that you were so worried about because nothing went wrong, you had a good time and can't wait to do it again. I know it's horrible to feel anxious over something that may never happen and it might take a while to feel good about going away but as long as you are not silly about things, don't drink so much that you're not in control of your actions and don't try jumping off high balconies you should have a good time. I really hope you pay the balance, go on holiday and have a really good time. Life's too short to keep worrying over things that may never happen, I just wish I had realised that years ago so I hope you get yourself sorted before that fantastic holiday you're about to go on. Good luck!

You need to go u can't let it stop you if u do then slowly it will take over your life u just need to remember panick attacks and aniexty can't kill you it might be bad for the first couple of days if that but it can't last forever it dose go away and u will calm down have a few shots before u go lol will make u feel better all the best

Chloe