Really bad derealisation
Posted , 24 users are following.
Hello eveyone
I have had a very hard time for about 3 months from derealisation and anxiety that I got from exam stress but I can't help but think I have a problem with my heart. I get strong heart beats, flutters and tightness and occasional chest pain and despite constant reassurance from doctors that it is absolutely fine I still think it isn't in good shape. I am scared to go out for jogs because of my fear and the one time I went the gym to get my mind clear my heart was pounding but im still unsure if thats due to me worrying about it in the back of my mind. My derealisation had got better but then goes really bad which worsens my anxiety. I do have good days but I mainly have bad ones , I am also having strange thoughts about reality which is making me feel crazy, am I going crazy?, Im only 17 and I just want to be back to my old self before going through all this
5 likes, 105 replies
jen31560 Smeagul247
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Leopard999 Smeagul247
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jimmy69737 Smeagul247
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Numbi Smeagul247
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So the first time I got a panic attack really cracked my life quantity I guess.
It was a night and I was just about to fall asleep and I saw epilepsy-type aura(?). I jumped out of my bed and went to my parents' room. That didnt really help a (insert swear here). I was scared of getting horton's syndrome. Well I didnt sleep any that night and got a series of panic attacks.. More than 20.
2 weeks after it went much easier: 0-1/day and 1-2/night and I could sleep 3-4am o clock. That lasted for one year, but sometimes there was pauses of one week or so.. Then i went to diagnose it.
Then the dissosiation: all around the day i feel like i could walk trough a wall and like the world just isnt.. Its illusion of light if even that and keeps falling from me. And it seems i cant recognize myself from mirror so well. And i feel like i was a doll. I am numb and i dont feel pain so much....
An i cant sleep without lights or 50% of nights alone.
My feelings are too kind of mixed:
Wonders, curiosity, anger, rage, sadness, tiredness, proudness, starting a chat and even the smallest wonders includes shame and shyness.
The derealisation & depersonalisation are maybe pretty strong for me?
Because im almost falling everytime i keep my eyes closed at shower...
An im rarely sometimes having extreme fears of like me going paranoid or start hallucinating
= Move out of my bed or where ever i am. I cant even shout to someone because then "something could hear me".
But yeah the pro. asked me like five times that do i feel depressed and am i sure :D
No. I am happy, it is "easy" to live with it, but those moments with extreme fears...
Numbi
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I still have mixed emotions and some fears but wow i didnt know people relax like this at evening... I can even feel that i can just go and sleep and yeah. Idk if this is some kind of pause after 7 years but its been half-a-day from that i revived. Some of my muscles went painful relaxing after 7 years or so... You know... Normal life is the heaven of mine.
LemurKing02 Numbi
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jen31560 Smeagul247
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Guest jen31560
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jen31560 Guest
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Guest jen31560
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jen31560 Guest
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I have also been reading about Pure O, which is just the obsession part of OCD. and one can be obsessing over bodily symptoms. I definitely think we have this with our DP.
jen31560 Guest
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Guest jen31560
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Guest jen31560
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jen31560 Guest
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Guest jen31560
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jen31560 Guest
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Guest jen31560
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jen31560 Guest
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sharon78529 jen31560
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Hi Jen - I feel exactly the same - I can't stop thinking about it - I've had it for two years and I know it's been brought on by anxiety and grief - but I just want it to go - it's the worst feeling ever - it's as though your losing your mind