Really bad derealisation

Thank you for the reply, yeah I was very happy in my childhood until I was half way through my time in high school, I had a very big panic attack at the beginning of the severe anxiety which was very traumatic and looking back I can't believe I went through such a bad panic attack,  I'm getting CBT starting in 2 weeks which im hoping will change how I view life but from now until then I am probably going to feel awful. My symptons make me believe im going to have a stroke or heart attack which scares me. I have also been getting a slightly tight jaw, can anybody elabirate on the reason I get this? thanks again!

You're not going to have a heart attack or a stroke believe me. And your jaw tightness is very typical - it's tension. You're becoming too aware of your body and analysing everything. Would be best to do some deep relaxation techniques to rest your agitated mind, let your body look after itself.  Everything you are going through I've experienced myself, as have many people on here. Anxiety will not kill you or send you 'crazy'. Be kind to yourself - do you have someone you can talk to about it?  Parents? Siblings ? 

It is yes. It's often very hard for someone with depersonalisation or derealisation to accept that their primary malfunction is anxiety disorder. Your anxiety is driving your worries about the body and your sense of disconnectedness is making you worry even more. The loop continues - you must break the loop by stopping thinking.  Create a mind gap whenever you can.  Your thinking is like an engine for anxiety - try not to get tangled up in your own thoughts.  And do not drink caffeine. 

Thank you, when are these symptoms with my heart going to go, im on propanalol and it has worked but I still get palpatations and it still feels a bit week. My recent thoughts over life have really scared me

This is exactly how im feeling - any suggestions?  I hate the feeling of being disconnected - 

I'm late to this party but had to make an account and post. I've been searching everywhere to find what I was experiencing. Not being able to find accurate descriptions from psych articles or other people reinforced thoughts that what I was experiencing was unique and ineffable which made my anxiety worse or feel I was going schizo, so it's helped a lot to see people experiencing exactly what I do. It really is so hard to explain. Along with the 'classic' symptoms of GAD and Depersonalisation I always feel like everything is menacingly alien. I feel deprogrammed from the normal way of perceiving the world everyone else (including myself up to a point) has since birth. The moon is no longer that ubiquitous night-light painted onto the night sky, now it's an incomprehensibly huge body of rock, floating there without purpose, terrifying me at its mere existence. The concept of 'existence' terrifies me in its abstract nature, despite never experiencing non-existence. Unanswerable questions like not knowing what it feels like to be dead and never resume consciousness terrify me. I look at someones face and I dont see a 'soul' or whatever I see an object with a collection of sensory organs. I understand all these posts. It's a concept that cant really be explained to someone that hasn't felt it but it permeates every single facet of existing and makes every waking second a challenge. I understand why they used to call GAD 'panphobia'. I really am so glad someone has talked about this all-encompassing anxiety at the absract concept of 'being'. I tried looking up 'existential anxiety' but its got nothing to do with angst about my place in the world its more the 'why' of me being a thinking feeling meat machine and not being able to come to terms with it. No, it's beyond that. It's an inability to come to terms with the fact that the fabric of existence is a thing at all. Anxiety caused by a thing being a thing. It makes no sense, which is why it's so scary. I cant overcome it because it cant be confronted.

There is one thing I get that I've not heard of anyone else getting. Sometimes  I wake up in an intense state of confusion and depersonalisation. I wake up feeling like my body doesn't belong to me, and my sense of touch is so inexplicably weird. I dont know who I am or where I am or have really uncomfortable dissociative experiences like being multiple people at once or other weird and ineffable feelings like that. I also get a really awful and intense hyper-awareness of being a biological machine. I feel my lungs expanding and my blood pumping and feel fragile and just...wrong. I wake up in this state and have to wake myself up fully and do yoga stretches before I can make another attempt at sleep. Often I lie there with my eyes closed for ages in this state of torture before realising that I'm even awake.

Anyway just knowing you are all in the same awful awful boat as me helps in its own way

Inchpunch, you've beautifully described the ineffable and terrifying experience of depersonalization/derealization. What you said about waking up in a state of confusion, that is something I've personally experienced several times and is actually an extremely common (albeit uncomfortable) dissociative experience. My absolute best advice is to seek out therapy. After that, and I'm sure I've posted this more than once on here, a big part of overcoming DP is accepting it. When I first began noticing/experiencing my symptoms, I was terrified at the lack of connection I felt to others due to feeling a lack of 'humanity' when looking at them. At this point, that feeling may persist at times, but I've realized that they remain human despite my strange feelings and that I can simply let those feelings be a push forward in my connections with other people. As with all forms of anxiety, the less time you spend preoccupied with the anxiety and the more time you spend living life in spite of feeling it, the less control and impact it has on you. The road you take to get to this point is something a therapist can help you with. If you want to ask me anything else I will answer to the best of my ability. Have an amazing day

Hi. Dont fret, it does sound like your derealisation  issue. I would visit the Doc soon though and discuss everything.  Don't try and manage alone. You really need to cut loose from your thought patterns. You're thinking too much.  Try some deep relaxation techniques and get yourself into a quiet space. Take care.  

thanks once again, yeah I have cbt on wednesday so im hoping that will help me on the road for recovery. I've been speaking to my mum about it so I have support. I find reassurance very helpful so thank you very much! I know im not schizophrenic or anything like that because my behaviour hasn't changed but I have been very disturbed by my thoughts it must be said and im afraid that my view on life has changed for the worse 

Hi I'm also going through this for past 8 months.I have been on antidepressants. But didn't get relief.any method to relieve from this?.I'm feeling exactly same like u.