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Really bad derealisation

Posted , 24 users are following.

Smeagul247
Smeagul247

Hello eveyone

I have had a very hard time for about 3 months from derealisation and anxiety that I got from exam stress but I can't help but think I have a problem with my heart. I get strong heart beats, flutters and tightness and occasional chest pain and despite constant reassurance from doctors that it is absolutely fine I still think it isn't in good shape. I am scared to go out for jogs because of my fear and the one time I went the gym to get my mind clear my heart was pounding but im still unsure if thats due to me worrying about it in the back of my mind. My derealisation had got better but then goes really bad which worsens my anxiety. I do have good days but I mainly have bad ones sad, I am also having strange thoughts about reality which is making me feel crazy, am I going crazy?, Im only 17 and I just want to be back to my old self before going through all this sad

5 likes, 105 replies

105 Replies

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  • jen31560
    jen31560 Smeagul247

    Posted

    Smeagul can you let us know how everything turned out???
  • Leopard999
    Leopard999 Smeagul247

    Posted

    Oh my god, this exactly what I'm going g through, and it's awful. Nothing looks or feel real and im always questioning myself if I'm real or I'm in a dream and im gonna wake up from some kind of nightmare! I try to ignore it as much as I can but it's extremely difficult. sad
  • jimmy69737
    jimmy69737 Smeagul247

    Posted

    I have been suffering from anxiety my entire life, and started getting panic attacks may of last year. I have researched and read literally almost everything on the Internet to do with anxiety, panic, derealization, depersonalization, every physical symptom of anxiety, fear of going insane, fear of every mental health condition, etc the list goes on and on. I have spend a good majority of my time on the Internet the past 2 years trying to justify that I'm not losing my mind or losing touch with reality because I have such distressing thoughts. I've never registered to a site like this I always just read and read. I had to register and respond to this however because it hit me so hard. I have been struggling so terribly with these thoughts as well. Ex. Nothing feels real, why are we here, the size of the universe, why we act and do things the way we do, why are humans the way they are, why they look the way they do, how does the earth just stay floating in the universe, why can we not feel the earth spin, and I could keep going. For whatever reason these thoughts scare me do death and sometimes cause full blown panic attacks. I have been deathly afraid for a while now that I am crazy and that it is only a matter of time before I completely lose my mind. I've always had quite an ocd personality and I think this may be it. I can absolutely 10000% relate to what you are going thru, and I would greatly appreciate it if you replied and let me know how you are doing. 
  • Numbi
    Numbi Smeagul247

    Posted

    Well.. I am 16 and I got diagnosed near a month ago. I've had this little problem for over 7 years. I'm having a bit of panic attacks too.

    So the first time I got a panic attack really cracked my life quantity I guess.

    It was a night and I was just about to fall asleep and I saw epilepsy-type aura(?). I jumped out of my bed and went to my parents' room. That didnt really help a (insert swear here). I was scared of getting horton's syndrome. Well I didnt sleep any that night and got a series of panic attacks.. More than 20.

    2 weeks after it went much easier: 0-1/day and 1-2/night and I could sleep 3-4am o clock. That lasted for one year, but sometimes there was pauses of one week or so.. Then i went to diagnose it.

    Then the dissosiation: all around the day i feel like i could walk trough a wall and like the world just isnt.. Its illusion of light if even that and keeps falling from me. And it seems i cant recognize myself from mirror so well. And i feel like i was a doll. I am numb and i dont feel pain so much....

    An i cant sleep without lights or 50% of nights alone.

    My feelings are too kind of mixed:

    ​Wonders, curiosity, anger, rage, sadness, tiredness, proudness, starting a chat and even the smallest wonders includes shame and shyness.

    The derealisation & depersonalisation are maybe pretty strong for me?

    Because im almost falling everytime i keep my eyes closed at shower...

    An im rarely sometimes having extreme fears of like me going paranoid or start hallucinating

        = Move out of my bed or where ever i am. I cant even shout to someone  because then "something could hear me".

    But yeah the pro. asked me like five times that do i feel depressed and am i sure :D

    No. I am happy, it is "easy" to live with it, but those moments with extreme fears...

     

    • Numbi
      Numbi

      Posted

      I... Kind of revived the day after that post... Wow it happened so fast and i didnt have any kind of panic therapy or like that i just magically revived.... 

      I still have mixed emotions and some fears but wow i didnt know people relax like this at evening... I can even feel that i can just go and sleep and yeah. Idk if this is some kind of pause after 7 years but its been half-a-day from that i revived.    Some of my muscles went painful relaxing after 7 years or so... You know... Normal life is the heaven of mine.

    • LemurKing02
      LemurKing02 Numbi

      Posted

      Oh my god, i think Numbi and i are twins, i am 13 and i suffer the exact..."exact!" same symtoms, shower thing and all, i feel as though life is a test, like its a "fake real", and we dthink its real because we dont know what real "real" feels like. I winder why science is the way it is, and why we are here, why we think, how we think,. i think everyone else is fake, and im the only real victim, and i have short thoughts of negative thiongs, and depression, i dont know if i have ever had a panic attack, but when i wake up in  my room at noht and its pitch black, i have to close my eyes and just breath.
  • jen31560
    jen31560 Smeagul247

    Posted

    Are any of you still here? How have you been?
    • jen31560
      jen31560 Guest

      Posted

      Very up and down. I know it's worse when I can't stop thinking about it, which is often. I obsess about it and constantly check for it. I need to stop that haha. You?
    • Guest
      Guest jen31560

      Posted

      same well i had the lump in my damn throat feeling all day since yesterday that got bettet but guess what? derealization got real bad everything felt dream like ugh i hate it so much
    • jen31560
      jen31560 Guest

      Posted

      I guess it is caused by anxiety!! Haha

      I have also been reading about Pure O, which is just the obsession part of OCD. and one can be obsessing over bodily symptoms. I definitely think we have this with our DP.

    • Guest
      Guest jen31560

      Posted

      yeah but after i eat it comes back ughh and yeah im ocd about it lol always obsessed about how i feel. i think i have both not sure rolleyes
    • jen31560
      jen31560 Guest

      Posted

      I get dp more when I'm alone, and DR when I'm out
    • Guest
      Guest jen31560

      Posted

      yeah i hate being alone my bf goes back to work tmw so im nervous about that
    • jen31560
      jen31560 Guest

      Posted

      I hear ya! Distraction distraction distraction. Have you missed work?
    • Guest
      Guest jen31560

      Posted

      i dont work due to a neuro muscular disease which sucks so im usually home all the time
    • sharon78529
      sharon78529 jen31560

      Posted

      Hi Jen - I feel exactly the same - I can't stop thinking about it - I've had it for two years and I know it's been brought on by anxiety and grief - but I just want it to go - it's the worst feeling ever - it's as though your losing your mind 

       

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